Precious Visit
500 words about faith22 total reviews
Comment from Sanku
it makes a lot of sense and your purpose comes out very clearly.The anger one felt at the loss of a sibling and the vey understandable question that why kill people for the sake of other people's greed is poignantly brought out .Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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it makes a lot of sense and your purpose comes out very clearly.The anger one felt at the loss of a sibling and the vey understandable question that why kill people for the sake of other people's greed is poignantly brought out .Well done.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the stars. They are appreciated.
Comment from Jay Squires
This is an amazing statement of personal faith, Shirley.
"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died." Shirley, if it's a quote within a quote (It is Jesus telling the story of Lazarus and Martha), then Martha's words should be single quotes, as, 'Lord,' Martha said to Jesus, 'if you had been here ... ]
"Martha blamed me for her brother's death, [Now this is accurate, since Jesus is again speaking to the narrator.]
Be at peace. Just remember you are never alone, and love surrounds you." [Since the next paragraph has the same speaker (Jesus), you eliminate the closed quote here.]
My eyes closed for a second, Jesus left. [Either have a period after "second", or, with no comma, add an "and", thus: "My eyes closed for a second and Jesus left."]
I love this piece. It should be among the winners.
Jay
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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This is an amazing statement of personal faith, Shirley.
"Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died." Shirley, if it's a quote within a quote (It is Jesus telling the story of Lazarus and Martha), then Martha's words should be single quotes, as, 'Lord,' Martha said to Jesus, 'if you had been here ... ]
"Martha blamed me for her brother's death, [Now this is accurate, since Jesus is again speaking to the narrator.]
Be at peace. Just remember you are never alone, and love surrounds you." [Since the next paragraph has the same speaker (Jesus), you eliminate the closed quote here.]
My eyes closed for a second, Jesus left. [Either have a period after "second", or, with no comma, add an "and", thus: "My eyes closed for a second and Jesus left."]
I love this piece. It should be among the winners.
Jay
Comment Written 19-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you Jay. I appreciate the help and the stars. I will get it corrected ASAP. Shirley
Comment from Tpa
My condolence on the passing of your love one.
Your words were so true. A time of grief for those left behind. Through your words and the Scripture, the sorrow of grief can only be lifted through faith of some day being united with our love ones.
Your work justified that with a poetic touch.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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My condolence on the passing of your love one.
Your words were so true. A time of grief for those left behind. Through your words and the Scripture, the sorrow of grief can only be lifted through faith of some day being united with our love ones.
Your work justified that with a poetic touch.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the extra star. It is appreciated. Shirley
Comment from Ideasaregems-Dawn
Wow, what a story! And yet, while it is fiction, followers of Christ swear to similar experiences, and I know I have felt His presence, and experienced peace like never before when I couldn't attend a funeral to say goodbye to a dear friend -- it was like she was there telling me she understood that I wanted to remember her as she was when we last visited.
Very well done! Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Wow, what a story! And yet, while it is fiction, followers of Christ swear to similar experiences, and I know I have felt His presence, and experienced peace like never before when I couldn't attend a funeral to say goodbye to a dear friend -- it was like she was there telling me she understood that I wanted to remember her as she was when we last visited.
Very well done! Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the kind words and stars. Your well wishes mean a lot. Shirley
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, sometimes when we suffer and lose someone close to us it's hard to understand that we just have to keep the faith, and remember that this life is only preparing for the next. Those who get away early, are only avoiding some of the heartaches we'll have to face while here. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Yes, sometimes when we suffer and lose someone close to us it's hard to understand that we just have to keep the faith, and remember that this life is only preparing for the next. Those who get away early, are only avoiding some of the heartaches we'll have to face while here. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you Ric for your kind words and the stars. You are appreciated. Shirley
Comment from Begin Again
What a beautiful story and a wonderful reminder of how our faith must remain strong even when darkness enters the room, The Lord is always with us if we believe. Terrific!
Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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What a beautiful story and a wonderful reminder of how our faith must remain strong even when darkness enters the room, The Lord is always with us if we believe. Terrific!
Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment Written 18-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much, Carol. I appreciate your kind words and the stars. Shirley
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry red well, Mary. It had smooth flow,
good dialogue, and a theme very much appropriate.
The image was a great choice too. The feelings expressed
in the story would be true for many. The outcome though
was perfect.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Your contest entry red well, Mary. It had smooth flow,
good dialogue, and a theme very much appropriate.
The image was a great choice too. The feelings expressed
in the story would be true for many. The outcome though
was perfect.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2022
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Thanks Jan for your kindness. I appreciate those stars. Shirley
Comment from Wendy G
Powerful and moving story. I suppose it is fiction, as it is in a Flash Fiction contest, but you have written it with understanding and insight. I think the last sentence would be better to be reworded to "This precious visitor changed me!" Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Powerful and moving story. I suppose it is fiction, as it is in a Flash Fiction contest, but you have written it with understanding and insight. I think the last sentence would be better to be reworded to "This precious visitor changed me!" Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the stars and kind words.
Comment from Zue65
It surely makes sense even if you cut it short. I enjoyed reading stories celebrating the goodness of God and the meaning of Resurrection for all Christians. You have a natural flair for storytelling. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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It surely makes sense even if you cut it short. I enjoyed reading stories celebrating the goodness of God and the meaning of Resurrection for all Christians. You have a natural flair for storytelling. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the stars and kind words.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I am so happy you had this visitation to ease your pain. When we are suddenly alone, it is very hard to keep the faith. I would suggest in this story that you separate what you say from what Jesus says into different paragraphs. It is a little confusing knowing who is speaking as this is written. Best wishes for the contest and for your certainty of seeing all those you love in God's kingdom.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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I am so happy you had this visitation to ease your pain. When we are suddenly alone, it is very hard to keep the faith. I would suggest in this story that you separate what you say from what Jesus says into different paragraphs. It is a little confusing knowing who is speaking as this is written. Best wishes for the contest and for your certainty of seeing all those you love in God's kingdom.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Carol. I will take care of separating it immediately. I appreciate the help and the stars.