Reviews from

Ocean Moods

Illuminates the many changes to the ocean.

15 total reviews 
Comment from Father Flaps
Excellent
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Hi K. Lang-Slattery,
I enjoyed your entry for the No Rules Poetry contest, and I wish you "Good Luck!"
I especially enjoyed these lines as I have seen the waves sink in the sand as you describe so well, leaving only bubbles behind...
"Water glistens on the surface
Then slips into the sand,
Leaving only bubbles which
Pause before they burst."
Lots of terrific imagery in your poem,
"When the winds are high
Tossing spray from crest to crest"
and,
"Deep blue water, heavy golden sand.
Breezes blow shifting dune grass"
You have noise present as well,
"The rumble of the surf
Rips itself from beneath the sea,
Sending echoes to the mountains."

Can I suggest something? I'd like to see a wee sprinkle of fantasy at the end,
"...the foam of a curling breaker
Slides over the rocks
Where seaweed swings like maiden's locks." ...( I suggest,
...the foam of a curling breaker
Slides over the rocks
Where seaweed swings like a mermaid's locks.)

Well done! A very nice free verse!
Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Kimbob

 Comment Written 12-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
    Thank you so much for your detailed review and for your appreciation of my poem to the Ocean. Also, I've noted your suggestion and will think on it.
Comment from robyn corum
Excellent
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Katie,

I am a water being. Any time I'm stressed, a view of the ocean or river can calm me - don't know why, but it just DOES.

Reading your poem kinda offered that same feeling. Your words combined beautifully to offer great descriptions of this wild and unmanageable beast. *smile* You present her in several different forms and each representation is remarkably striking. You have a lovely, talented way with words. So glad you are a part of the community here. *smile* Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 16-May-2022


reply by the author on 16-May-2022
    Thank you so much for your review and the high rating. Yes, even when the waves are angry, the ocean has a calming effect (unless your in a small boat).
Comment from Joanne Gill
Excellent
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This is a Very beautifully written poem about changes of the ocean. On a still day
Glimpses caught seem stagnant.
Foam trembles on the brink
Of a wave before it crashes.
Water glistens on the surface
Then slips into the sand,
Leaving only bubbles which
Pause before they burst. I love the ocean it's my happy place. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 15-May-2022
    Thank you for your comments and appreciation.
Comment from Stuart Witt
Excellent
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I like the last line best with its vivid comparison. The poem, as a whole, I think is good, but I think the last line is very good. That sounds like the Creation Story in the Hebrew Scriptures. Dare I hope that you do even better than Hebrew Scriptures?

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 15-May-2022
    Thanks for your comments and the excellent rating. Like the idea of a kind of creation story, but in reality, the ocean is a source of many moods, even in these later days.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Excellent
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Great poem and I love the sensory details. You relied heavily on sight words and may want to balance future poems with more of the other 4 senses. There's not much advice I can give on such a well-crafted poem.

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 15-May-2022
    Thanks so much for these comments. I do know I often rely heavily on sight as my favorite sense (I'm also an artist). Your caution is something I should post next to my computer!
reply by Sandra Nelms-Ludwig on 15-May-2022
    Aha, it makes sense. You had a nice representation of sound descriptors. One thing some may forget is that smelling, and taste words are interchangeable. Something can smell and taste lemony, oniony or garlicky. Blessings with your writing!
Comment from BeckyMann
Excellent
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It was actually really difficult to pick a favourite line. I read it twice, but I couldn't pick just one. I loved the theme, the colour and the image. I had no criticism regarding the words - very powerful. My only critique would be to have the background be a slightly darker shade of blue. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-May-2022


reply by the author on 15-May-2022
    Thanks for your lovely comments and the excellent rating.
Comment from leather
Excellent
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Lovely verbal imagery. Makes me Hungary for the sea. The image and the colors used lends itself well to the topic. The last three lines are outstanding.

 Comment Written 09-May-2022


reply by the author on 09-May-2022
    Thank you for your comments and your excellent rating!
Comment from irishauthorme
Excellent
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Neat! You see more than the average observer when you look at the ocean.
Just returned from a trip to Kauai, beautiful! Was reminded of the primal force of the ocean while snorkeling, being lifted and dropped, pushed and pulled irresistibly. At the first bay, we were advised to stay out of the ocean because of sharks in the area. They didn't have to tell us twice!
Good work,
irish

 Comment Written 09-May-2022


reply by the author on 09-May-2022
    Thank you for your review and the excellent rating.
Comment from T B Botts
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello K.
Well done on your poem. I've spent countless days on the ocean, and I think you've captured the various moods perfectly. This was a delight to read, thanks so much for sharing.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

 Comment Written 06-May-2022


reply by the author on 06-May-2022
    Thank you for your exceptional rating and your comments. So glad you found my poem captures the feeling of the sea.
Comment from Haylee Hemphill
Excellent
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Hello!

This is such a well written poem. You have me longing for the sea. Your describing words are so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this! I love the colors and art.

One Love
Haylee

 Comment Written 05-May-2022


reply by the author on 06-May-2022
    Thank you for your comments about both my poem and my painting.