Lost and Found!
Loss and loneliness, during war.20 total reviews
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
You did a great job with the writing prompt. This should do well in the contest. The topic you chose is a popular one but using only 100 words you got to the root of how most of us feel.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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You did a great job with the writing prompt. This should do well in the contest. The topic you chose is a popular one but using only 100 words you got to the root of how most of us feel.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Thanks for your thoughtful review.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I have been thinking along those lines as well wondering how many 85 year old's have been dispossessed of their homes in that war zone over there. Knowing how helpless I would be with no one to help me. God Bless them and help them find shelter and what ever else they need. Well done. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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I have been thinking along those lines as well wondering how many 85 year old's have been dispossessed of their homes in that war zone over there. Knowing how helpless I would be with no one to help me. God Bless them and help them find shelter and what ever else they need. Well done. Nancy:)
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Thanks for your thoughtful review.
Comment from robyn corum
Laura,
Thank you for your kind heart and sincere appreciation for what these poor people are suffering at the moment. It's beyond comprehension.
Though I did appreciate your words AND your lovely heart - I have a few suggestions to make - which you are welcome to hate and ignore. *smile*
1.) Right off, I was confused by your choice to 'center'- format your words. That really made this piece seem a bit more like poetry than prose and distracted this reader.
2.) I say "dear God what should I do?"
--> I say, "Dear God! What should I do?"
--> I say, "Dear God, what should I do?"
3.) " Sonia!" a neighbor that I hardly know shouts, "come with us my sister has room for you too!"
--> " Sonia!" A neighbor I hardly know shouts, "Come with us! My sister has room for you, too!"
Thanks so much and good luck!
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reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Laura,
Thank you for your kind heart and sincere appreciation for what these poor people are suffering at the moment. It's beyond comprehension.
Though I did appreciate your words AND your lovely heart - I have a few suggestions to make - which you are welcome to hate and ignore. *smile*
1.) Right off, I was confused by your choice to 'center'- format your words. That really made this piece seem a bit more like poetry than prose and distracted this reader.
2.) I say "dear God what should I do?"
--> I say, "Dear God! What should I do?"
--> I say, "Dear God, what should I do?"
3.) " Sonia!" a neighbor that I hardly know shouts, "come with us my sister has room for you too!"
--> " Sonia!" A neighbor I hardly know shouts, "Come with us! My sister has room for you, too!"
Thanks so much and good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Thanks for your helpful review.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello LauraLumummu a Fantastic Friday to you. I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed your 100 word Flash Fiction it was a good take on what the Ukrainian refugees are going through. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Hello LauraLumummu a Fantastic Friday to you. I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed your 100 word Flash Fiction it was a good take on what the Ukrainian refugees are going through. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Thanks for your review I appreciate it.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
This is very sad. And should have never happened. How would they feel if the shoe was on the other foot? What if someone bombed the ones who are destroying everything in sight? Killing innocent people. They will pay.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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This is very sad. And should have never happened. How would they feel if the shoe was on the other foot? What if someone bombed the ones who are destroying everything in sight? Killing innocent people. They will pay.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Thanks for your thoughtful review.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Sally Law
Yes, it is hard to imagine the angst and fears these people have. I pray they know the Lord or will know Him. This is daily on my heart and on my mind. Our president seems more concerned with cryptocurrency at the moment and pointing fingers of blame. This situation grows worse by the day.
Improvements for your prose entry.
-I [say,] "Dear God, what should I do?" Comma before beginning quote marks.
-"Sonia!" [A] neighbor that I hardly know..." Capital A.
-Also, the formatting is off. This should look like a short flash fiction. I would hate to see this dismissed over the formatting. This is easily fixable in edit.
I hope this is helpful. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally XOs
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Yes, it is hard to imagine the angst and fears these people have. I pray they know the Lord or will know Him. This is daily on my heart and on my mind. Our president seems more concerned with cryptocurrency at the moment and pointing fingers of blame. This situation grows worse by the day.
Improvements for your prose entry.
-I [say,] "Dear God, what should I do?" Comma before beginning quote marks.
-"Sonia!" [A] neighbor that I hardly know..." Capital A.
-Also, the formatting is off. This should look like a short flash fiction. I would hate to see this dismissed over the formatting. This is easily fixable in edit.
I hope this is helpful. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally XOs
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Thank you Dear Sally for your helpful review, God bless you always.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A cameo of a moment of distress during conflict. The flow is good. The words are fitting to the scene. The images are clear. A sad scene without being maudlin.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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A cameo of a moment of distress during conflict. The flow is good. The words are fitting to the scene. The images are clear. A sad scene without being maudlin.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Thanks for reviewing.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Jay Squires
... And your prayer was answered by a neighbor. There is such a brotherhood and sisterhood shown by the citizens of neighboring countries. It's heart-warming ... as is your post. We should all keep praying for Ukraine.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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... And your prayer was answered by a neighbor. There is such a brotherhood and sisterhood shown by the citizens of neighboring countries. It's heart-warming ... as is your post. We should all keep praying for Ukraine.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2022
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Thanks Jay appreciate your review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Very good imagination to place yourself in the position of a Ukrainian refugee. I had a nightmare about it and can't think about it yet. I would suggest this change: . . . say, "Dear God, what . . .
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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Very good imagination to place yourself in the position of a Ukrainian refugee. I had a nightmare about it and can't think about it yet. I would suggest this change: . . . say, "Dear God, what . . .
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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Thanks so much Carol, it is the stuff of nightmares and we all are hit by mans inhumanity to man, war is horrible.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You are right, Ann, what a tragic event to know one has nothing--no place to go, no home to return too, etc. Your dialogue points that out well in your contest entry. I enjoyed reading it, though it is so sad.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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You are right, Ann, what a tragic event to know one has nothing--no place to go, no home to return too, etc. Your dialogue points that out well in your contest entry. I enjoyed reading it, though it is so sad.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
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Thanks so much for reviewing, it is unspeakably sad what the refugees go through.
