The Tor
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Penance"Adventures around & upon a hill
11 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Interesting read. Last paragraph asked a good question.
Lots of times when a supervisor calls an employee into their office it is because the news is not good.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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Interesting read. Last paragraph asked a good question.
Lots of times when a supervisor calls an employee into their office it is because the news is not good.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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So true, for me it was most of the time. And there's a certain tone that foreshadows not good news. It's nice to see you here, I certainly enjoyed your book.
Comment from prettybluebirds
I don't think many would care for the life you describe in your story. It sounds kind of tough to me. The story is well written and the words flow in a nice manner which makes it easy to follow. Nice work.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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I don't think many would care for the life you describe in your story. It sounds kind of tough to me. The story is well written and the words flow in a nice manner which makes it easy to follow. Nice work.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. It is a bit similar to my 1st two years in the convent. Things got better about the 3rd year for all groups. I think of my friend who recently passed short of 103 year old. She probably entered around 17 and was under that rule til about 1968...I haven't done the math, but that was a lot of years to live in that mindset. Even though we went out & taught, we were under monastic rule
Comment from Carlos' girl
This is a fascinating read and it is flawless; no errors of grammar or spelling. Perfect read. Great subject very interesting. Thanks for sharing w us.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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This is a fascinating read and it is flawless; no errors of grammar or spelling. Perfect read. Great subject very interesting. Thanks for sharing w us.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your supportive review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. t is difficult coming in cold. If you are interested, it is about a real trip to England but tweaked to go 'Twilight Zone ish' The first 18 chapters are about the power spots we visited, along with a crop circle. All with discussion about the Michael & Mary ley lines. This was building up to an idea of a sense we'd gotten, that we'd been there before. There were some pretty horrible things that happened. So I decided to write about them. You are welcome to scan through my portfolio to read any chapters leading up to this chapter. You could begin on chapter 16 to get into it. No need for a review, just enjoy.
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I would be glad to read prior chapters for sure
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You don't need to write any reviews. Just enjoy
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Like i said. Im good. To namedrop is demeaning. I could not be bothered. I just think alot of good writers are not being recognized
And alot of talentless egomainacs are.
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It's a way of being known better on here. I have a cwerain following& I follow others. I usually have 20 promised reviews to do.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is an interesting part of the story as Brother Samuel has to guess what the correct thing is to do with everything he says and does. I hope she escapes soon into her own world.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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This is an interesting part of the story as Brother Samuel has to guess what the correct thing is to do with everything he says and does. I hope she escapes soon into her own world.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. It was quite a fear based environment. Samuel did not know the 1/2 of it.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another thought-provoking chapter, Liz, and very well written. I keep wondering if/when Samuel will leave to return to the 21st century. The question in the last paragraph is a very good one. Why indeed?
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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This is another thought-provoking chapter, Liz, and very well written. I keep wondering if/when Samuel will leave to return to the 21st century. The question in the last paragraph is a very good one. Why indeed?
Comment Written 22-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. Madeline keeps wondering where all of this is leading to. Is she trapped there forever? I'm not giving you any spoilers...lol
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You're most welcome, Liz. I don't expect any spoilers. lol
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lol
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
The writing is compelling. Poor Brother Samuel to be so frightened of what he fears will be harsh punishment in such a seemingly unforgiving environment.
What did he do? I must admit, at times, I was confused about the now, the past and the present. I understand that the protagonist "vortexes" back in time and now he/she appears to be interacting with people he/she knew in another time, but I am not sure where most of the action takes place. Is it in this time (15th c) or the other (21c). Maybe it's because I am trying to read this out of context, but if I am confused, other readers may also be.
"Well, Brother Samuel, I do not have all day. Aren't you here because you just served a penance for dallying? Do you need a further one? Have you learned nothing, Brother?" He rubbed the back of his neck." I think this is where my confusion begins...who is speaking? From the paragraph before, I might think it is Sylvester, but then, I presume from what follows it must have been Prior Richard. What is going on in this scene exactly. Is it meant to be mysterious or do I need to read it more than once?
I think you writing is evocative, but the sequencing in this piece feels off to me. Like I said, it might be that I am reading out of context, but I feel like you need a bit of editing to make it quite clear what is present and what is happening.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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The writing is compelling. Poor Brother Samuel to be so frightened of what he fears will be harsh punishment in such a seemingly unforgiving environment.
What did he do? I must admit, at times, I was confused about the now, the past and the present. I understand that the protagonist "vortexes" back in time and now he/she appears to be interacting with people he/she knew in another time, but I am not sure where most of the action takes place. Is it in this time (15th c) or the other (21c). Maybe it's because I am trying to read this out of context, but if I am confused, other readers may also be.
"Well, Brother Samuel, I do not have all day. Aren't you here because you just served a penance for dallying? Do you need a further one? Have you learned nothing, Brother?" He rubbed the back of his neck." I think this is where my confusion begins...who is speaking? From the paragraph before, I might think it is Sylvester, but then, I presume from what follows it must have been Prior Richard. What is going on in this scene exactly. Is it meant to be mysterious or do I need to read it more than once?
I think you writing is evocative, but the sequencing in this piece feels off to me. Like I said, it might be that I am reading out of context, but I feel like you need a bit of editing to make it quite clear what is present and what is happening.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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Thank you formyouyr review. I am aware you arecoming oin cold with this. It began with my factual trip through England experience the power spots. There are 2 leys lines that run through England. When we visited the Glastonbury Tor, we waited in front of the Monastery ruins. When my friend read the history of the place, she said, 'We were here' So I thought it would be interesting to be vortexed into the past. If you want to scan through the previous chapters, you are welcome to go to my portfolio. There is no need to write a review, just enjoy. If you read the Author's notes, it clarifies most anything. If you just want to skip to the 15th century section you can begin as we are waiting to shuttle to the Glastonbury Tor. There is a psychic reaction to the town. Some horrible things happened there and to the monastery, soon to come in a few chapters. There are past life triggers.
Comment from lyenochka
A powerful ending! Yes, if God has forgiven, why the obsession with guilt and punishment? Prior Richard talks like a military officer. And the whole confession thing is used by North Koreans to control their society. I guess it's control, not a freedom to accept God's forgiveness that drives that Chapter of Faults.
I liked how Samuel was released from the fear of authority figures by the need to help someone. That shows a lot about the character of Samuel/Madeline. But I paused to think about "dropping several papers." At first, I thought about sheet paper but that didn't exist in the 15th century. Was it a combination of vellum and paper and usually in scrolls? I don't think they cut it into sheets until much later...
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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A powerful ending! Yes, if God has forgiven, why the obsession with guilt and punishment? Prior Richard talks like a military officer. And the whole confession thing is used by North Koreans to control their society. I guess it's control, not a freedom to accept God's forgiveness that drives that Chapter of Faults.
I liked how Samuel was released from the fear of authority figures by the need to help someone. That shows a lot about the character of Samuel/Madeline. But I paused to think about "dropping several papers." At first, I thought about sheet paper but that didn't exist in the 15th century. Was it a combination of vellum and paper and usually in scrolls? I don't think they cut it into sheets until much later...
Comment Written 22-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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You may be right. I should have him drop something else. They copied the scriptures, but that was in a book. His ledger was of course a book. I supposed I could have him drop his prayer beads. Thank you, I do not want to be inaccurate in the props in this era.
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Scrolls perhaps? Vellum? Parchment? any bookbinding utensils? I'm sure you'll come up with the right things!
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***a smile of confidence***
Comment from aryr
This was a great continuation chapter, Liz. It was so important to Brother Samuel to get over his/her phobia of her feet, of her heart and of her sense of doom. Brother Sylvester took care of that easily with the dropping of papers. Perhaps she/he is healed of that darn phobia. I noticed that she thinks Brother Sylvester is the reincarnation of Somara (you know what I am saying, lol). Great job.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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This was a great continuation chapter, Liz. It was so important to Brother Samuel to get over his/her phobia of her feet, of her heart and of her sense of doom. Brother Sylvester took care of that easily with the dropping of papers. Perhaps she/he is healed of that darn phobia. I noticed that she thinks Brother Sylvester is the reincarnation of Somara (you know what I am saying, lol). Great job.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your fun review. y 4 star gifter said my story is becoming rebarbative. I had to look it up. It reminded me of my father who would use a 'big' word and if we didn't know what he was meaning, he told us to look it up. So I did and it means irritating. I wanted to say to her, but of course I wouldn't, "You reviews are rebarbative." She has slowly revealed, she had a terrible childhood, is shunned by her family, is a recovering addict and possibly in an abusive relationship. Ooof.
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You are most welcome, Liz. Wow, that was astonishing, she can definitely do with a lot of help. I think I would have liked your father.
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He was a criminal defense lawyer. Most everyone thought he was great. They called him
'Jovial Joe'. That was one of his attractive characteristics I acquired from him. My mother was quietly sweet, another wonderful side of me.
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Wow, that was great, Liz.
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contentment
Comment from jessizero
I like that you wonder why they pay for their sins when Jesus already paid that fee. I continue to enjoy your work. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to more.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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I like that you wonder why they pay for their sins when Jesus already paid that fee. I continue to enjoy your work. Thank you for sharing, and I look forward to more.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your delightful review. I greatly appreciate it.
Comment from lancellot
Well written but I do wonder if it is appropriate for her now in a male body to continue to act so timid and afraid all the time. There is no anger, no will, no resentment, no courage, no testosterone.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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Well written but I do wonder if it is appropriate for her now in a male body to continue to act so timid and afraid all the time. There is no anger, no will, no resentment, no courage, no testosterone.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2022
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Good point, maybe I can have 'him' question that, because even as a woman, she can 'snap'. This is quite a fear based existence. I don't want to address some of the 'beatings' they historically got, in my book. Ooof. Thank goodness we only got tongue lashings in the 20th century.
The following is an account of punishments in the women's monastery. I saw about men somewhere but this is easiest to find: One letter of Shenute's prescribed the punishments of ten women from his monastery. For example, Tsophia received twenty blows on the bottoms of her feet with a stick for back talking and speaking hard heartedly, and more importantly, for striking the female Elder of the monastery in the face. Thensnoe received thirty blows because she was said to have "committed iniquities through wicked manners" and committed theft. Nothing too surprising here, corporal punishment was a mainstay of Late Antique punishment, and monasteries tended to be somewhat self-regulated communities. TaÍse received fifteen blows because it was said that she "runs in to Tsansnô in friendship and physical desire".