Reviews from

Quiet Lawyer

Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 7C"
Can a broken heart be mended?

21 total reviews 
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello, my friend

I've not been around lately, but I had to stop and read your posts. I know Pat is nothing but trouble, and an intelligent lawyer woman should know it too. Mixed emotions from the past shouldn't outweigh her natural intelligence concerning the two men. A slight overreaction to me.... but I still love the story.

Hugs, Carol

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    She hasn't gotten over her past, yet. It was bad. Thank you for the kind review. I am praying for you.
reply by Begin Again on 20-Mar-2022
    Thank you... Been through black clouds before and I am sure I will survive. It's just difficult.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, this is taking a bad turn. I wonder how much truth there is in the accusations of his "girlfriend." A good read, as usual, glad it came up today. You have a lot of spacing in this chapter. Not sure if deliberate or by mistake. I know dialogue needs spaces but even non-dialogue is heavily spaced.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    The spacing is a mistake. I am hoping tomorrow to fix it, but right now, I don't have time. I am so far behind. Thank you.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
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Phew! There are some unexpected twists and turns in this chapter. I think there's some explaining to do, and I don't believe Ali is in a listening mood!

A couple of things you might want to attend to:

With is hand, he cupped her elbow and led her inside [I don't think you need to show that it was his hand he cupped her elbow with.]

He chuckled. "I never tease about food." [There is a difference, subtle though it may be, between teasing and kidding. I believe here I'd have him say, "I never kid about food."]

"I didn't do anything," [Punctuation other than comma needed here.]

"I won't be the other woman," interrupted Alexandra, slapped Cordero's cheek, and ran outside. [You should rework this sentence, perhaps changing "slapped" to "slapping".]

Since you posted both this and the Football chapter today, I'll give this one a five, in light of the corrections. Both are entertaining as all get-out, Barbara. It's just that sixes are always scarce.




 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    Okay, the first suggestion. I added the part about the hand at the last second. I've omitted it. The last suggestion, I've been told by editors not to use words ending with 'ing' unless necessary. I will try to figure a way to reword it.
reply by Jay Squires on 20-Mar-2022
    Without their further explanation, I wouldn't agree with the editors on that. It can be overdone, but it fills a purpose.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
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Wow, it seems like there is some kind of a conspiracy going on here, and sadly Ali has been taken in. At least I'm assuming Cordero is who he appears to be. Interesting. You've drawn me in to follow for sure. Well done, Barbara.


 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Judy Lawless on 20-Mar-2022
    You?re most welcome, Barbara.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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Why would a sensible, successful lawyer take the word of someone who has not shown himself to be trustworthy against someone who has demonstrated over and over again that he can be trusted.? I have never understood a person getting so angry that they refuse to listen to reason. They always have to suffer the embarrassment of having to apologize later.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    Ali's in a bad place write now because of what her fiance did. She's healing and Cord will help. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
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I sure do appreciate the larger font and the increased spacing. There is one edit, near the top, a sentence starts with,"With is hand." You moved the story along nicely. I was sorry to see it end, Now I have to wait until next week to see what happens. LOL

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the catch. I've read that hundreds of times and still missed it. I hate when I do that.
reply by eliz100 on 20-Mar-2022
    Nobody is perfect
Comment from Shirley McLain
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Great chapter, so full of intensity and action. You have to keep reading. Pat wants to cause trouble, and he's doing it. I don't want to wait until next Sunday to read more, but I think you're forcing me into it. Shirley

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Excellent
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This is another interesting book. I need to read the previous chapters to catch up with the book. I think the picture is too dark. Sometimes we have these extra spaces between lines after pasting our writing. I have been deleting them line by line.

Well done.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    Okay, Thank you.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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Wow! You have added a new dimension to his novel. This is first time Alexandra has felt she had reason to doubt him. I sure Pat is dangerous but maybe there are dangerous women as well. I hope we soon get Cord explanation. Christy asked, "You're usual?" Did you mean Your usual?

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    Yes, I will make that correction. Sometimes my fingers work and my brain pauses. LOL
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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That was a set-up orchestrated by Pat, and Ali needs to let Cord explain. Some people are just out to destroy others, and he and that woman seem to be just that. Ooh I'm so mad!! This is another excellent chapter, Barbara. Well done! :)) Sandra xx

I'm not sure if you have the right word below, but it might be different in the US.

"I don't believe in consequences.(coincidences)

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    I need to change that word. DARN!!! I did it again. Thank you. Cord will get a chance to explain.
reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 20-Mar-2022
    I knew the final chapter of your other novel was coming today, and wanted to save the six for that one. I am enjoying this story too! xxx
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2022
    Thank you.