Tormented
Free verse22 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great write for this dreams challenge Sanku.
I was alone but for the mocking hiss of the waves
Loved that line, and the
sediments of bitternessvery descriptive poem, well written. Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Great write for this dreams challenge Sanku.
I was alone but for the mocking hiss of the waves
Loved that line, and the
sediments of bitternessvery descriptive poem, well written. Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 20-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Your alliteration of the repetition of s's is very effective. We can hear the surf, the wind and the waves. Interesting wordplay:
"I surfaced on to the "surf tormented shore" Your personification will draw the reader in. Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Your alliteration of the repetition of s's is very effective. We can hear the surf, the wind and the waves. Interesting wordplay:
"I surfaced on to the "surf tormented shore" Your personification will draw the reader in. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.I am sorry my reply is delayed
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I just work on them as they come. I usually have 20 promised reviews so I don't keep track of who gets back to me or when. Thank you for getting back to me.
Comment from royowen
I just love your use of metaphor, the framework of poetry is probably dependent on these examples of illustration, Jesus used parables as great imagery for illustrating His great skills as a teacher, another great book is Job. Beautifully written Sanku, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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I just love your use of metaphor, the framework of poetry is probably dependent on these examples of illustration, Jesus used parables as great imagery for illustrating His great skills as a teacher, another great book is Job. Beautifully written Sanku, blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for the encouragement.
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Welcome
Comment from Heather Burroughs
Your free verse poem is beautiful and sad all at the same time. It is well written and flows nicely. Best of luck with the upcoming contest. Many blessings to you
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Your free verse poem is beautiful and sad all at the same time. It is well written and flows nicely. Best of luck with the upcoming contest. Many blessings to you
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
When you feel tormented, this is the state and status of your manifestation, as if you lose everything and nothing grips within you, but true love can feel and grasp everything; well said, well done; post god speed more; positively encouraging editing, negatively not wording, forgiving errors of theist-good authors-writers. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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When you feel tormented, this is the state and status of your manifestation, as if you lose everything and nothing grips within you, but true love can feel and grasp everything; well said, well done; post god speed more; positively encouraging editing, negatively not wording, forgiving errors of theist-good authors-writers. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from karenina
It is "A Dream Within a Dream" -- His poem.
The line begins: "I stand amid the roar/ of a surf-tormented shore..."
It's one of my favorites, of his work...
Nice integration of his line into your free verse...
Killer closing line!
Karenina
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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It is "A Dream Within a Dream" -- His poem.
The line begins: "I stand amid the roar/ of a surf-tormented shore..."
It's one of my favorites, of his work...
Nice integration of his line into your free verse...
Killer closing line!
Karenina
Comment Written 14-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for telling me this. I remembered the line but was unable to recall the name of the poem. I will google and read it again.
Thank you very much for the encouragement.The picture looked as if she is inside a sea. I have this recurrent dream of wanting to run but my legs won't move. Then I wake up and there is a huge relief that it was only a dream. The funny thing is that I never remember from what I was running away ..
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It's worth another read...and yes, your image seemed tailor made for your poem!
As a child I had a recurring nightmare...
A giant was chasing me...
I could see his booted feet and huge hands trying to grasp me...
I could never see his face!
I'd love to know the reason for such dreams!
Comment from Boogienights
This is beautifully written and very sad. It speaks of failed dreams and lost love, set against the backdrop of the sea. I love Poe, he is my favorite poet. Thank you for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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This is beautifully written and very sad. It speaks of failed dreams and lost love, set against the backdrop of the sea. I love Poe, he is my favorite poet. Thank you for sharing. :)
Comment Written 14-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I like your unique approach to your club poem, Sanku.
Your them is well expressed with great thought. I could
see this as I read. I like what the mermaid said--even in
the dream.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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I like your unique approach to your club poem, Sanku.
Your them is well expressed with great thought. I could
see this as I read. I like what the mermaid said--even in
the dream.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Tank you very much for your kind encouraging words
Comment from nomi338
For me the idea of torture is anything that first entices action, then strongly denies my ability to reach or achieve the goal I was enticed to seek. Dreams, I believe, are a perfect vehicle for this type of torment.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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For me the idea of torture is anything that first entices action, then strongly denies my ability to reach or achieve the goal I was enticed to seek. Dreams, I believe, are a perfect vehicle for this type of torment.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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So true.Thank you very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from lyenochka
Wow. This is really six-worthy! This is so full of powerful emotion - the sense of longing and fighting against the waves to keep close to the loved one. The allusion to Poe's line is wonderful. ( By the way, you used two different types of quotes in "surf tormented shore') I also like the allusion to Hans Christian Andersen's mermaid who could not hold on to her prince and ended as sea foam after her self-sacrifice.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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Wow. This is really six-worthy! This is so full of powerful emotion - the sense of longing and fighting against the waves to keep close to the loved one. The allusion to Poe's line is wonderful. ( By the way, you used two different types of quotes in "surf tormented shore') I also like the allusion to Hans Christian Andersen's mermaid who could not hold on to her prince and ended as sea foam after her self-sacrifice.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2022
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WoW! I am thrilled to hear that another allusion has crept into my poem unaware .I have not read that story .Grim's fairy tales was very popular in India when we were children WE used to get the malayalam translation of his stories.
Actually half of it is about my personal experience. I have a recurrent dream in which I want to run but my legs won't move .I struggle and struggle but of no avail .Sometimes I am writing an exam and my hands won't move. I get up and realise it was only a dream .The funny thing is that i never remember from what I am running. The picture looked as if she is surrounded by water..
Thank you very much for the encouraging review. Hope your mother has come home.Where are you now?
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I'll message you! I was starting to type a novel. Lol.
