Reviews from

Inhumane

finding the meaning

20 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This story, Inhumane, is loaded with funny phrasing that helps keep the reader in the tongue-and-cheek zone and not looking to inform Interpol of a suspected confession via short story.

Jasper's response to the "inhumane" comment takes the whole idea of the purist critic defending his value judgements to what some may view as an overreaction.

Just a few of the neat lines that kept us aware that Jasper was dealing with a deck of fifty-one.

...moused the cursor...
Who knew what kind of lunatics might use it for nefarious reasons...?
...only a short nineteen-hour drive away!
...she went down like an incapacitated middle-aged woman.

Of course, "Based on a true story" adds a docu-drama effect at the end.

Loved this!


 Comment Written 27-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 01-May-2022
    Many thanks for the great review, Bill. G
Comment from estory
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's a decent parody of the relationship of readers to reviewers on the site and it shows how you can get into trouble by not giving out those coveted five and six star reviews and tell people exactly how it is. This reviewer has gone off the deep end...estory

 Comment Written 27-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 01-May-2022
    I think they responded very consequentially... lol Many thanks G
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ok. This is your usual good writing with lots of suspense, great sentences, and a touch of macabre humor. I can really identify with the first half of the piece, as you probably know from my reviews! You do loose me (that's me personally because I'm not really a fan of horror), not because of the writing (it continues to be great), but the ensuing stalking and impending violence is too much for me. I'm not suggesting you change the ending as I'm sure other readers, those who like horror stories, will appreciate it.
I only have a few minor edits to suggest:
. I think that you were looking for one address so "There it was." rather than "and there they were."
. and in the next line "They" ... now I know they is used for persons who you don't know their name or gender (and for gender neutral persons also), but in this case you indicate you have a name and later you make clear it is a woman. Rather than use the name or They, how about something like "the writer"?
. article missing in last sentence. "meaning of (the) word"

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 01-May-2022
    Many thanks as always. I'll have a look at those bits. G
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, G, I wouldn't want to get into your...er BadgerKidB's bad books if he reviewed my work! Not that I'd ever be upset with an honest and useful review. lol He could destroy fanstory. Funny from my point of view. Well done.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 01-May-2022
    I'm thinking of letting him out of his cage once in a while. G
reply by Judy Lawless on 01-May-2022
    Oh, oh! lol
Comment from dmt1967
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Somewhat taken aback, Jasper was unsure (of) whether to laugh, cry, or blow a fuse! (delete)

"That's easy to answer. I'm going to show you the true meaning of () word 'inhumane'!" (the)

This story made me laugh and shudder at the same time. Thank you for sharing and take care.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 01-May-2022
    Many thanks for reading and reviewing. Always appreciated. G
Comment from Spitfire
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I hear you on giving lengthy reviews and getting a mere 'thank you' for the effort! Imagine looking up a member, finding he/she/ it lived near you and getting revenge. You live a rich fantasy life, G.
Love that it included a Celine Dion CD. These details make your post a hoot. :-)

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 01-May-2022
    fantasy.... we'll see. lol Many thanks as always. G
Comment from Ric Myworld
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Huh, based on true events? Now you really have me wondering about this story. LOL. Your word choices and descriptions always have a way of putting me right in the middle of the action. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 01-May-2022
    Why do you think so many go missing on this site....
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh Wow! This is one of those stories that stays with you. I'll never use the word 'inhumane' in a review. I smiled as you described Jasper at his computer. When I read he couldn't sleep, I knew this story was about to go in a weird direction. It was captivating and suspenseful, and I enjoyed your style of storytelling. What was Jasper going to do with the curling iron? lol

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 01-May-2022
    Nasty burns with a curling iron! Much appreciated. G
Comment from aryr
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, You really showed the true nature of Jasper, G. I loved the picture of the several open phone books which I am sure Jasper used with delight. I was amazed that used 'inhumane' in his pursuit. Very well done and immensely enjoyed.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 01-May-2022
    People do say the most ridiculous things sometimes, like being a Nazi for pointing out grammar errors - because that's a great parallel. Pointing out some spelling stuff and massacring 6000000 people - yep, right on the same level. G
reply by aryr on 01-May-2022
    You are most welcome, G.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Revenge is so satisfying when receives a bad report on something he's made themselves vulnerable to. I remember writing a poem called "Cringe" expounding all the reasons why I was afraid to post, but having a sometimes life saving belligerence I overcame that, but never took a nailgun to my antagonist heh heh. Beautifully written my friend. Blessings Roy

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2022


reply by the author on 01-May-2022
    Much appreciated, Roy. G
reply by royowen on 01-May-2022
    Welcome