The Journey
A short story3 total reviews
Comment from Tom Horonzy
An interesting string of events. Shame there wasn't sufficient leeway to finish what began. I found this story had captured my attention but likely won't get many votes because you reward offering was too small. That's the drawback with FanStory. I find you have to buy interest to have your work read to find its true value. What of you? It's like payola of radio playing records in the fifties.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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An interesting string of events. Shame there wasn't sufficient leeway to finish what began. I found this story had captured my attention but likely won't get many votes because you reward offering was too small. That's the drawback with FanStory. I find you have to buy interest to have your work read to find its true value. What of you? It's like payola of radio playing records in the fifties.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my work. Thank you very much for your encouraging words.It is greatly appreciated.
With regards
Comment from humpwhistle
Ah, trains are such good settings for mysteries. I take it there was something in the tea that was suspicious, eh? I like your story, but I think you could raise it up a notch by being a little more creative with your verbs. Surely you can cut down on the number 'was's.
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
The next morning we reached.As we got down from the train,--I think there's an incomplete edit here.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Ah, trains are such good settings for mysteries. I take it there was something in the tea that was suspicious, eh? I like your story, but I think you could raise it up a notch by being a little more creative with your verbs. Surely you can cut down on the number 'was's.
Best of luck at the polls.
Peace, Lee
The next morning we reached.As we got down from the train,--I think there's an incomplete edit here.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my work. Thank you also for your helpful suggestion. I will try and see if I can come up with alternatives to was. It is greatly appreciated.
With regards
Comment from oliver818
What what a twist! I guess even if the narrator had know the girl had been kidnapped there wouldn't have been that much they could do but still. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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What what a twist! I guess even if the narrator had know the girl had been kidnapped there wouldn't have been that much they could do but still. Thanks for sharing this and have a great day
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my work. It is greatly appreciated.
With regards
