War on Flies
My younger brother and his fly paper misadventure.5 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Your story gave the opportunity to imagine you both, and all your escapades, along with the story of getting the fly paper stuck on him. Nicely written, enjoyable read.
Wendy
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022
Your story gave the opportunity to imagine you both, and all your escapades, along with the story of getting the fly paper stuck on him. Nicely written, enjoyable read.
Wendy
Comment Written 11-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022
-
Thank you for taking the time to read and provide feedback. Appreciated.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Nice entry for the Use This Sentence contest.
Your story brought memories of the messy fly paper.
You did a good job with the challenge. I wish much luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
Nice entry for the Use This Sentence contest.
Your story brought memories of the messy fly paper.
You did a good job with the challenge. I wish much luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
-
Thanks for taking the time to read and provide feedback.
Comment from prettybluebirds
I remember that fly paper and the mess it can make. I had some in the horse barn and somehow it got stuck in one of the horse's tail. It took a while to get him calm enough so I could get it out. Nice story.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
I remember that fly paper and the mess it can make. I had some in the horse barn and somehow it got stuck in one of the horse's tail. It took a while to get him calm enough so I could get it out. Nice story.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
-
I ask my grandchildren if they knew what fly paper was and they thought it was paper from one could make a kite. Your horse barn experience is interesting, might be worth a story. Thanks for your feedback. Appreciated.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
It sounds like your brother was a little active. A fly sticker is good for catching flies, we also used them. Growing up and being full of the dickens can bring some excitement to a family for sure.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
It sounds like your brother was a little active. A fly sticker is good for catching flies, we also used them. Growing up and being full of the dickens can bring some excitement to a family for sure.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
-
Yes, he was, as my mom would say, "quite the dickens." He became a successful dentist. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a great story. I enjoyed it very much
- excellent, unforced pace
- good flow
- language in good keeping with the subject , and adequately varied
SPAG for your consideration:
waving people riding > waving to people riding
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
This is a great story. I enjoyed it very much
- excellent, unforced pace
- good flow
- language in good keeping with the subject , and adequately varied
SPAG for your consideration:
waving people riding > waving to people riding
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
-
Thanks for the read and feedback and for catching the spag. I will edit.