Gifts of Life and Love
Accepting 'the primal wound': my adoption story. (699 words)26 total reviews
Comment from nancy_e_davis
From the sound of things you dodged a bullet, meaning you were lucky to have Tom and Nola to raise you instead of your birth mother. That is an adorable picture of you and your brothers. Well done, Lisa. Good luck in the contest. Nancy:)
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From the sound of things you dodged a bullet, meaning you were lucky to have Tom and Nola to raise you instead of your birth mother. That is an adorable picture of you and your brothers. Well done, Lisa. Good luck in the contest. Nancy:)
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
Comment from poetwatch
I feel for you, Jenny, but you were loved. Many children like your half-sisters didn't have that. Where would you be if life took a turn and you stayed in Australia? Would I be calling you Jenny or Ruth? I see the picture of you and your brothers and can't imagine you without a smile. This is a good entry for the Adoption Contest.
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I feel for you, Jenny, but you were loved. Many children like your half-sisters didn't have that. Where would you be if life took a turn and you stayed in Australia? Would I be calling you Jenny or Ruth? I see the picture of you and your brothers and can't imagine you without a smile. This is a good entry for the Adoption Contest.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
It is a fact that 'blood is thicker than water' but I do not believe that this can always be applied in an allegorical way.
As you point out we learn who we are from those around us and those who love us rather than from the cold hearted woman who may have birthed us. On the other hand there are many birth mothers who long to see again children who may have been adopted for a great variety of reasons.
But this is your story, and you tell it well.
Warmly,
Juliette
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It is a fact that 'blood is thicker than water' but I do not believe that this can always be applied in an allegorical way.
As you point out we learn who we are from those around us and those who love us rather than from the cold hearted woman who may have birthed us. On the other hand there are many birth mothers who long to see again children who may have been adopted for a great variety of reasons.
But this is your story, and you tell it well.
Warmly,
Juliette
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
Comment from Debbie Pope
Since you mentioned that you were writing this, I have been looking for it. Your notes are correct when you say that something is lacking in the way of emotions. This must have been hard for you to write, but I think that a longer write would be helpful to us all. Maybe you could do a more detailed series on your ties to all of those people in your life. Or talk about your search for your mom. It truly would be helpful.
I think that I told you that my sister-in-law ( and best friend) has no one (except a son who she seldom sees) because her father left her, and her adoptive father, birth father, and all other family members have died. I did not realize the depth of her feelings about being abandoned by her father until I bought her a tartan scarf for our trip to Scotland. She took her adoptive father's name, Thomas, and I have known her by that name since high school. So, I went looking for a Thomas tartan. Special ordered it from Scotland before we went. The gift was very hurtful. She loves her adoptive father, loves him dearly, but feels no connection to his ancestors. That is an issue that had not crossed my mind, and I felt insensitive to her needs. In order to pass it along to her son, she wanted a tartan from the father that abandoned her. In her mind that was her son's lineage. Of course it is. I was embarrassed that I had not thought of that. But that left me feeling sorry for her adoptive father.
Anyway, adoption is certainly complicated. In your piece, I take away that being raised by adoptive parents is often a blessing. Bearing a child does not make one a mother. If it is not too hurtful, there is so much more that you can say.
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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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Since you mentioned that you were writing this, I have been looking for it. Your notes are correct when you say that something is lacking in the way of emotions. This must have been hard for you to write, but I think that a longer write would be helpful to us all. Maybe you could do a more detailed series on your ties to all of those people in your life. Or talk about your search for your mom. It truly would be helpful.
I think that I told you that my sister-in-law ( and best friend) has no one (except a son who she seldom sees) because her father left her, and her adoptive father, birth father, and all other family members have died. I did not realize the depth of her feelings about being abandoned by her father until I bought her a tartan scarf for our trip to Scotland. She took her adoptive father's name, Thomas, and I have known her by that name since high school. So, I went looking for a Thomas tartan. Special ordered it from Scotland before we went. The gift was very hurtful. She loves her adoptive father, loves him dearly, but feels no connection to his ancestors. That is an issue that had not crossed my mind, and I felt insensitive to her needs. In order to pass it along to her son, she wanted a tartan from the father that abandoned her. In her mind that was her son's lineage. Of course it is. I was embarrassed that I had not thought of that. But that left me feeling sorry for her adoptive father.
Anyway, adoption is certainly complicated. In your piece, I take away that being raised by adoptive parents is often a blessing. Bearing a child does not make one a mother. If it is not too hurtful, there is so much more that you can say.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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There is certainly much more I could say. Something has inhibited me from writing about it more fully... probably because I think family stories are to be handed down to offspring and I have none... but as you say, it could be helpful to others.
I can relate to the tartan scarf story and how it made you both feel... your sister-in-law feeling conflicted about lineage and adoption loyalties, you feeling wretched for being unaware of her deep sensitivity.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well told, heartfelt story. Too bad about the word count restriction.
'extruding a baby' puts me in mind of my wife's favored expression of 'squirting out' a baby.
It seemed odd to have a first meeting on Christmas. I'm sure that time off work/school offered opportunity, but still ....
I feel sad that you are alone (without family). We would be happy to 'adopt' you into ours here in Arkansas.
Best wishes.
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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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Well told, heartfelt story. Too bad about the word count restriction.
'extruding a baby' puts me in mind of my wife's favored expression of 'squirting out' a baby.
It seemed odd to have a first meeting on Christmas. I'm sure that time off work/school offered opportunity, but still ....
I feel sad that you are alone (without family). We would be happy to 'adopt' you into ours here in Arkansas.
Best wishes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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My sisters often spend Christmas together, so adding me into the mix at that time seemed sensible.
What a kind offer for you to 'adopt' me into your family... thank you.
Squirting out a baby definitely sounds messy!
Comment from Mrs. KT
Gutted, Jenny!
Dear lord!
How incredibly honest and moving of your to share your spirit and gut-wrenching experiences with me.
So many lines stand out for me, but your ending says it all:
My 'real parents' will always be the ones who loved me and encouraged me into the fulfilling life their support made possible.
They say 'blood is thicker than water'. I was watered with love. Blood can be messy.
P.S.
And yes, only a damn idiot would tell a child she was meant to be aborted...
Thank you for sharing... in tears...
diane
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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Gutted, Jenny!
Dear lord!
How incredibly honest and moving of your to share your spirit and gut-wrenching experiences with me.
So many lines stand out for me, but your ending says it all:
My 'real parents' will always be the ones who loved me and encouraged me into the fulfilling life their support made possible.
They say 'blood is thicker than water'. I was watered with love. Blood can be messy.
P.S.
And yes, only a damn idiot would tell a child she was meant to be aborted...
Thank you for sharing... in tears...
diane
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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Well Diane, you got me off to a flying start with your rating for this story, for which I am truly grateful. I've been quite frank in this story. Some might think I have been very negative about Marie. I met her with an open mind, non-judgmental or accusatory, and what I report here is what she told me. She accused us women of ganging up on her to bring her down. That wasn't the case. We were genuinely interested in what happened in her life and the decisions she made.
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Definitely moving.
Such heartache, yet told with clarity and honesty...
Still gutted...
diane
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Life dishes up sweet and sour.
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Yup...
How well I know...
