Unutterable Truths
Tread lightly25 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
Great characters and you wrote the dialogue just as if youngsters were talking. I read this earlier tonight and it bothered me that it had no Sox star rating. It just so happens that a save a Saturday six to correct just such injustices.
Sunday, sixers will be flying around like a meteor shower, but today the six is rare. I wanted to bless this great piece with it.
I enjoyed wandering through your brain for a bit. Very enjoyable. Have a great weekend, John!
Douglas
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
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Great characters and you wrote the dialogue just as if youngsters were talking. I read this earlier tonight and it bothered me that it had no Sox star rating. It just so happens that a save a Saturday six to correct just such injustices.
Sunday, sixers will be flying around like a meteor shower, but today the six is rare. I wanted to bless this great piece with it.
I enjoyed wandering through your brain for a bit. Very enjoyable. Have a great weekend, John!
Douglas
Comment Written 13-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2024
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Thank you so much, D, for the Six and the read! You are the best!
Comment from joann r romei
Very well done, I enjoyed the length of the chapter, it gave a wealth of information regarding the characters, I hate when people call each other names and give unnecessary labels. very cruel.
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Very well done, I enjoyed the length of the chapter, it gave a wealth of information regarding the characters, I hate when people call each other names and give unnecessary labels. very cruel.
Comment Written 09-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Hi, Joann, Thank you so much for the kind review. Much apprecited.
Comment from Terry Broxson
A well-written story. I think you were hitting on all components in this write. The imagery of being on the hill with a best friend sadly remembering a loved one. The coach "getting his payback," and so well deserved. I liked the ending. I have had several gay friends, and while I loved every one of them, there is only so much an old straight guy can do. And rolling down the hill on them...ain't one of them! LOL, Good job! Terry.
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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A well-written story. I think you were hitting on all components in this write. The imagery of being on the hill with a best friend sadly remembering a loved one. The coach "getting his payback," and so well deserved. I liked the ending. I have had several gay friends, and while I loved every one of them, there is only so much an old straight guy can do. And rolling down the hill on them...ain't one of them! LOL, Good job! Terry.
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Lol, I agree, Terry, I had the first ending with Ty doing exactly that. After the first few reviews, I made the change. I wanted to see how far it would fly or roll, lol. Thank you, my friend, for the SIX much appreciated.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I really enjoyed this story, John, and I'm so glad Lynx got his own back on Ty's father. What a toe-rag! I loved the part in the field where Ty knocked Sammy for six. That surprised his dad! Lol. Men like him shouldn't be in schools, they are a menace. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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I really enjoyed this story, John, and I'm so glad Lynx got his own back on Ty's father. What a toe-rag! I loved the part in the field where Ty knocked Sammy for six. That surprised his dad! Lol. Men like him shouldn't be in schools, they are a menace. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thank you so much, my friend, believe it or not, I had just clicked on my email to read you. I can't wait so I'm on my way to it now! thanks again, Sandra!
Comment from Ulla
Hi John, this was a well written story and I liked the content. It has always amazed me how some people look at the gay community. I suppose it's because they are ignorant and afraid of what they don't understand, though that is certainly no excuse
Thanks for sharing this with us. As a by de by, some of my best friends are gay. All best, Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Hi John, this was a well written story and I liked the content. It has always amazed me how some people look at the gay community. I suppose it's because they are ignorant and afraid of what they don't understand, though that is certainly no excuse
Thanks for sharing this with us. As a by de by, some of my best friends are gay. All best, Ulla:)))
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thank you, Ulla, for the wonderful review. Yes, the contempt is so very hard to figure out. I believe and always have that the haters believe being gay is a choice. It's exactly where the ignorance begins and as far as they're concerned, where it ends. Thank you again, my friend.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I love this story, John. You've shown how two high school friends of different sexual orientation can still be good friends and stand up for each other. I like that Ty managed to teach his dad a lesson too. Well done.
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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I love this story, John. You've shown how two high school friends of different sexual orientation can still be good friends and stand up for each other. I like that Ty managed to teach his dad a lesson too. Well done.
Comment Written 07-May-2022
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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Thank you, Judy, I appreciate your kind words and always look forward to your comments and critiques. yes, he needed a good going over, lol. Thanks again.
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You're welcome, John. I always enjoy reading your stories.
Comment from Erika Seshadri
Hello,
This was a pleasant read. Very polished and well-written. Your setting descriptions are vivid and your dialogue realistic.
Nicely done. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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Hello,
This was a pleasant read. Very polished and well-written. Your setting descriptions are vivid and your dialogue realistic.
Nicely done. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-May-2022
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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Thank you for the kind review, Erika. It is much appreciated.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A very interesting and well-written story of fiction. I do not see the couch learning a lesson being blackmailed into accepting responsibility. His deep-seated hate is being contained by the blackmail and not an acceptance of the gay student.
But this is fiction and it still is a well-told story that kept my interest from beginning to end.
Best wishes.
Mary
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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A very interesting and well-written story of fiction. I do not see the couch learning a lesson being blackmailed into accepting responsibility. His deep-seated hate is being contained by the blackmail and not an acceptance of the gay student.
But this is fiction and it still is a well-told story that kept my interest from beginning to end.
Best wishes.
Mary
Comment Written 07-May-2022
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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Thank you, Mary! An admitted stretch on the blackmail scene, but it seems to work for the piece in the satisfactory conclusion category. Anyway, it's always an honor to receive your reviews, Thank you again
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I agree it does work well and one in a work of fiction one cannot get too judgmental but it also says how much your story is realistic and well written.
Mary
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Thank you, Mary.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
This is an interesting and engaging story with lots going on between the three main characters. I'm glad that Ty and Lynx are friends - the "sissy" and the jock. I'm not quite sure as to the role that Brady plays in this, maybe in a longer story his character would be fleshed out more. Ty's father is a typical unlikeable hardass, and it was refreshing to see Lynx manipulate him as he manipulates others.
I'm not sure if you meant for the father's involvement to be a surprise; at the beginning of the story you tell us about an ugly truth and as soon as dad is introduced we know he's involved. But that's perhaps what you wanted.
A good read and I really appreciate that your fine dialogue told most of the story.
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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This is an interesting and engaging story with lots going on between the three main characters. I'm glad that Ty and Lynx are friends - the "sissy" and the jock. I'm not quite sure as to the role that Brady plays in this, maybe in a longer story his character would be fleshed out more. Ty's father is a typical unlikeable hardass, and it was refreshing to see Lynx manipulate him as he manipulates others.
I'm not sure if you meant for the father's involvement to be a surprise; at the beginning of the story you tell us about an ugly truth and as soon as dad is introduced we know he's involved. But that's perhaps what you wanted.
A good read and I really appreciate that your fine dialogue told most of the story.
Comment Written 07-May-2022
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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Thank you for your wonderful review, Pam. They're always appreciated. Best, JohnC.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
An extremely touchy and polarizing subject. There is nothing right about what those football players did to Lynx. They deserve the full extent of legal retribution allowable under the law, and none of this rehabilitation crap either, straight punishment.
I am clearly and plainly a straight man with no tolerance for LGBTQ people, organizations, parades or anything related to them, but I also have zero tolerance for uncalled for violence against any group or individual for any reason. And that's what this piece is all about.
I didn't like the way the coach was blackmailed into doing something he didn't really want to do. Forcing him to put a player back on the team that he didn't want on there is no different than him forcing the player not to be on the team. It's a classic example of when push meets shove.
Nobody wins in these situations. I don't think anyone should be forced to do anything they feel is not right with their beliefs. Like I said, this is a very touchy subject and I applaud your bravery for broaching it, but I am not in agreement with the final outcome.
If the coach was indeed behind the attack, he too should suffer the harshest penalty of the law, but he shouldn't be forced to do something he really doesn't want to. It works both ways.
Your use of 'au' isn't exactly correct. Au = astronomical unit or alternate universe or the chemical symbol for gold. You should use 'aw' in these places instead.
Your use of 'what'd' seemingly to abbreviate 'what do', on a couple of occasions, is not correct. There is no contraction for 'what do'. 'What'd' is the contraction for 'what did'.
Again, I applaud your bravery for approaching such a volatile topic. It was a good story as well and told very convincingly.
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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An extremely touchy and polarizing subject. There is nothing right about what those football players did to Lynx. They deserve the full extent of legal retribution allowable under the law, and none of this rehabilitation crap either, straight punishment.
I am clearly and plainly a straight man with no tolerance for LGBTQ people, organizations, parades or anything related to them, but I also have zero tolerance for uncalled for violence against any group or individual for any reason. And that's what this piece is all about.
I didn't like the way the coach was blackmailed into doing something he didn't really want to do. Forcing him to put a player back on the team that he didn't want on there is no different than him forcing the player not to be on the team. It's a classic example of when push meets shove.
Nobody wins in these situations. I don't think anyone should be forced to do anything they feel is not right with their beliefs. Like I said, this is a very touchy subject and I applaud your bravery for broaching it, but I am not in agreement with the final outcome.
If the coach was indeed behind the attack, he too should suffer the harshest penalty of the law, but he shouldn't be forced to do something he really doesn't want to. It works both ways.
Your use of 'au' isn't exactly correct. Au = astronomical unit or alternate universe or the chemical symbol for gold. You should use 'aw' in these places instead.
Your use of 'what'd' seemingly to abbreviate 'what do', on a couple of occasions, is not correct. There is no contraction for 'what do'. 'What'd' is the contraction for 'what did'.
Again, I applaud your bravery for approaching such a volatile topic. It was a good story as well and told very convincingly.
Comment Written 07-May-2022
reply by the author on 07-May-2022
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Hello, Gary,
While I do appreciate your generous review as well as your opening truths, you seem to have missed the fact that this is a FICTIONAL piece. I thank you for your critiques on my uses of (au) and (What'd) correct or not in reality they are used in the fictional sense of the local tongue, and I am very aware of my intent to their usage.
What you may or may not like about the content of a writer's work should by no means reflect in your rating. I'd recommend taking a few minutes to read up on the rating guidelines. That being said, your opinions are beneath my focal point and as a lover of the craft, I will simply take them in stride.
Now, as far as your berating of the LGBTQ community; it disgusts me as you have now lowered this review to leagues below the standards of what is expected by the FS community, as well as the aforementioned. This is undoubtedly a major flaw in your thinking process or perhaps it is plain old ignorance, either way, it was not well received on my end and shouldn't be anywhere else in the real world.
In conclusion, I will take a bow to your applause involving my brave attempt at this piece, but my writing essence is not based on your applause, it is based on my love for writing. Have a wonderful reflective day. Best, JohnC.
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The content of your piece simply justifies the title 'unutterable...' My apologies for getting so heated. I should always do as told as a youngster; count to ten then speak. But this one topic, along with perhaps abortion, is one of the most explosive and volatile ones available. I will certainly try to contain my opinions in the future and try to stick solely to the craft. I thank you for restraining your own emotions when replying to my review. God bless you and yours.
Well, laugh at me, I really didn't note that this was fictional. Sorry.
