Hello Stranger Goodbye Friend
Losing a friend to dementia31 total reviews
Comment from kahpot
Dementia is such a terrible disease taking a lifetime of memories from a person while leaving a lifetime of confusion and sadness for those they have forgotten, I really enjoyed that you put some poetry in with your prose, your poems were excellent and gave the reader your sense of loss, very well written****kahpot
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Dementia is such a terrible disease taking a lifetime of memories from a person while leaving a lifetime of confusion and sadness for those they have forgotten, I really enjoyed that you put some poetry in with your prose, your poems were excellent and gave the reader your sense of loss, very well written****kahpot
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
Comment from Mike Stevens
An excellent write, Jesse--and how well I know what you're going through; my Dad's suffering from some form of dementia and is in a long-term care facilty. I can vouch for the power of music, it brings him alive. It's a terrible thing to have to deal with. I wish you and your friend the best in dealing with it.
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An excellent write, Jesse--and how well I know what you're going through; my Dad's suffering from some form of dementia and is in a long-term care facilty. I can vouch for the power of music, it brings him alive. It's a terrible thing to have to deal with. I wish you and your friend the best in dealing with it.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
This is a well written piece. I appreciate your honesty and courage to express your feelings so openly. I lost my dad to dementia, so I know first hand the toll it takes on your emotionally. Find your strength.
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This is a well written piece. I appreciate your honesty and courage to express your feelings so openly. I lost my dad to dementia, so I know first hand the toll it takes on your emotionally. Find your strength.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
Comment from Ulla
Hi Jesse, I know this is hard for you and you you've expressed yourself so very well in this piece of mixed prose and poetry.
Dementia, Alzheimer's is a terrible beast where the personality of a dear one, a friend gets eaten away.
My daughter's father remarried a much younger woman, after our divorce. We both liked each other and managed to become friends. She being a lovely woman, and very intelligent all added to her personality. Then disaster struck when she got Alzheimer's at the age of 56. Now, six years later, she doesn't recognise anyone and has ended up in a home where she will be well cared for the last few years of her life.
She was an editor of as broadsheet and wrote a few well acclaimed non-fiction books. One time, during the early days, she said to me: 'Ulla, the worst thing is that my brain is dying, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.'
Yes, John, I understand what you're saying. Ulla:)))
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Hi Jesse, I know this is hard for you and you you've expressed yourself so very well in this piece of mixed prose and poetry.
Dementia, Alzheimer's is a terrible beast where the personality of a dear one, a friend gets eaten away.
My daughter's father remarried a much younger woman, after our divorce. We both liked each other and managed to become friends. She being a lovely woman, and very intelligent all added to her personality. Then disaster struck when she got Alzheimer's at the age of 56. Now, six years later, she doesn't recognise anyone and has ended up in a home where she will be well cared for the last few years of her life.
She was an editor of as broadsheet and wrote a few well acclaimed non-fiction books. One time, during the early days, she said to me: 'Ulla, the worst thing is that my brain is dying, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.'
Yes, John, I understand what you're saying. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
Comment from aryr
Wow, you did great with your composition regarding dementia. I totally agree with what you wrote and I personally thought the poem was an amazing touch. The only thing worse than dementia is Alzheimer's because it is a double death condition-first they forget family and friends, then they die, usually many years after they forget the ones they love. Great job, thank you for making people aware.
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Wow, you did great with your composition regarding dementia. I totally agree with what you wrote and I personally thought the poem was an amazing touch. The only thing worse than dementia is Alzheimer's because it is a double death condition-first they forget family and friends, then they die, usually many years after they forget the ones they love. Great job, thank you for making people aware.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Dementia is a horrible disease. I've watched my grandma and my dad live with it. My prayers are with you and your friend.
It holds up your emotions for ransom and steals your heart. (This is a strong sentence, and should be I feel it will have more impact if you omit 'up')
Unsure who to trust, his 'brain fog' clouds his thinking so that when he listens to his (You can omit 'that')
My life is uncertain and knowing that it will only get worse and that one day he may not remember me is crazymaking and hard to deal with and discovering that I can see beyond the present doesn't make it any easier. (You can omit all the 'that's in all of these sentences.)
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
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Dementia is a horrible disease. I've watched my grandma and my dad live with it. My prayers are with you and your friend.
It holds up your emotions for ransom and steals your heart. (This is a strong sentence, and should be I feel it will have more impact if you omit 'up')
Unsure who to trust, his 'brain fog' clouds his thinking so that when he listens to his (You can omit 'that')
My life is uncertain and knowing that it will only get worse and that one day he may not remember me is crazymaking and hard to deal with and discovering that I can see beyond the present doesn't make it any easier. (You can omit all the 'that's in all of these sentences.)
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Barbara, for those great suggestions of omitting some of the words that are not necessary to the essay. I realize I use the word 'that' much too often.
Your encouraging and helpful review made me want to answer you right away.
I appreciate your help.
Have a wonderful weekend,
Jesse
Comment from NANCY V. FORREST
Your dilemma touches my heart. I went through that process with my mother. Every case is different, but all you can do is be there and hold the pieces for him as long as it is possible. Your mixed media piece is evocative of the process we go through as we see the coming loss.
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Your dilemma touches my heart. I went through that process with my mother. Every case is different, but all you can do is be there and hold the pieces for him as long as it is possible. Your mixed media piece is evocative of the process we go through as we see the coming loss.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
Comment from karenina
Jesse,
You've done a fine job here, arcing the pendulum from dementia's effect on your best friend and swinging it back to the profound effect it is having on you.
Your integration of poetry with prose is fluid and poignant and beautifully expressed.
Part of self care is expression of the worry, anger, frustration, loss and love... This is why I think it is so important for you to write it out...
My grandmom, who sadly, developed Alzheimer's, used to tell me: "What we cannot cure we must endure."
Little did she know how often that would come in to my mind as I cared for her as she cognitively slipped away.
When all the words are gone, your friend will respond to love...
Meet him where he is. Listen attentively, even if he is confused... Speak to him gently and with dignity.
Dementia affects everyone involved...
It's a long slow path of a thousand goodbyes...
Treasure each lucid moment! They will come and go...
Your best insight is that you must first take care of yourself! Your dear friend, pre-dementia, would never want to see you compromised.
Lastly, remember you have a family of fellow writers who deeply care for you. You shall not face this alone!
Karenina
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
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Jesse,
You've done a fine job here, arcing the pendulum from dementia's effect on your best friend and swinging it back to the profound effect it is having on you.
Your integration of poetry with prose is fluid and poignant and beautifully expressed.
Part of self care is expression of the worry, anger, frustration, loss and love... This is why I think it is so important for you to write it out...
My grandmom, who sadly, developed Alzheimer's, used to tell me: "What we cannot cure we must endure."
Little did she know how often that would come in to my mind as I cared for her as she cognitively slipped away.
When all the words are gone, your friend will respond to love...
Meet him where he is. Listen attentively, even if he is confused... Speak to him gently and with dignity.
Dementia affects everyone involved...
It's a long slow path of a thousand goodbyes...
Treasure each lucid moment! They will come and go...
Your best insight is that you must first take care of yourself! Your dear friend, pre-dementia, would never want to see you compromised.
Lastly, remember you have a family of fellow writers who deeply care for you. You shall not face this alone!
Karenina
Comment Written 08-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
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Thanks, Karenina! I needed all these words to help me through this. Your advice and comfort are extremely helpful to me. I will treasure the lucid moments and cherish his good-naturedness. Several readers have told me that music is wonderfully bonding whenever we talk about it or listen to it. So, I have already had a discussion with him and found we both love the same kinds of music and so we will be listening to more music in the future.
I will also remember my fellow writers knowing that they care deeply for me.
On FS I am never alone!
You are a good friend, Karenina!
Thanks for everything!
Jesse
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I am a message away my friend...
Anytime!
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Thanks, Karenina! You are a great friend!
Jesse
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello JJ, Dimentia is a horrific disease for both the person who has it and for the people who love them--it's a double edged sword. Your story is heartfelt, and your pain and loss is evident. All that you can do is be there for your friend as much as you can. You ask ... And how do I prepare for his leaving altogether as he says he will do one day? JJ, take it a day at a time. Each day is a gift. A story from the heart. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
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Hello JJ, Dimentia is a horrific disease for both the person who has it and for the people who love them--it's a double edged sword. Your story is heartfelt, and your pain and loss is evident. All that you can do is be there for your friend as much as you can. You ask ... And how do I prepare for his leaving altogether as he says he will do one day? JJ, take it a day at a time. Each day is a gift. A story from the heart. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 08-Apr-2022
Comment from Gloria ....
I personally think prose mix beautifully, and you have written some unique and emotional words here.
I have seen people completely transformed by dementia and it is truly heartbreaking.
You are a good friend to have, so you find a way through a most difficult transformation.
Many thanks for sharing. :))
Gloria
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I personally think prose mix beautifully, and you have written some unique and emotional words here.
I have seen people completely transformed by dementia and it is truly heartbreaking.
You are a good friend to have, so you find a way through a most difficult transformation.
Many thanks for sharing. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 08-Apr-2022
