Tormented
Free verse22 total reviews
Comment from juliaSjames
"As the tide of sleep and dream receded
All that left was sediments of bitterness
Even in my dreams I couldn't grasp you."
Love this ending.
I think you responded really well to the challenge. The mermaid yelling at the waves made me giggle.
Thanks for sharing
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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"As the tide of sleep and dream receded
All that left was sediments of bitterness
Even in my dreams I couldn't grasp you."
Love this ending.
I think you responded really well to the challenge. The mermaid yelling at the waves made me giggle.
Thanks for sharing
Stay safe and blessed
Julia
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.I am glad Youenjoyed my poem
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
This is a powerful metaphor! Kudos to crediting Poe for the inspiration. You did a masterful work with the metaphor. Stunning imagery and lovely assonance.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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This is a powerful metaphor! Kudos to crediting Poe for the inspiration. You did a masterful work with the metaphor. Stunning imagery and lovely assonance.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Most of the time I view waves as hugging the shore, but sometimes the seas/oceans for some reason are angry. Not sure why, but then they would almost bully the shores. I really enjoyed reading your club entry.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Most of the time I view waves as hugging the shore, but sometimes the seas/oceans for some reason are angry. Not sure why, but then they would almost bully the shores. I really enjoyed reading your club entry.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much
Comment from Karen Alexandra
This is an emotive piece and invites you partake in the turmoil of thoughts which evoke fear, anger and frustration. It is easy to follow and reference to dreaming comes as the sea releases its hold so fits in perfectly. The art work is lovely and makes an obvious link to the subject. Well done and thank you for submitting this for review. Karen
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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This is an emotive piece and invites you partake in the turmoil of thoughts which evoke fear, anger and frustration. It is easy to follow and reference to dreaming comes as the sea releases its hold so fits in perfectly. The art work is lovely and makes an obvious link to the subject. Well done and thank you for submitting this for review. Karen
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Carlos' girl
I like that you made this under water (?) And a mermaid (?).and maybe these things could be starfish and not stars..
It's all in the eyes of the author. Not to be confused w Edgar Allen the poet
. Hence the author's notes.
Very interesting.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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I like that you made this under water (?) And a mermaid (?).and maybe these things could be starfish and not stars..
It's all in the eyes of the author. Not to be confused w Edgar Allen the poet
. Hence the author's notes.
Very interesting.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
So you accepted Jan's challenge. I couldn't see clearly the picture and resisted. Now, I can thanks to you. That said, what is so bad about being a mermaid? Never met one who wasn't content. Life is what we make it.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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So you accepted Jan's challenge. I couldn't see clearly the picture and resisted. Now, I can thanks to you. That said, what is so bad about being a mermaid? Never met one who wasn't content. Life is what we make it.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Nothing is bad about mermaid. Thank you very much .
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The surf kissing the shore is a fine scene to watch and always fills me with awe as I allow the waves to cover my toes, I am sorry to hear that the surf was a torment here leaving sediments of bitterness, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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The surf kissing the shore is a fine scene to watch and always fills me with awe as I allow the waves to cover my toes, I am sorry to hear that the surf was a torment here leaving sediments of bitterness, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for stopping by.
Comment from dragonpoet
Sanku,
This poem shows the way dreams take things from what is happening in the real world. This seems like a nightmare about the losing of the one you love.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Sanku,
This poem shows the way dreams take things from what is happening in the real world. This seems like a nightmare about the losing of the one you love.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.
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You're very welcome,Sanku.
Joan
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a really good interpretation of that picture, Sanku. It sounds like you were having a nightmare, trying so hard to catch him, but as always, he alludes you. I enjoyed reading this, my friend. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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That was a really good interpretation of that picture, Sanku. It sounds like you were having a nightmare, trying so hard to catch him, but as always, he alludes you. I enjoyed reading this, my friend. Well done!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much .many times I have dreamt that I am trying to run but my legs won't move!This poemcame from that.
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That really is scary. :(( xx
Comment from E. Denison
Sanku - what a descriptive entry for the picture this club. I like the narrative in this brief work, and I think the free verse format is appropriate here. I think the reflection of Poe's work stands firmly on its own, so you could remove the quotes if you like. Those familiar with Poe will understand and those not will become educated by your author's notes. If you do leave the quotes, I would probably use either double quotes or single quotes; on my end right now it looks like there is one of each bookending the reference. Very small suggestions here though. This is well thought out and presented. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Sanku - what a descriptive entry for the picture this club. I like the narrative in this brief work, and I think the free verse format is appropriate here. I think the reflection of Poe's work stands firmly on its own, so you could remove the quotes if you like. Those familiar with Poe will understand and those not will become educated by your author's notes. If you do leave the quotes, I would probably use either double quotes or single quotes; on my end right now it looks like there is one of each bookending the reference. Very small suggestions here though. This is well thought out and presented. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for this detailed review. It was an oversight ,those single and double quotes. I put the quotes mainly because I don't want to be accused of stealing an idea.
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Completely understandable. Great job with this one again - a good read!
