The Tor
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Whaat... No Coffee ?"Adventures around & upon a hill
11 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow, that must have been an arduous, cheerless time to be consigned to a monastery. You draw it up so vividly, though, and in such detail and in contrast to the 1950s.
As I was reading, I only came across one point I would draw your attention to:
with a senior monk between any of us, from the same set. [I don't believe you want the comma after "us". With it there it implies the monk is the one "from the same set" rather than one of the tempted laity.]
Dim in my ancestry, there was a "Squires" who ministered in an English Parish during the reign of "Bloody Mary". Proclamation gave him the option to divorce or to be removed as his Parish minister. All I had to go by were the parish records at that time that Thomas Squires was no longer minister of that Parish. Perusal of the reign of "Bloody Mary" uncovered the above-mentioned proclamation. Connected to his "retirement", or not, marriage records also showed at that time that Thomas Squires became divorced, and children were born from his second wife. Sorry for this little aside, Liz.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
  |
Wow, that must have been an arduous, cheerless time to be consigned to a monastery. You draw it up so vividly, though, and in such detail and in contrast to the 1950s.
As I was reading, I only came across one point I would draw your attention to:
with a senior monk between any of us, from the same set. [I don't believe you want the comma after "us". With it there it implies the monk is the one "from the same set" rather than one of the tempted laity.]
Dim in my ancestry, there was a "Squires" who ministered in an English Parish during the reign of "Bloody Mary". Proclamation gave him the option to divorce or to be removed as his Parish minister. All I had to go by were the parish records at that time that Thomas Squires was no longer minister of that Parish. Perusal of the reign of "Bloody Mary" uncovered the above-mentioned proclamation. Connected to his "retirement", or not, marriage records also showed at that time that Thomas Squires became divorced, and children were born from his second wife. Sorry for this little aside, Liz.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2022
-
The monks were suspected of being 'naughty' so needed to be supervised. I think it was a homophobic thing. I love asides like this. It is fun to discover ancestry stuff. I guess we're rwlated to the guy who set Savanah afire.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Interesting insider observations about his life including things he does and does not enjoy.
Last line indicates he has learned his lesson about never being late for prayers again.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
|
Interesting insider observations about his life including things he does and does not enjoy.
Last line indicates he has learned his lesson about never being late for prayers again.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
-
Thank you for your interested review. It is difficult coming in cold. If you are interested, it is about a real trip to England but tweaked to go 'Twilight Zone ish' The first 18 chapters are about the power spots we visited, along with a crop circle. All with discussion about the Michael & Mary ley lines. This was building up to an idea of a sense we'd gotten, that we'd been there before. There were some pretty horrible things that happened. So I decided to write about them. You are welcome to scan through my portfolio to read any chapters leading up to this chapter. No need for a review, just enjoy.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of your work reminisces a protagonist priest in training being droned as she undergoes penance within the specified hours of the night and day.
The work highlights the protagonist trainee and her fellow trainees as operate within specified rules of Benedict; fully conscious of the fact that any attachment to things on earth, most especially food would mean a failed and thwarted penance.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of regulatory anecdotes that make for holiness.
Excellent work. Bravo.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
|
The objective correlative of your work reminisces a protagonist priest in training being droned as she undergoes penance within the specified hours of the night and day.
The work highlights the protagonist trainee and her fellow trainees as operate within specified rules of Benedict; fully conscious of the fact that any attachment to things on earth, most especially food would mean a failed and thwarted penance.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of regulatory anecdotes that make for holiness.
Excellent work. Bravo.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
-
Thank you for your supportive review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. If you want to you can visit my portfolio to catch any previous chapters. There is no need for a review, just 'enjoy'
-
Thanks for the gift and your warm embrace from a distance. Remain Blessed.
-
hugs back
Comment from Thatguypk
This is the first time I've come across this novel, but while I'm a bit lost, the writing and the subject are both of a high standard and would encourage me to go back and read more.
PK
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
|
This is the first time I've come across this novel, but while I'm a bit lost, the writing and the subject are both of a high standard and would encourage me to go back and read more.
PK
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
-
Thank you for your interested review. It is difficult coming in cold. If you are interested, it is about a real trip to England but tweaked to go 'Twilight Zone ish' The first 18 chapters are about the power spots we visited, along with a crop circle. All with discussion about the Michael & Mary ley lines. This was building up to an idea of a sense we'd gotten, that we'd been there before. There were some pretty horrible things that happened. So I decided to write about them. You are welcome to scan through my portfolio to read any chapters leading up to this chapter. No need for a review, just enjoy.
-
Thank you for the details. I'll certainly be reading more. :-)
-
***smile***
Comment from prettybluebirds
It doesn't sound like a place I would care to be. Just the lack of coffee would drive me over the edge. I enjoyed reading this story and got a good laugh out of it. It is well done and I didn't spot any errors.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022
|
It doesn't sound like a place I would care to be. Just the lack of coffee would drive me over the edge. I enjoyed reading this story and got a good laugh out of it. It is well done and I didn't spot any errors.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022
-
Thank you for your delightful review. I agree when you say, "just the lack of coffee would drive me over the edge." me too. Good thing this was before I knew about good coffee.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I find this description from Madeline's point of view, of a day in the life of a monk, very interesting and well written, Liz. I do have a few suggestions though.
"As I sit down for supper, there was a wooden plate..." suggestion: I see a wooden plate..."
"(There is hot) water for some herbal tea, looking like wet seaweed in my wooden cup." - without "there is", the sentence is incomplete.
"or repulsed by(,) something," - this comma is unnecessary.
"We just have to make sure, we draw no closer, than approximately five feet, from " - up to this point none of the commas are needed.
"and a pillow on an identical mat-covered board as I banged into, searching the original room." Suggestion for clarity: and a pillow on an mat-covered board, identical to the one I banged into, while searching the original room.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
|
I find this description from Madeline's point of view, of a day in the life of a monk, very interesting and well written, Liz. I do have a few suggestions though.
"As I sit down for supper, there was a wooden plate..." suggestion: I see a wooden plate..."
"(There is hot) water for some herbal tea, looking like wet seaweed in my wooden cup." - without "there is", the sentence is incomplete.
"or repulsed by(,) something," - this comma is unnecessary.
"We just have to make sure, we draw no closer, than approximately five feet, from " - up to this point none of the commas are needed.
"and a pillow on an identical mat-covered board as I banged into, searching the original room." Suggestion for clarity: and a pillow on an mat-covered board, identical to the one I banged into, while searching the original room.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
-
Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you are enjoying it. Tell me, if I want to say "We just have to make sure, we draw no closer, than approximately five feet, with caution, a warning, should I put ... instead of commas?
Would "We just have to make sure...we draw no closer...than approximately five feet,
Some of the others, I struggled over...very awkward...you've cleared them up for me. Thank you.
-
You're welcome, Liz. The sentence you are asking about is perfect with just no commas, until the end of the part I quoted. The comma after that and any others are good. No ...s :)
-
thank you...good to have such support
-
:))
Comment from dellsworthpoet
The story continues. I am enjoying this.The romance of former ages pales when we see the actual living conditions.
The images are strong. The piece stays on point. The directness of the writing adds to the severity of the setting.
You might enjoy the books of Michael Jenks who does murder mysteries located in the medieval in England.
Thanks for the good read.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
|
The story continues. I am enjoying this.The romance of former ages pales when we see the actual living conditions.
The images are strong. The piece stays on point. The directness of the writing adds to the severity of the setting.
You might enjoy the books of Michael Jenks who does murder mysteries located in the medieval in England.
Thanks for the good read.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2022
-
Thank you fpor your insightful review. You are right. I've encountered that on here with some in denial that the monks, nor nuns or teaching sisters don't spend all days singing in heavenly bliss. I am pleased you get it. I will check out Michael Jenks. We watched a horrendous dark movie called The Name of the Rose about monks dying from poisoned ink as they were to copy certain books. Very dark. I could figure that into my book, but I probably am okay without it. lol
-
The Name of the Rose is a 1980 book with very dense and heavy prose. Covers a lot of areas from science to religion. I couldn't quite get into it. Hope you like Michael Jenks writing. You are welcome for the review.
-
I didn't even want to be watching the movie, I can't imagine attempting to read the book.
-
Yep!
Comment from jessizero
I am still enjoying the continuing lives of these characters. I look forward to the next installment. Thank you for continuing to share this story. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
|
I am still enjoying the continuing lives of these characters. I look forward to the next installment. Thank you for continuing to share this story. Best wishes.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
-
I am always reassured by your reviews. There are a couple of women who don't seem to get it, at all. I am pleased you appreciate it.
Comment from aryr
This indeed was a great continuation chapter, Liz. If supper wasn't bad enough for Brother Samuel, the idea of cleaning up was atrocious. I am guessing that's why Madeline has an aversion to anything wooden or rather wet wooden. Then as if to top it off he/she had Brother Stephen tap him on the shoulder begging for food. It was the same gentle tapping that Cordelia used. The night was short, the prayers were long and the days filled with work of some type. Poor Madeline.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
|
This indeed was a great continuation chapter, Liz. If supper wasn't bad enough for Brother Samuel, the idea of cleaning up was atrocious. I am guessing that's why Madeline has an aversion to anything wooden or rather wet wooden. Then as if to top it off he/she had Brother Stephen tap him on the shoulder begging for food. It was the same gentle tapping that Cordelia used. The night was short, the prayers were long and the days filled with work of some type. Poor Madeline.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
-
Thank you for your delightful review. I'm glad you are appreciating it. That tapping on the shoulder has occurred throughout the book. I will give you a teaser. It will be vital in a few chapters. It's interesting how you or Helen seem to do a review just before my dark critics. There are 2 of them. I think they might too literal or linear to understand the whole point of this part or any part of my book. So it's a blessing to have you along.
-
You are so welcome, Liz, I enjoy your writing. One thing I have learned is that you can't please all of the people all the time, so I have decided to please me, lol.
-
lol WC Fields was onto something...wasn't he. These ladies remind me of my grandmother from hell. She was abusive to my mother & us kids. But one thing that is happening is one of them is sharing some family anguish with me. She's kind of poured out her heart...anyway. Oh, well, my mission is to heal...maybe at any cost. But I do not have to give either of them power...thank you for reminding me of this. My therapist (rip) would thank you too.
-
(SMILE)
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
She is still grousing a lot, but she is more interested in her surroundings. It is interesting that she suspects brother Stephen is Cordelia. Wouldn't Stephen have recognized her? A disgust with wet wood is different and certainly challenging. I like this chapter more than the last. I do wonder why the commas in may, be, It seems to interrupt the flow.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
|
She is still grousing a lot, but she is more interested in her surroundings. It is interesting that she suspects brother Stephen is Cordelia. Wouldn't Stephen have recognized her? A disgust with wet wood is different and certainly challenging. I like this chapter more than the last. I do wonder why the commas in may, be, It seems to interrupt the flow.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
-
Thank you for your involved review. Stephen has not lived in the 21st century yet. It is only Madeline who has the knowledge of the 21st century. She carried it back with her to the 15th century.