A Sweet Memory
A treasured memory of time with my dad.11 total reviews
Comment from oliver818
This is so beautifully told, with such intensity of detail! It really feels like a video as you described it. Amazing! I don't have a six or I'd give you one for sure. Thanks so much for sharing this
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
This is so beautifully told, with such intensity of detail! It really feels like a video as you described it. Amazing! I don't have a six or I'd give you one for sure. Thanks so much for sharing this
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Thank you for a really great review!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I always enjoy reading stories of others' family lives, especially as children growing up observing their parents. This was delightful, and I enjoyed reading it.
Four lines up from the bottom - close your quotes:-)
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
I always enjoy reading stories of others' family lives, especially as children growing up observing their parents. This was delightful, and I enjoyed reading it.
Four lines up from the bottom - close your quotes:-)
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Thank you for a great review, especially the reminder!
Comment from LJbutterfly
What I enjoyed most is the imagery you included in your poem. I could see a young barefoot girl with pigtails standing beside the freezer waiting for her dad to pull out ice cream. I love the last line, "My heart is making an indelible video." Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
What I enjoyed most is the imagery you included in your poem. I could see a young barefoot girl with pigtails standing beside the freezer waiting for her dad to pull out ice cream. I love the last line, "My heart is making an indelible video." Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much. This is one of my favorite memories!
Comment from in777wr#
It looks like you have fond memories of your father. Your poem, in my opinion was well crafted. You painted a mental picture of both you, and your father loving ice cream. Your picture compliments your poem well. Nice job.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
It looks like you have fond memories of your father. Your poem, in my opinion was well crafted. You painted a mental picture of both you, and your father loving ice cream. Your picture compliments your poem well. Nice job.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for your review.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
This poem is a loving memory of your dad, remembering him when he was on this earth and still missing him today. Missing a parent can be a lifetime. We also become older and then wish that their g'pa and g'ma were around to see them grow.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
This poem is a loving memory of your dad, remembering him when he was on this earth and still missing him today. Missing a parent can be a lifetime. We also become older and then wish that their g'pa and g'ma were around to see them grow.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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So true! Thank you very much!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Family writing prompt contest. Great flow and rhythm that doesn't seem forced. I like the presentation too.
My died and mom died long ago, I wish they would still be alive. Memories is all I have.
Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
Excellent entry for the Family writing prompt contest. Great flow and rhythm that doesn't seem forced. I like the presentation too.
My died and mom died long ago, I wish they would still be alive. Memories is all I have.
Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Thanks for your review and your wishes for the contest!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Fine memories that never leave us about those we loved spending time with an they remain in our hearts forever, your sweet natured poem is endearing and honest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
Fine memories that never leave us about those we loved spending time with an they remain in our hearts forever, your sweet natured poem is endearing and honest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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I appreciate your review!
Comment from Michele Harber
Your love for your father is evident in every word you say, and in the minute detail in which you remember the scene you describe. You don't remember such detail as, "His tongue peeks out
Between his lips, and he wipes the top of
His left hand to catch pearled drops of sweat" unless the moment, and the person at the heart of it, meant that much to you. You made an excellent choice of details to use to make the reader really visualize the scene as you saw it. I'm sorry your father is gone, but it's nice that he left you such beautiful memories.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2022
Your love for your father is evident in every word you say, and in the minute detail in which you remember the scene you describe. You don't remember such detail as, "His tongue peeks out
Between his lips, and he wipes the top of
His left hand to catch pearled drops of sweat" unless the moment, and the person at the heart of it, meant that much to you. You made an excellent choice of details to use to make the reader really visualize the scene as you saw it. I'm sorry your father is gone, but it's nice that he left you such beautiful memories.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much for a lovely review.
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You?re very welcome!
Comment from Rachel Jamerson1
I love it! Your words paint a very realistic picture. Anyone who has lost a parent can identify with your poem. It is a sad but also happy memory. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2022
I love it! Your words paint a very realistic picture. Anyone who has lost a parent can identify with your poem. It is a sad but also happy memory. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 30-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much for an excellent review.
Comment from tfawcus
You create a wonderful image of a father's love in this poem. I can almost taste that ice cream! Your final line perfectly describes the way memories such as this are etched in our hearts.
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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2022
You create a wonderful image of a father's love in this poem. I can almost taste that ice cream! Your final line perfectly describes the way memories such as this are etched in our hearts.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2022
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Thanks for the excellent review. I'm mighty glad for memories!