The Adventures of Uncle Lew
Revised Part 1 Screenplay - Pot of gold from Heaven8 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Interesting plot, I think.
here it is 'the shopping list. - errant single quote
White Signpost - Why the caps?
GOD, ONE WOULD TEND, OF MY NECESSITIES' - Why the caps? You would do well to buy a script writing book. As I understand, only the characters in the scene and the action verbs get all caps. Otherwise, grammar and punctuation is per normal usage.
Suppers on the table. - Supper(')s
As I said, punctuation and grammar follow normal rules.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Interesting plot, I think.
here it is 'the shopping list. - errant single quote
White Signpost - Why the caps?
GOD, ONE WOULD TEND, OF MY NECESSITIES' - Why the caps? You would do well to buy a script writing book. As I understand, only the characters in the scene and the action verbs get all caps. Otherwise, grammar and punctuation is per normal usage.
Suppers on the table. - Supper(')s
As I said, punctuation and grammar follow normal rules.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Perfect I will correct all, thanks for taking the time to read... Bill
Comment from oliver818
This seems like a very interesting idea for a film script. The concept is a fascinating one, a little
reminiscent of Bruce Almighty except set a long time ago.
I think the dialogue is pretty good although I noticed you sometimes use off expressions
Eg Don't repeat that again. - maybe don't do that again?
Also, I noticed a few spots where you didn't leave a line between dialogue.
Thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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This seems like a very interesting idea for a film script. The concept is a fascinating one, a little
reminiscent of Bruce Almighty except set a long time ago.
I think the dialogue is pretty good although I noticed you sometimes use off expressions
Eg Don't repeat that again. - maybe don't do that again?
Also, I noticed a few spots where you didn't leave a line between dialogue.
Thanks for sharing
Comment Written 05-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Thanks, i corrected.... don't do that again and will look for he other, thanks once again for the review.... Bill
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Wow, you certainly have a humorous imagination! Uncle Lew is quite the character, as he keeps the story going quite nicely.
Cute supporting casts with the kids and the one who's trying to get her brother out of Hell. Your writing is entertaining & the only problem you may have, is those who don't care for using the location of Heaven for your story. But then again, maybe most will not find it offending. I'm not trying to rain on your parade, just being honest. I enjoy your writing and I wish you all the best. Nice job!
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Wow, you certainly have a humorous imagination! Uncle Lew is quite the character, as he keeps the story going quite nicely.
Cute supporting casts with the kids and the one who's trying to get her brother out of Hell. Your writing is entertaining & the only problem you may have, is those who don't care for using the location of Heaven for your story. But then again, maybe most will not find it offending. I'm not trying to rain on your parade, just being honest. I enjoy your writing and I wish you all the best. Nice job!
Comment Written 05-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
Thank you very much for taking the time to read this and for your very nice review. I am glad you liked it. I found it very, Helpful because I'm looking for areas That are not. Either explained well or that can step on somebody's toes. Part of me just says, well, you're gonna have to move your feet, which I am leaning towards.
There are some touchy things in this [not saying just what now] that I mentioned to someone, ?the only way I can write about that is with humor.?
But I think I can get away with Not me Saying it
but I am going to use the words of Famous people... it should work if I set it up correctly... Anyway, I am talking like a rattle trap... Thanks Bill
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I think that's great! It is very entertaining & it's just because I appreciate feedback so much, I just wanted to point out what some might feel! I'm proud of you for being so sure of your work, as that's what makes for great writing! I look forward to reading more!
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hI I added and few more lines but will remove after you see
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Hilarious! I'm so honored that I got a sneak preview!
I think, no I know you will do great with this ! It's fun, entertaining & a little slapstick comedy too!
And thank you once again for a glimpse at what's to come.
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well thank you too for your feedback and now I will remove
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👍
Comment from VJWild
You are so very talented! You bring a feeling with your words, always setting the scene and engaging the reader. I could picture everything that was going on and I wanted to be there with the characters. Can't wait for what comes next!
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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You are so very talented! You bring a feeling with your words, always setting the scene and engaging the reader. I could picture everything that was going on and I wanted to be there with the characters. Can't wait for what comes next!
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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Well, see what you started? I think writing Haiku helped me a bit by using limited words and listening to all voices on fanstory. I have been here a long time and with real tears, I got better... lots of people helped. Thanks again... bill
Comment from royowen
This is a very different post regarding these type of happenings, but I like the characters as earthy and relatable, not sanctimonious and unbearable, good characters as well. Lew and Rebecca have a mutual affection which may become tangled, later. Excellent post, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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This is a very different post regarding these type of happenings, but I like the characters as earthy and relatable, not sanctimonious and unbearable, good characters as well. Lew and Rebecca have a mutual affection which may become tangled, later. Excellent post, blessings Roy
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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Tangled up in blue... maybe... Nope, it's going a different direction.
Nice review Roy, I got a lot out of it...
As you know, some things write themselves and what you apply as an Observer Roy, lets me see it from a different view as well," oh yeah I had not thought of it that way."
Anyway thanks for the review... take Care... Bill
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Well done
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading part of your screen play. My son also writes and he mentioned that screenplays are judged in the first 100 words. Something to consider. His perspective is from the standpoint of investors being interested in making his movies. Hope that helps.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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I enjoyed reading part of your screen play. My son also writes and he mentioned that screenplays are judged in the first 100 words. Something to consider. His perspective is from the standpoint of investors being interested in making his movies. Hope that helps.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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Yes, that does indeed help, thanks for taking the time to read and your comments... take care... Bill
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
When heart works, everything becomes fine, fantastic and fantasy becomes more than fanning; this script has its own original order of expression, nothing is incredible, when pot of gold from heaven after the rainbow; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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When heart works, everything becomes fine, fantastic and fantasy becomes more than fanning; this script has its own original order of expression, nothing is incredible, when pot of gold from heaven after the rainbow; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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Well, what a nice review... plus a great rating... I have been working on this for 6 months {with rest} and was not sure if my craziness was working... I would love to post more but I want to keep this card hand close to my chest... I have never done a screenplay before, maybe later I will figure out Private viewing and let you know... Thanks again... Bill
Comment from prettybluebirds
Well, It is long I will say that for it. However, it is also interesting and kept me hooked all the way to the end. I wish someone would bring me a pot of gold. I think your script is fine just the way it is.
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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Well, It is long I will say that for it. However, it is also interesting and kept me hooked all the way to the end. I wish someone would bring me a pot of gold. I think your script is fine just the way it is.
Comment Written 27-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the positive and delightful review.... i have not shown this to many people and I am Happy it kept you Hooked... I left it shortened also as not to reveal the plot/story for to me it is a good one... Anyway that's for taking the time to read... Bill
