Reviews from

The Return

Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "The Return Chapter 12"
Erotic Turmoil

35 total reviews 
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

AWESOME chapter, Sandra. I enjoyed reading it. This one is filled with great dialogue, imagery, and intrigue. Yes, I knew Gwen was an alcoholic (among other things). She may even be schizophrenic. The clue about her knowing of hemlock was interesting. She probably used that info to her advantage--maybe even getting rid of Papa. Of course Bessie doesn't need sleep--not any apparitions I've read about do either. Hmm, seems to me Jane may even be in on Gwen's plan--maybe the two of them are an item like lovers. She could have brewed the tea with hemlock in it . . . The father didn't lose his money by gambling. So, my guess is he was blackmailed by one or more individuals, then threatened to tell, and was 'done in.'

You descriptive words about the two residences were great Sandra.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Aw thank you so much, Jan. You always delight me. You have actually come up with a couple of things that no one else has, but I'm not telling you which, you will see soon enough!! Lol, I am mean! Thank you, dear friend, for another fabulous review, and the golden star. You reviews mean a lot to me. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Sandra,
Looks like Gwendolyn is bit of a Jekyll and Hyde,
perhaps with good reason as she is misused by both husband and father.
Nice section with Miles and Jane, a little upstairs/downstairs interaction,
while Miles and Meg seems oblivious to the danger looming.
Excellent description of the mansion, not quite Downton Abbey,
but impressive nevertheless.
Great chapter with a nice tease at the end.
Six stars from beginning to end.
Best wishes.
Robert

There's an author named Paula Brackston who writes similar theme books (The little Shop of Found Things) of time travel/romance. Her books are listed as fiction, fantasy, under the section of paranormal/romance.


 Comment Written 21-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Hello Robert, thank you so much for another lovely review, and the golden star, I really appreciate both. :))
    I had a look into Paula Brackston, and have down loaded that book, it's the first of four. I checked out her publisher too, but they only accept through an agent, shame! It's harder to get an agent then it is to get a ticket to fly to the moon! But, I'm glad you mentioned her, and I think you're right about the genre. Fiction, fantasy, paranormal sounds perfect for this book. I do tend to write most of my stories in the fantasy theme, even Eric's books!
    I'm glad you enjoyed the descriptions of the mansion, no, not quite Downton Abbey! Lol. Thank you, my friend, I enjoyed your review. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I don't really know what genre of story this one truly is: but it's darn sure entertaining and keeps me coming back every week for more. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Thank you, dear Ric. I've had a couple of suggestions, but I don't think they are in the list that FS has here. I'm just pleased you are still enjoying the story. Thanks, my friend. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You are a tease! Of course, we'll have to come back to find out what Bessie's discovered.

I enjoyed the detailed description of savouring a wee dram of malt whiskey. The voice of experience, perhaps? LOL

Nice description of the house, too. Most authentic.

One picky suggestion. Maybe drop the first of these two adverbs:

would easily accommodate their guests comfortably.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Lol, even I was pleased how the last line came about at just the right time. Thank you so much, Tony, for this fabulous review and the golden star. I have taken 'easily' out of that sentence, thanks so much for pointing that out. Have a lovely week, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

The reader can't help but be entertained by your chapter, but the writer stands to gain a lot by studying your timing in the use of suspended information. With Margot sleeping, Bessie wanders off alone to investigate Lord Brandon's office. When Margot wakens, Bessie tells her that she'd discovered something in Brandon's office ... but would tell Margot later what it was. There follows a gorgeous description of the dignity and beauty of the estate as contrasted with the ostenticity of Richard's mansion ... all as background in the reader's mind to the niggling desire to know the secret. When Bessie does finally begin to tell Margot what she discovered, she stopped short of fully disclosing it. Instead she dealt out a juicy bit of information that Lord Brandon didn't lose his money by gambling. What!!

And with that ... our dear Sandra has us panting outside our FS inbox for next week's answer. Timing. Suspensful withholding of vital information. Brilliantly conceived, Sandra!

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Aw,thank you, Jay! What a lovely review, you are always so kind in your comments. Thank you, also, for the golden sixth star, I really appreciate both! Love and hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from Ben Colder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I am getting an understanding of the dept of this write by your author notes. It cleared up a few questions. Thanks, Sandy. I see nothing wrong. My best to you

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Thank you, Chuck, I'm glad your questions have been cleared up. Thank you for the golden star, too, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandy. xx
Comment from Annette R.
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the description of the rooms. Puts you right in the house. I was wondering about the dialect so thanks for the explanation. Not knowing what Bessie is does smack of fantasy. Not sure about Science Fiction. I think of Science Fiction as things like Star Trek. Gwendolyn's character very clear poor thing. Like your imagination.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Thank you, Annette, for this lovely review. I appreciate your kind comments. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. Thank you. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Gwendolyn sounds like a pretty nasty character. We'll see if she has plans for the hemlock. Bessie is a great one to have around. She's so cheerful and seems pretty shrewd. She has come across some interesting information that Meg's father didn't lose his money by gambling. You're doing a good job of presenting the time frame and Margot's reaction to being back there. judi

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Gwendolyn has a lot of anger inside after the way she's been treated by the only two men she's had in her life. We will see what happens. Thank you so much, Judi, for another lovely review, and a big thank you for that golden star! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by judiverse on 21-Mar-2022
    You're welcome. I'm enjoying the way you're taking Margot back in time. judi
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So Bessie has found out that Meg's father didn't lose his money gambling apparently, but that will have to wait. I like the way you write the narrative about gazing through someone's eyes, I can remember praying that prayer, until Gid granted that dream. Beautifully written Sandra, as usual, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Thank you so much for your lovely comments, dear Roy. It's time to push ahead. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. Warmest hugs, dear friend. :) Sandra xxx
reply by royowen on 21-Mar-2022
    Most welcome
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great stuff, Sandra! The scene with Gwendolyn dancing around the room with her drink, displaying aloud her cynical disdain for her father and her loathing of his portrait, was absolutely enthralling. I felt like I were there with Bessie and Margot watching with them.

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Thank you, John. You always say the nicest things. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter. Things will start to happen in more ways than one now. Fun times ahead!! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx