Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

Oh this is so cute and funny. , I enjoyed reading it and the picture is truly beautiful. Your 5/7/5 is certainly different. But The way you have written it with marvellous alliteration makes it a unique poem. Giddy

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022

Giddy,

Thank you for your comments and stars. My poetry style is predominantly 5-7-5. So i claim that as my niche; longer verses are mot within my poetry bailiwick. But, I do like alliteration slipped into my posts.

Mark

Mark

Comment from 1Dreamer

Excellent

Love the picture you chose to go along with this piece. Have seen elephants enjoying their soak and it always makes me chuckle. God has surely provided us with relief from the seriousness of life if we only can learn from it. Many blessings!

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022

Thanks Dreamer for your nice comments. Pleased with the smile I put on your face. The watercolor is spectacular and was the inspiration for the poem. Normally, I start with the poem and then find an illustration to pair with it.

Smiles back to you.

Mark

Mark

Comment from Janetsue

Excellent

I love elephants and you have done them justice with your excellent 3 Line Poetry Contest entry. The picture is beautiful and amplifies the alliterated lines. Best wishes, Mark!

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022

Thanks Janet!

The illustration was the genesis for my collaboration with Karenina. She deserves at least half of the accolades the poem has received. The illustration really is a spectacular watercolor.

Mark

Mark

Comment from Janice Canerdy

Excellent

You really have made excellent use of your seventeen syllables in this delightful, creatively worded description of this scenario. Great use of alliteration and metaphor.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022

Thanks Janice!

Appreciate your support for this contest entry.

Mark

Comment from MissMerri

Excellent

I like this poem so much! It has abundant alliteration, and ends with a clever line that makes me smile. However, the watercolor used to illustrate this almost steals the show. It is spectacular! I loved it to pieces! Thanks for sharing both poem and art. Great job!

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022

In truth, the picture was the inspiration for the collaborative poem with Karenina. I intend to share your comments with the watercolor artist. It is outstanding illustration as you said!

Thank you!

Mark

Comment from royowen

Excellent

What an excellent post my friend, a really good 5/7/5 that sets things concerning the elephant's spa place. A lot more enterprising than we give them credit for, beautifully written Mark, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022

Thanks Roy! It was a terrific collaboration with Karenina. We had lots of back and forths to twiddle the final version. The illustration was actually the inspiration for the poem.

Mark

reply by royowen on 11-Apr-2022

Good job

Comment from mermaids

Excellent

Lovely image in your words of the elephants taking a soothing mud bath. I am always thrilled to come across a poem about elephants. Your nature haiku paints a clear picture that brings up good feelings. Excellent use of words with a beautiful picture.

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022

Thank you. The illustration is a great companion to my collaborative Haiku post. Pleased you liked the overall presentation. Elephants apparently never forget, so they may return regularly for their mud bath treatment.

Mark

P.S. My poem genre is predominantly 5-7-5 or Haiku. Longer verses are not within my poetry wheelhouse.

reply by mermaids on 12-Apr-2022

Shorter poems are more challenging to create, so I admire that you write this form. Keep writing. Elaine

Comment from ~Dovey

Excellent

Hi Mark!

I love elephants! I love alliteration! And I love the smiles you brought me with this poem today!!

Wishing you all the best in this contest.

Kim

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022

Kim,

THANK YOU! However my co-author, collaborator, gets half the credit. We had so much fun fine-tuning this post. The alliterations were just a bonus for us.

Thanks for your good wishes.

Mark


Mark

Comment from juliaSjames

Excellent

The poem is delightful. That inspired first line set the tone and then the alliteration took off like a rocket. I can imagine the trumpeting squeals as the giants roll around in the muddy water. I'm thinking that elephants are herd animals so perhaps the first line should read, "plodding pachyderms". That would mean tweaking the title too.

Good luck to you and your co-author in the contest

Stay safe and blessed, Julia

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022

Júlia,

Yes, the illustration does have a few elephants, but since I was paying for the spa treatment, I did not have enough money for the herd. The baby elephant IMHO is not yet old enough to get the full spa treatment. LOL

It was terrific collaborating with Karenina on this poem. We had great fun in our back and forth messages to fine tune what you have ably reviewed. We hope to do it again, but under her name.

Mark

reply by juliaSjames on 11-Apr-2022

LOL

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Your contest entry reads well. Great job with the syllable count per line and the alliteration of p, w, and s. Your words flow smoothly and are descriptive. I could see these massive elephants on their way to a cooling break.
Best wishes.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 11-Apr-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022

Jan,

Thanks for your kind review of this collaborative effort with another FS poet, Karenina. We had fun with the alliterations.

Mark