Interpretations For Consideration
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Last Descent"An Ekphrastic Poetry Collection for NaPoWriMo 2022
14 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Very cool poem. My kids have mangled many a Slinky! Grandkids too! Great Octogram...witty and pithy and smart! I think I may give this form a try!
Karenina
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Very cool poem. My kids have mangled many a Slinky! Grandkids too! Great Octogram...witty and pithy and smart! I think I may give this form a try!
Karenina
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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You should! I enjoyed playing around with it :)
Thanks for your feedback! Best wishes as always, Debra x
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It's on my to do form list...just have to chase the muse down!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Debra,
Ah, my dear, you did an outstanding job with this octogram, one of my favorite poetic forms. I'm so happy you tried it, and I hope to see more in the future.
I think the slinky was so popular back in the day because an inanimate object seemed to come to life. It was like personification played out with loops of metal. And it only stopped when the stairs ran out.
I noted you were off rhyme at one spot in the second verse ...
"I sent it on its last descent
with forceful thrust.
I wasn't careful, down it (dropped)
then bit the dust." ... easily repaired though
(I sent it on its last descent
with forceful thrust.
I wasn't careful, down it went
and bit the dust.)
Excellent pairing of poem to artwork! You did it! Thanks for sharing!
Big Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Hi Debra,
Ah, my dear, you did an outstanding job with this octogram, one of my favorite poetic forms. I'm so happy you tried it, and I hope to see more in the future.
I think the slinky was so popular back in the day because an inanimate object seemed to come to life. It was like personification played out with loops of metal. And it only stopped when the stairs ran out.
I noted you were off rhyme at one spot in the second verse ...
"I sent it on its last descent
with forceful thrust.
I wasn't careful, down it (dropped)
then bit the dust." ... easily repaired though
(I sent it on its last descent
with forceful thrust.
I wasn't careful, down it went
and bit the dust.)
Excellent pairing of poem to artwork! You did it! Thanks for sharing!
Big Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much for picking up the slip in rhyme, Kimbob! It's sorted now LOL - I actually just went back to my notebook, and I'd written 'went' not 'dropped' ....?? When I've typed it into the editor, my brain must've been shouting at me. 'alliteration, alliteration', because somehow I sneaked a 'dropped' in there instead of the 'went' I'd written!!
Thanks so much for your great feedback and generous stars - but mostly for introducing me to the Octogram - I love it!
Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from Gloria ....
Love the title here, as the thought of it being a slinky didn't even flash past my mind.
LOL, and what a fun Octogram, which I think is an inspired choice, given the subject matter.
Slinkys were a lot of fun, but they did tend to get busted.
Great job with this, Debra. Much enjoyed. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Love the title here, as the thought of it being a slinky didn't even flash past my mind.
LOL, and what a fun Octogram, which I think is an inspired choice, given the subject matter.
Slinkys were a lot of fun, but they did tend to get busted.
Great job with this, Debra. Much enjoyed. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Thanks so much, Gloria :) I enjoyed writing this one - the form is a lot of fun to play around with! Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from jessizero
Your use of the word "bust" made the English major in me cringe, but I guess you're trying to evoke the memories of childhood. You did a good job with that.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Your use of the word "bust" made the English major in me cringe, but I guess you're trying to evoke the memories of childhood. You did a good job with that.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Sorry for making you cringe, Jessi! Glad you enjoyed the read anyhow! Appreciate the feedback :) Best wishes, Debra
Comment from lyenochka
I saw that picture of a slinky and wondered what happened to it - it looks like a doodle gone wrong. Lol. But then your poem gave me the perfect reason using that octogram form! Great job!
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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I saw that picture of a slinky and wondered what happened to it - it looks like a doodle gone wrong. Lol. But then your poem gave me the perfect reason using that octogram form! Great job!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Thanks so much, Helen :) x
Comment from robyn corum
Debra,
I read it, I enjoyed it, I smiled. hee hee
I always love the octogram -- but then, I adored almost every single thing Sally Yocum did - said - wrote. Breathed, probably.
You completed the form beautifully, in a witty poem in tribute to a device we are all fully familiar with - one that works for approximately four minutes. But it sure is fun for those four minutes! Thanks a bunch!
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Debra,
I read it, I enjoyed it, I smiled. hee hee
I always love the octogram -- but then, I adored almost every single thing Sally Yocum did - said - wrote. Breathed, probably.
You completed the form beautifully, in a witty poem in tribute to a device we are all fully familiar with - one that works for approximately four minutes. But it sure is fun for those four minutes! Thanks a bunch!
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Thanks so much, Robyn :) Glad you enjoyed reading this one - I had fun writing it! Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Very amusing! I don't think the fault lies with your children! In our day, slinkys were robust, being made of high carbon steel. Now they are made of plastic... and just go to show that plastic isn't up to the job. Proof that the good old days really were good.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Very amusing! I don't think the fault lies with your children! In our day, slinkys were robust, being made of high carbon steel. Now they are made of plastic... and just go to show that plastic isn't up to the job. Proof that the good old days really were good.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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I completely agree! Plastic tat is not up to scratch....
Thank you for your feedback, Kate, I appreciate it :)
Best wishes, Debra x
Comment from juliaSjames
Lovely lighthearted octogram. I like the cadence of this rhythmic form. It seems tailormade to convey happiness. I remember the fun my grandkids had with slinkies when they were younger.
Your end rhymes are terrific, Debra. Skilfully written.
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Lovely lighthearted octogram. I like the cadence of this rhythmic form. It seems tailormade to convey happiness. I remember the fun my grandkids had with slinkies when they were younger.
Your end rhymes are terrific, Debra. Skilfully written.
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Hi Julia :)
Thank you for your feedback. I had fun writing this poem! Glad you enjoyed reading it :) Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An amazing piece of kit and you wrote a clever poem about them, a finely tuned Octogram Debra, perfectly formed and well rhymed, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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An amazing piece of kit and you wrote a clever poem about them, a finely tuned Octogram Debra, perfectly formed and well rhymed, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Dolly :)
Glad you enjoyed this one! Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I like your playful poem about a plaything. My children had them too, but we just could never get them to work that well - they'd go a couple of steps then stop. My fave line: then bit the dust. Don't they all:-)
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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I like your playful poem about a plaything. My children had them too, but we just could never get them to work that well - they'd go a couple of steps then stop. My fave line: then bit the dust. Don't they all:-)
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much, Pam, for your feedback :)
Best wishes as always, Debra x
