The Reunion
Estranged Mother Meets the Prodigal Daughter20 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
You have written the beginning of your story with a great descriptive background of the yard, front door, and house. Your story gently builds to the reluctant but joyful reunion. In the following sentence, did you mean to say "the battered door?'
"I heard voices of a man and a woman, just beyond battered door."
Great story. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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You have written the beginning of your story with a great descriptive background of the yard, front door, and house. Your story gently builds to the reluctant but joyful reunion. In the following sentence, did you mean to say "the battered door?'
"I heard voices of a man and a woman, just beyond battered door."
Great story. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you, LJbutterfly. I appreciate your thoughtful review. This really was the beginning of a story. I hope to improve my work as I go; however, I felt quite rushed to fulfill this contest. Thanks for reading, reviewing and rating my work.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a story that happens too often when family's lead difficult lives. You have a very nice picture. I suspect you don't have exactly 200 words, which is a requirement of this contest. Best of luck with this.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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This is a story that happens too often when family's lead difficult lives. You have a very nice picture. I suspect you don't have exactly 200 words, which is a requirement of this contest. Best of luck with this.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Carol. I appreciate your review.
Comment from jessizero
I was glad to read that the story on which this was based ended happily. You told the story well. Thank you for choosing to share the story here. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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I was glad to read that the story on which this was based ended happily. You told the story well. Thank you for choosing to share the story here. Best wishes.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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I humbly thank you, jessizero. You always have thoughtful commentary and encouraging words.
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
Great prompt. I would rewrite the beginning a little, starting the first paragraph with the general statement, (The house was dilapidated and unfit for habitation), then continuing with the description. Lots of room in the beginning to continue this story into a full-blown novel. Good job.
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reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Great prompt. I would rewrite the beginning a little, starting the first paragraph with the general statement, (The house was dilapidated and unfit for habitation), then continuing with the description. Lots of room in the beginning to continue this story into a full-blown novel. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Olivanne Marsh. Our perspectives differ. It always leaves the door open for creativity. Thanks for reading and reviewing my work.
Comment from Sallyo
Well done! I like the way you've taken a true story and crafted it into a neat flash fiction. One edit to suggest-
that lie at the entrance
that lay at the entrance
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Well done! I like the way you've taken a true story and crafted it into a neat flash fiction. One edit to suggest-
that lie at the entrance
that lay at the entrance
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Sallyo. I appreciate your review. Thanks for the suggested edit. That's funny. I had it correct the first time. Well, what do you know! I guess you can't trust Google for everything. With humble thanks!
Comment from royowen
Doesn't it make one's heart feel Buoyant to know that what was once broken and torn and is repaired and healed, at some later time when they are reunited and reconciled, beautifully written blessings Roy
Typo : just beyond (the) battered door. 2: I took one long(,and) deep breath.
3: it (got) real(ly) quiet.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Doesn't it make one's heart feel Buoyant to know that what was once broken and torn and is repaired and healed, at some later time when they are reunited and reconciled, beautifully written blessings Roy
Typo : just beyond (the) battered door. 2: I took one long(,and) deep breath.
3: it (got) real(ly) quiet.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Roy. This is my first story. I appreciate your thoughtful comments and encouragement. Thanks for taking the time to read my work and review it.
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Most welcome
Comment from humpwhistle
It's really hard to tell a complete story in only 200 words. I'm afraid your story creates more questions than it answers. You use a good deal of your allotted 200 words on describing a yard that, in the end, has little to do with the story.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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It's really hard to tell a complete story in only 200 words. I'm afraid your story creates more questions than it answers. You use a good deal of your allotted 200 words on describing a yard that, in the end, has little to do with the story.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you, humpwhistle. I appreciate your observation. Thanks for reading, reviewing and rating my work.
Comment from Wendy G
Hopefully there was an excellent outcome for this reunion. I am sure most mothers never stop loving their children regardless of the number of years of estrangement. Well written. Good luck.
Wendy
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Hopefully there was an excellent outcome for this reunion. I am sure most mothers never stop loving their children regardless of the number of years of estrangement. Well written. Good luck.
Wendy
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Wendy. I appreciate your thoughtful review. Thanks for reading, reviewing and rating my work.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You captured our hearts with this sweet story here and I am glad it is true as it gives it so much more credence, an honest and heartfelt write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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You captured our hearts with this sweet story here and I am glad it is true as it gives it so much more credence, an honest and heartfelt write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you, Dolly. I appreciate your thoughtful and kind remarks on this work. Thanks for your encouragement.
Comment from oliver818
This is a lovely story- reunions like that must be really amazing and you described it very well. It's so nice that it has a happy ending. Thanks for sharing this
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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This is a lovely story- reunions like that must be really amazing and you described it very well. It's so nice that it has a happy ending. Thanks for sharing this
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2022
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Thank you, oliver818. I appreciate your thoughtful and kind remarks on this work. Thanks for your encouragement.
