The COs
Guardians of The Gated Penal Community4 total reviews
Comment from Fleedleflump
The density of the formatting made this challenging to read, but I still enjoyed it. There are some issues, such as too many descriptions around dialogue - if it's clear who is speaking, we don't always need them described. We also flip between detailed scenes and general summary a few times.
All that said, there are some excellent sequences in here. There's a real sense of place and reality - there's no doubt you know what you're writing about.
Mike
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The density of the formatting made this challenging to read, but I still enjoyed it. There are some issues, such as too many descriptions around dialogue - if it's clear who is speaking, we don't always need them described. We also flip between detailed scenes and general summary a few times.
All that said, there are some excellent sequences in here. There's a real sense of place and reality - there's no doubt you know what you're writing about.
Mike
Comment Written 17-May-2022
Comment from JoannaN
Congratulations on your first post :) your story reminds me of a very popular TV series from the beginning of this Millenium - Prison Break. Lots of luck in your contest.
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Congratulations on your first post :) your story reminds me of a very popular TV series from the beginning of this Millenium - Prison Break. Lots of luck in your contest.
Comment Written 10-May-2022
Comment from prettybluebirds
This is an interesting story but awfully long for one chapter. Also, a bit more space between the paragraphs would make this much easier to read. All those little words jumbled together could make one dizzy. Best of luck in the contest.
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This is an interesting story but awfully long for one chapter. Also, a bit more space between the paragraphs would make this much easier to read. All those little words jumbled together could make one dizzy. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
This was a great story. The CO risk their life everyday. It takes a special person to go to work. Those guys do not have a conscience. It is unreal how many people are in jail. There are so many people who would rather kill someone for their money so they can live free. I call them monsters. Pure Evil. You did a great job. You would get more people to read this if you made paragraphs out of your story. I use six lines or less. When I first came on here, I was told to put my words in paragraphs. It is up to you. But it would look much better. Have a great evening.
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This was a great story. The CO risk their life everyday. It takes a special person to go to work. Those guys do not have a conscience. It is unreal how many people are in jail. There are so many people who would rather kill someone for their money so they can live free. I call them monsters. Pure Evil. You did a great job. You would get more people to read this if you made paragraphs out of your story. I use six lines or less. When I first came on here, I was told to put my words in paragraphs. It is up to you. But it would look much better. Have a great evening.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
