Courtney Is Missing
A short story of a family's 3 kids & their dog.35 total reviews
Comment from pookietoo
A wonderful story. I really enjoyed reading it. I loved playing with dolls as a little girl, and yes, some boys like playing with dolls. Have a wonderful weekend.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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A wonderful story. I really enjoyed reading it. I loved playing with dolls as a little girl, and yes, some boys like playing with dolls. Have a wonderful weekend.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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Thank you, I love your comments.
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You are welcome!
Comment from jessizero
This was an interesting story. I wouldn't have wanted to cross Grace, either. Thanks for sharing this here, and keep up the good work. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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This was an interesting story. I wouldn't have wanted to cross Grace, either. Thanks for sharing this here, and keep up the good work. Best wishes.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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Thank you. I enjoy your posts very much.
Comment from irishauthorme
This is a good family story. You brought all your characters to life, and the addition of Leo added to the child of Grace.
Saw the confusion in Tony, not really his fault, but he reacted with childish jealousy typical of that type.
Liked your inference of reincarnation by grandaunt Thelma, and that she could see her relatives in Grace.
Good work,
irish
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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This is a good family story. You brought all your characters to life, and the addition of Leo added to the child of Grace.
Saw the confusion in Tony, not really his fault, but he reacted with childish jealousy typical of that type.
Liked your inference of reincarnation by grandaunt Thelma, and that she could see her relatives in Grace.
Good work,
irish
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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Thank you. My ideas for Grace have taken over what was meant to be a short story that has now started to grow, almost out of control.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Great story full of action and tension. I kept me reading every word. I did find a few little things. If you let me know these are corrected I will raise your stars to five. Enjoy your Friday.
All-American Girl�?�® doll(remove program generated spag)
With a stern look on her young face, Grace told him, "Listen, I know who you are. I know what you are about. If this ever happens again, you will be very, very sorry!"(seperate from below)
With a clear understanding of her threat, Tony nodded his head and almost said, "Yes mam."(separate from below)
He scurried down the hall to his room and locked the door. He thought to himself, "This girl is evil and she scares me." (I would put the last sentence in Italics because he is talking to himself in his head.)
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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Great story full of action and tension. I kept me reading every word. I did find a few little things. If you let me know these are corrected I will raise your stars to five. Enjoy your Friday.
All-American Girl�?�® doll(remove program generated spag)
With a stern look on her young face, Grace told him, "Listen, I know who you are. I know what you are about. If this ever happens again, you will be very, very sorry!"(seperate from below)
With a clear understanding of her threat, Tony nodded his head and almost said, "Yes mam."(separate from below)
He scurried down the hall to his room and locked the door. He thought to himself, "This girl is evil and she scares me." (I would put the last sentence in Italics because he is talking to himself in his head.)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Tpa
Again and with delight, I read another marvelous story of yours. This one had a little intrigued, intertwined with a small amount of mystery. I thought you were going in one direction, but when Grace came, you threw me a curve until the end. NICELY DONE.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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Again and with delight, I read another marvelous story of yours. This one had a little intrigued, intertwined with a small amount of mystery. I thought you were going in one direction, but when Grace came, you threw me a curve until the end. NICELY DONE.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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Thank you. Grace unexpectedly took over the story.
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
This short story is well written and deals with an important subject. I like the characters and wonder what will happen to Tony and Grace who seem set up to clash further. Because of this, I feel the story, as written, is the start of a longer piece. It doesn't stand on it's own; the situation is well set up and the conflict is introduced, but there is no resolution so the reader is left wondering what will happen next.
I found only a couple of line edits to suggest:
. "and masculine, he was all boy." The last section needs to be a separate sentence OR the comma after masculine needs to be a semi-colon.
. "She also like that she could design certain" This she refers back to the doll, but I think you mean it to be Grace.
. "Dressing them, brushing, and combing their hair." This is sentence fragment.
. "some of her older relatives had already said that it seems like she has been here before. " this sentence isn't needed. Aunt's comment says it all! There should be more of these delicious quotes/dialogue.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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This short story is well written and deals with an important subject. I like the characters and wonder what will happen to Tony and Grace who seem set up to clash further. Because of this, I feel the story, as written, is the start of a longer piece. It doesn't stand on it's own; the situation is well set up and the conflict is introduced, but there is no resolution so the reader is left wondering what will happen next.
I found only a couple of line edits to suggest:
. "and masculine, he was all boy." The last section needs to be a separate sentence OR the comma after masculine needs to be a semi-colon.
. "She also like that she could design certain" This she refers back to the doll, but I think you mean it to be Grace.
. "Dressing them, brushing, and combing their hair." This is sentence fragment.
. "some of her older relatives had already said that it seems like she has been here before. " this sentence isn't needed. Aunt's comment says it all! There should be more of these delicious quotes/dialogue.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your comments.
Comment from Ric Myworld
It takes all kinds to make the world go around, good, bad, and different. You did a great job of building your characters. They say we are creatures of our environments, and most times, I believe their is lots of truth to that statement. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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It takes all kinds to make the world go around, good, bad, and different. You did a great job of building your characters. They say we are creatures of our environments, and most times, I believe their is lots of truth to that statement. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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It's cool. Thank you for a very nice review. I enjoyed your comments.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is all at once intriguing and interesting to read but I found the plot confusing and whether Tony was gender fluid or not wasn't clear. The plot seemed to head in different directions and although it was enjoyable to read I felt a little let down at the ending of this story. I appreciate the large print size and that made it easier to read. Perhaps if you explained in your author's notes the theme of the piece I would have understood it better.
Thank you for sharing and letting me be honest in my response.
Jesse
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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This is all at once intriguing and interesting to read but I found the plot confusing and whether Tony was gender fluid or not wasn't clear. The plot seemed to head in different directions and although it was enjoyable to read I felt a little let down at the ending of this story. I appreciate the large print size and that made it easier to read. Perhaps if you explained in your author's notes the theme of the piece I would have understood it better.
Thank you for sharing and letting me be honest in my response.
Jesse
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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As always I appreciate honesty. Kind and empty words do not foster growth. I will take into serious consideration all that you have written.
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You make a good point, my friend.
Thank you for accepting my critique graciously.
Jesse
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This might be fiction, but what a great story, it could make a great novel. A girl who'd lived before. If you don't take it up, I will!!!! Lol. I loved this, it was so well written and had me glued to see what would happen to poor Tony. Brillian, Nomi!! Have a wonder Easter, my friend. Love Sandra xx
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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This might be fiction, but what a great story, it could make a great novel. A girl who'd lived before. If you don't take it up, I will!!!! Lol. I loved this, it was so well written and had me glued to see what would happen to poor Tony. Brillian, Nomi!! Have a wonder Easter, my friend. Love Sandra xx
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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Thank you Sandra. In my experience, there have always been that one particular child that seems to possess an air about them that suggests they are different from most children their age. That they know things they perhaps have not lived long enough to know or be aware of.
Comment from karenina
What I found endearing about the story is that "A little child shall lead them."--Isaiah 11:6
Grace, (aptly named) stands front and center in this story...
As a family adapts to a gender fluid son, the more typically presented " macho" son...and Grace instinctively picks up on Tony's internal conflict.
For me, the charm of the story was you did NOT tie it all up in a bow...
You offered us a vignette and gifted us with the ability to ponder how we might react...and how delicate a balance raising a family can be!
I saw Tony's burial of Courtney as a symbolic effort to hide those parts of him that made him question his gender identity...
Grace, an "old soul"--granted Tony respite...
I'm left thinking there is enough love on this family to embrace all!
Blessings on a timely and compassionate write!
Karenina
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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What I found endearing about the story is that "A little child shall lead them."--Isaiah 11:6
Grace, (aptly named) stands front and center in this story...
As a family adapts to a gender fluid son, the more typically presented " macho" son...and Grace instinctively picks up on Tony's internal conflict.
For me, the charm of the story was you did NOT tie it all up in a bow...
You offered us a vignette and gifted us with the ability to ponder how we might react...and how delicate a balance raising a family can be!
I saw Tony's burial of Courtney as a symbolic effort to hide those parts of him that made him question his gender identity...
Grace, an "old soul"--granted Tony respite...
I'm left thinking there is enough love on this family to embrace all!
Blessings on a timely and compassionate write!
Karenina
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2022
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Your assessment is by far the most balanced and intelligent review I have ever received. It is as if you looked into my mindset and saw exactly what I intended. Most of my reviewers did not see, perhaps could not see. Thank you so much.
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Thanks, my friend. Everyone interprets things differently... I saw, in Grace, the
personification of empathy! Loved this.
