My Tiny Visitor
A First and Last Poem for Potlatch Poetry31 total reviews
Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)
How fun! Except I'm not a fan of bugs, so I don't know if it could have visited me for quite that long. Your rhyme scheme and rhythm are great. Very enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
How fun! Except I'm not a fan of bugs, so I don't know if it could have visited me for quite that long. Your rhyme scheme and rhythm are great. Very enjoyable read.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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Thank you. I'm so glad you liked it.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Yvonne.
Great poem about a tiny friend. I spent a day with a big one a couple of years ago. He climbed around while I watched him.
Suggestion. Check the end of the last line in the third stanza. "same day, 'say' way" Should that be "same" way?
Robert
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
Hello Yvonne.
Great poem about a tiny friend. I spent a day with a big one a couple of years ago. He climbed around while I watched him.
Suggestion. Check the end of the last line in the third stanza. "same day, 'say' way" Should that be "same" way?
Robert
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 04-May-2022
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Yep, it should be. I've changed it. So you understand about the praying mantis. They are so friendly. Thanks, Robert.
Comment from R.B.Bunn
This was a cute poem. The flow was whimsical and the rhyme scheme was adhered to well. I really liked the personification of the mantis. I've always been fascinated by them.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
This was a cute poem. The flow was whimsical and the rhyme scheme was adhered to well. I really liked the personification of the mantis. I've always been fascinated by them.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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They are very friendly. Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Teri7
This is such a sweet and precious poem about the little praying mantis that sat on your hand. He is so adorable and cute. Thank you for sharing this with us! love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
This is such a sweet and precious poem about the little praying mantis that sat on your hand. He is so adorable and cute. Thank you for sharing this with us! love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Thank you for reviewing. Hugs.
Comment from lyenochka
That's so like you - you love even the bugs -- all forms of life. And you did choose a picture that makes the mantis look awfully cute!
Enjoyed your poem which celebrated the brief visit and allowed the visitor go on his way.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
That's so like you - you love even the bugs -- all forms of life. And you did choose a picture that makes the mantis look awfully cute!
Enjoyed your poem which celebrated the brief visit and allowed the visitor go on his way.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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I hated to leave him. Praying mantises are very friendly. Thanks, Helen.
Comment from karenina
Love this! As a young child, I was fascinated with the way they always seemed to be "praying!" (I was such a product of my Catholic School upbringing!) Then a disgruntled Nun told me that nasty fact that the female often ate her "partner" after "mating." and well... Suddenly I felt like I needed to run to confession!
WHICH is my typical long-winded way of saying thank you for this beautiful verse, with fine meter and wonderful rhyme and that very clever first/last repeating line!
You made me remember the childlike awe from way back then!
Karenina
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
Love this! As a young child, I was fascinated with the way they always seemed to be "praying!" (I was such a product of my Catholic School upbringing!) Then a disgruntled Nun told me that nasty fact that the female often ate her "partner" after "mating." and well... Suddenly I felt like I needed to run to confession!
WHICH is my typical long-winded way of saying thank you for this beautiful verse, with fine meter and wonderful rhyme and that very clever first/last repeating line!
You made me remember the childlike awe from way back then!
Karenina
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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They are very friendly little guys. Thanks, Karenina.
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You're welcome!
Comment from Sally Law
This is a fun prompt for a challenge. I enjoyed this childlike nature story. Nature is so fascinating to me. Sending you my best today as always, and so good to see you, dear!
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
This is a fun prompt for a challenge. I enjoyed this childlike nature story. Nature is so fascinating to me. Sending you my best today as always, and so good to see you, dear!
Sal XOs
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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It is to me, too. Thanks, Sally.
Comment from royowen
What a great study in ease of passage, you kept him, (or her) on your finger for an hour, and then parted company my friend, that's truly amazing, but he must have taken a liking to you to cling to the window looking in. Beautifully written in immaculate aaabb quintaines, well done Yvonne, blessings Roy
Suggestion, same day, same way.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
What a great study in ease of passage, you kept him, (or her) on your finger for an hour, and then parted company my friend, that's truly amazing, but he must have taken a liking to you to cling to the window looking in. Beautifully written in immaculate aaabb quintaines, well done Yvonne, blessings Roy
Suggestion, same day, same way.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Thank you. I hated to go inside and leave him.
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I?m sure he though he was glad you were inside out of it, I would have, bit envious, but nonetheless
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I?m sure he found somebody to devour heh heh
Comment from jessizero
What a sweet little (true) story! It's nice when nature pays us a visit, especially when the bug in question doesn't bite or sting. Thanks for sharing! Best wishes.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
What a sweet little (true) story! It's nice when nature pays us a visit, especially when the bug in question doesn't bite or sting. Thanks for sharing! Best wishes.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I like this style of starting and ending the same way, and you included your little friend in the way you presented your poem. Writing aside, what a moment to have this creature kind of bond with you!
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
I like this style of starting and ending the same way, and you included your little friend in the way you presented your poem. Writing aside, what a moment to have this creature kind of bond with you!
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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It was wonderful! Thanks for reviewing.