Reviews from

Maddison's Nightmare

We all have a private horror

8 total reviews 
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Excellent
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I cannot remember having such horrible dreams that would have made me scream but had I envisioned this dream of yours I more than likely would have joined in the tome of your screams immediately. The only things worse are shark attacks and heights.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2022

reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
    Shark attacks are brutal. Thank you for wonderful review.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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A dramatic story written with flair. You have managed to convey very well the sense of panic experienced. Then the awakening. Best wishes for your entry. Wendy

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2022

reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
    Thank you.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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I bet you were trying to fight the flames and the smoke from getting the best of you. This would be a real nightmare for sure if we had a dream such as this...

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2022

reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
    Thank you for taking the time to review my work.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Excellent entry for the 75 Word Flash writing prompt contest. The word count looks good. You have a beginning, a middle, and an end as required.

Check it out.....

"Then, they (come/came) and (pull/pulled) me out just before I (wake/woke up). I never (get/got) to see their (face/faces)."

Good luck in the contest.

Gypsy

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2022

reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
    Thank you.
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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This is very good. I like intensity of it. Just a few things to consider.

notes:

I [drop] to my knees, beaten.

- dropped. You want to maintain the past tense throughout.

And then they {came.,} pulling me out just before I wake.

- Then, they came, and pulled me out just before I woke. I never got to see their faces.

Maintain past tense and plural.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2022

reply by the author on 07-Apr-2022
    Thank you for pointing out my errors. I am glad you liked it.
Comment from JPGeo
Excellent
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This is a very good entry. The imagery and terror are well conveyed in just 75 words. "Voice lost in the sinister crackle", is an awesome use of language.
Good luck with your contest entry. Thanks for sharing it.
John

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2022

reply by the author on 07-Apr-2022
    That is my favorite line. I am glad you liked it.
Comment from rspoet
Excellent
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This is an excellent story for the short flash contest.
It's probably better that you don't get to see their faces,
even if they are rescuers. It keeps the mystery going.
Nicely done.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2022

reply by the author on 07-Apr-2022
    Thank you.
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
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This was quite a story. I am impressed that you managed to tell such a story in just 75 words. Thanks for sharing this here. Keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 06-Apr-2022

reply by the author on 07-Apr-2022
    Thank you.