In Real Time
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Last Days of a Republic Part 2"Stories of the Here and Now
7 total reviews
Comment from Theodore McDowell
A very difficult topic to tackle, and you have done it in a very meaningful manner with deep symbolism, taking the conflicts on the issue within the family as the crucible for societal issues. Very well done. I know you are proud of this post.
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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A very difficult topic to tackle, and you have done it in a very meaningful manner with deep symbolism, taking the conflicts on the issue within the family as the crucible for societal issues. Very well done. I know you are proud of this post.
Comment Written 09-May-2022
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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Thanks again for the exceptional review and all your support for this piece. It was a long read, and I appreciate your perspective. estory
Comment from J. P. Olesen
Hi, estory,
This is a terrific story that I enjoyed reading even though I had not read Part 1. Your characters are skillfully brought to life by description, behavior, and dialogue. Your story, even on the surface, is compelling. I do think, however, that you will be disappointed if you're hoping the average reader will see your story as an allegory for the dissolution of the United States.
Allegories, like any symbolism, are extraordinarily tricky, and in my opinion (and only my opinion), it takes more than a title or a statement from the author at the end of a piece to make readers see any symbolic connection.
The real connection, is made by the reader themselves while the story is being read--and then, only with the subtlest assistance from the author. The reader should be thinking to themselves, "Hmmm. There's a deeper underlying message here." And then, with just the the right cue from the author, a flash of realization on the part of the reader.
Again, it's all very tricky. For example, in my fishing story that you read, there was some religious subtext that I thought was obvious, but no one picked up on it--not even readers who are devout. I never anticipated that they'd miss it--but they did.
I wish you the best of luck with your story however things go. You're a talented writer.
Sincerely,
J. P.
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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Hi, estory,
This is a terrific story that I enjoyed reading even though I had not read Part 1. Your characters are skillfully brought to life by description, behavior, and dialogue. Your story, even on the surface, is compelling. I do think, however, that you will be disappointed if you're hoping the average reader will see your story as an allegory for the dissolution of the United States.
Allegories, like any symbolism, are extraordinarily tricky, and in my opinion (and only my opinion), it takes more than a title or a statement from the author at the end of a piece to make readers see any symbolic connection.
The real connection, is made by the reader themselves while the story is being read--and then, only with the subtlest assistance from the author. The reader should be thinking to themselves, "Hmmm. There's a deeper underlying message here." And then, with just the the right cue from the author, a flash of realization on the part of the reader.
Again, it's all very tricky. For example, in my fishing story that you read, there was some religious subtext that I thought was obvious, but no one picked up on it--not even readers who are devout. I never anticipated that they'd miss it--but they did.
I wish you the best of luck with your story however things go. You're a talented writer.
Sincerely,
J. P.
Comment Written 06-May-2022
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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Thanks so much for the excellent review and your flattering comments and perspective. It was an ambitious write, I'm not sure it is successful altogether either, but it did get lots of people thinking. Most of them got the allagory, not maybe exactly as I would have wanted them too, but everyone has their own perspective after all. But I am glad the family seems to have worked in bringing up all these emotions. estory
Comment from Irish Rain
Loved it.
Seems very realistic, because it is.
We have this very situation in my family,
with my sons wife.
She is having a fit over the recent abortion
changes. She holds herself away from us.
My husband is very outspoken about his beliefs/
religion/politics...as is she but totally opposite.
I ride the fence with both of them.
Because I go my husbands way, but I understand
youth usually makes it's own way. Sometimes coming
back to our way, sometimes not. But, they must always find
out for themselves.
That's how this story strikes me. It's obvious Roe
is hypnotized by Brook, I wonder if he'd be so
sure of these convictions if Brook left him.
I think he'd return home, very confused.
Madison is having fun, and William is appalled.
The father is aghast, the mother heartbroken...I
would be too.
Yes, absolutely what is going on in our country.
A great story, I loved it.
Blessings...
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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Loved it.
Seems very realistic, because it is.
We have this very situation in my family,
with my sons wife.
She is having a fit over the recent abortion
changes. She holds herself away from us.
My husband is very outspoken about his beliefs/
religion/politics...as is she but totally opposite.
I ride the fence with both of them.
Because I go my husbands way, but I understand
youth usually makes it's own way. Sometimes coming
back to our way, sometimes not. But, they must always find
out for themselves.
That's how this story strikes me. It's obvious Roe
is hypnotized by Brook, I wonder if he'd be so
sure of these convictions if Brook left him.
I think he'd return home, very confused.
Madison is having fun, and William is appalled.
The father is aghast, the mother heartbroken...I
would be too.
Yes, absolutely what is going on in our country.
A great story, I loved it.
Blessings...
Comment Written 05-May-2022
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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Thanks again for the sixer and all the support. estory
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You're most welcome!!
Comment from prettybluebirds
Nicely done. Your story does show the division in families today. Yet, not all children stay the same when they get out into the world and see different ways and hear other ideas. This is well-written and interesting.
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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Nicely done. Your story does show the division in families today. Yet, not all children stay the same when they get out into the world and see different ways and hear other ideas. This is well-written and interesting.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the story. It is important to keep in mind that this is an allagorical story about the United States, and the state of society today. The parents are the traditions and foundation, the kids are the special interest groups tearing the society apart in their own interests, and also challenging the past and past beliefs and norms, exploding the foundation. estory
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I do understand why Roe and his parents are at an impasse, but my husband and I disagree with some of our boys about politics and have decided a family is more important, so we simply don't discuss politics with them. They agree family is more important than anything. You've done a good job writing this.
But Roe hung back next to his red headed girlfriend, (back beside his red)
Brooke and Roe said nothing about the fancy porcelein, the flowers, or the impressive silverware as they sat down. (porcelain & omit 'down')
Brooked surprised and hesitated for a minute before she set them down in front of her son and his girlfriend. (omit 'down')
Caroline sat down with a questioning look at her husband, (omit 'down')
Roe and his girlfriend sat deffiantly in their chairs, staring (defiantly)
I'm spending money so that you'll be ready to take over the business someday." (omit 'that')
But Brooke straightened up in her chair next to Roe and blurted out: (chair beside Roe)
The red haired girl with the pale, pinched face stood up next to him. (stood up beside him)
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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I do understand why Roe and his parents are at an impasse, but my husband and I disagree with some of our boys about politics and have decided a family is more important, so we simply don't discuss politics with them. They agree family is more important than anything. You've done a good job writing this.
But Roe hung back next to his red headed girlfriend, (back beside his red)
Brooke and Roe said nothing about the fancy porcelein, the flowers, or the impressive silverware as they sat down. (porcelain & omit 'down')
Brooked surprised and hesitated for a minute before she set them down in front of her son and his girlfriend. (omit 'down')
Caroline sat down with a questioning look at her husband, (omit 'down')
Roe and his girlfriend sat deffiantly in their chairs, staring (defiantly)
I'm spending money so that you'll be ready to take over the business someday." (omit 'that')
But Brooke straightened up in her chair next to Roe and blurted out: (chair beside Roe)
The red haired girl with the pale, pinched face stood up next to him. (stood up beside him)
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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Thanks again for the excellent review and for your support of the story. estory
Comment from BethShelby
I understand your story as an example of what is going on in the country. I see it happening in my own family as conflicting values change. I struggle to keep the family united through things we have in common, and allow those how have been persuaded to other ways of looking at things to have a right to their own opinion. Family may have a better change of allowing free thought than others. There are those who have worked to divide this country in such way that it is almost impossible to find unity. It is scary because that is the way other democracies have gone before they fell. There have always been differences of opinion but not to extent that no common ground can be found as it seems to be heading today.
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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I understand your story as an example of what is going on in the country. I see it happening in my own family as conflicting values change. I struggle to keep the family united through things we have in common, and allow those how have been persuaded to other ways of looking at things to have a right to their own opinion. Family may have a better change of allowing free thought than others. There are those who have worked to divide this country in such way that it is almost impossible to find unity. It is scary because that is the way other democracies have gone before they fell. There have always been differences of opinion but not to extent that no common ground can be found as it seems to be heading today.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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Thanks for the excellent review and your support and perspective on the story. You got exactly what I was trying to say in this piece. I am glad I got some people thinking about the state of affairs today. estory
Comment from royowen
I know these things happen, but it wouldn't interfere with my relationship with my children no matter what. If faith and love be something, then they are this love bears all thing, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, loves never fails. As it says in Corinthians, what I can't fix, God can. But cutting off, free thinking is a fallacy anyway, but I know what you mean, it would be heartbreaking, but grace allows freewill anyway. Well written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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I know these things happen, but it wouldn't interfere with my relationship with my children no matter what. If faith and love be something, then they are this love bears all thing, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, loves never fails. As it says in Corinthians, what I can't fix, God can. But cutting off, free thinking is a fallacy anyway, but I know what you mean, it would be heartbreaking, but grace allows freewill anyway. Well written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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Thanks for the excellent review and your perspective on the piece. It is important to remember that this is an allagorical piece, about the dissolution of the American society. The parents are the traditions, the foundation of society, it's founding values, the children are the special interest groups breaking away from those values and tearing the society apart in their own interests. estory
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Old Testament Scripture is both allegorical and predictive, and America is only a small portion of the world I?m afraid. we all have our problem. I know from going there it tends to be insular, but well done,
