The Magic of Cake
What has age got to do with having fun.16 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your story. You told it well. You gave readers
great details about the setting, the situation at hand,
and the resolution. I'm thrilled to know that grandpa
and granddaughter connected over the baking of the
cake and look forward to more visits.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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I enjoyed your story. You told it well. You gave readers
great details about the setting, the situation at hand,
and the resolution. I'm thrilled to know that grandpa
and granddaughter connected over the baking of the
cake and look forward to more visits.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 05-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Jan,
Yes the making of cakes is a great way to go to get the bonding in place. Even with two adults. Thanks for taking time to review my story.
Take care and have a great day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Simon L Parker
Overall, I really like the topic and theme you've chosen. A story which shows that while we were all kids ourselves at one point, we quickly lose sight of how to have simple fun like one. A heartwarming tale.
However, there are a few things that can be improved to make this a more polished piece.
-Capitalize the 'P' in iPad wherever mentioned.
-Remove the space in 'non plussed' to 'nonplussed'.
-Look through the periods you have throughout the text; some are placed outside of the end quote, some have an extra space between them and the concluding word, and there are a few missing periods where one would be expected.
- Also, keeping mind to stay consistent with which version of English you are using for your spelling. While you have 'Antagoniser' spelled with the British 's', you also have 'criticize' spelled with the Americanized 'z' which would be an 's' in British English and vice versa.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Overall, I really like the topic and theme you've chosen. A story which shows that while we were all kids ourselves at one point, we quickly lose sight of how to have simple fun like one. A heartwarming tale.
However, there are a few things that can be improved to make this a more polished piece.
-Capitalize the 'P' in iPad wherever mentioned.
-Remove the space in 'non plussed' to 'nonplussed'.
-Look through the periods you have throughout the text; some are placed outside of the end quote, some have an extra space between them and the concluding word, and there are a few missing periods where one would be expected.
- Also, keeping mind to stay consistent with which version of English you are using for your spelling. While you have 'Antagoniser' spelled with the British 's', you also have 'criticize' spelled with the Americanized 'z' which would be an 's' in British English and vice versa.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Simon,
Thanks for taking time to review my story. Thanks also for the very helpful hints and you are certainly correct in mentioning the different spellings. There should be a consistency, British or American. The other hints are also great.
Take care and have a great day.
Barry Penfold.
Comment from LisaMay
Your story quickly set the scene with family relationships being troublesome, then morphed into a delightful tale of redemption and fun through an activity together. Cake solves a lot of problems.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Your story quickly set the scene with family relationships being troublesome, then morphed into a delightful tale of redemption and fun through an activity together. Cake solves a lot of problems.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Yes, cake does solve a lot of problems. When looking back, cake was the center of many great times, not only birthdays, but just getting together. Thanks for taking time to review my story. Much appreciated.
Barry Penfold
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A simple story from every day life. The pace is good. The images are clear. The dialogue is believable. The feeling is warm and friendly.
Suggestions"
because his daughter had no other choice â?" or words to that effect.
You need to read over after posting for extended characters. This site sometimes inserts them.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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A simple story from every day life. The pace is good. The images are clear. The dialogue is believable. The feeling is warm and friendly.
Suggestions"
because his daughter had no other choice â?" or words to that effect.
You need to read over after posting for extended characters. This site sometimes inserts them.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Thanks for taking the time to review my story and for your helpful hint. Glad you enjoyed it . Cake is often at the center of many happy moments.
Take care and have a great day.
Barry Penfold.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a great story of redemption on many levels, and you have told it so well. Building up the layers of background steadily like a wall, then sending the wall crashing down as though it had been hit by a bulldozer, the unpleasant past being swept away by the healing power of baking. As you say, magic. Kate xx
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reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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This is a great story of redemption on many levels, and you have told it so well. Building up the layers of background steadily like a wall, then sending the wall crashing down as though it had been hit by a bulldozer, the unpleasant past being swept away by the healing power of baking. As you say, magic. Kate xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Katherine,
Thanks for taking the time to review my story. Glad you enjoyed it. Yes cake does center in many happy moments of our lives. Take care and have a lovely day.
Barry Penfold.
Comment from Kim Kinakin Tuckey
I loved this story. A simple thing like baking a cake is an awesome bonding activities between two people. My favourite description was the sentence where the little girl was intertwined in Pop's legs while looking through the cupboards.
I wondered if Pop had never made a cake if he would have cake mixes. Maybe he would have ingredients for a cake from scratch or maybe a sentence about how/why he had purchased the cake mix.
Also, if the grandson liked forts it was a little contradictory to the grumpy Grandpa reputation.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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I loved this story. A simple thing like baking a cake is an awesome bonding activities between two people. My favourite description was the sentence where the little girl was intertwined in Pop's legs while looking through the cupboards.
I wondered if Pop had never made a cake if he would have cake mixes. Maybe he would have ingredients for a cake from scratch or maybe a sentence about how/why he had purchased the cake mix.
Also, if the grandson liked forts it was a little contradictory to the grumpy Grandpa reputation.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2022
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Thanks for taking the time to review my story. I am glad you enjoyed it. I personally have a number of different cake mixes in my pantry. All are marked with my intention to make them up but many seem to still remain intact. Perhaps this tory will mark a return to turning intention to reality.
Please take care and have a good day. Also , keep writing.
Regards
Barry Penfold.
