Reviews from

Night Hunter

A haiku describing the ghost like owl hunting in moonlight

8 total reviews 
Comment from juliaSjames
Excellent
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Hello Malcolm

Welcome to Fanstory.

If you're interested in haiku writing and Japanese short forms in general, do check out the clubs run by Gypsy Blue Rose. Click on the Social tab and follow the drop down menu.

That being said, there's a difference between haiku contests and 5/7/5 contests. The latter accepts entries on every theme under the sun, as long as the syllable count is correct.

Your poem is a brilliant entry for the 5/7/5 contest. In just a few words you evoke a terrifying sinister atmosphere. Love the symbolism of the owl in " grey moonlight".

"phantasmal" infers "pale". Suggest you watch repetition in these restricted syllables writes where every word counts.

Best of luck.

Stay safe and blessed

Julia




 Comment Written 21-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Thank you Julia
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
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First off welcome to FanStory, Malcolm. I think you will very much enjoy your time with the site, once you learn all the features.

This is a fine haiku, that can also serve as a 5/7/5 which is the contest you have entered.

To avoid possible disqualification, just change the subtitle to:

a poem describing the ghost-like owl hunting in moonlight.

Again, welcome and best of luck to you with the Contest Committee. :))

Gloria

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
    Thank you Gloria. How do I change the subtitle?
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
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Meets formatting requirements of the contest.

Paints clear picture of owl, hiding from its prey in the darkness, ready to hunt.

Should be a strong contender in this contest.

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
    Thank you Brett!
Comment from jessizero
Excellent
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Congratulations on the milestone post! Your poem was haunting in a good way. Thank you for choosing to share your work here. Keep up the good work!

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 16-Mar-2022
    Apologies, I thought I had replied! Getting old. Thank you so much for your kind words.
Comment from pa Banardi
Poor
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What is this sorry but this makes hardly no sense with out more body words....picture was good but this was so short it looked like you didn't want to write..please don't be afraid of writing ..what you did was good just way to short

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
    I think you may be looking at something else? This was a 5-7-5 Haiku so could not be longer. Thanks.
Comment from Aubree Lorraine
Excellent
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Hello and welcome! Congratulations on your first post!

I like this poem. The imagery is there and it works. It's well written. Good job and best wishes!

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
    Thank you, it means a lot.
Comment from in777wr#
Excellent
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This is a well written poem. Your poem flows well. Each line connecting with the next line well. Your5-7-5 syllable count is on point. Congratulations on your first post. Nice job.

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
    Thank you!
Comment from the13thpoet
Excellent
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Hello Malcolm a merry Monday to you. I hope this finds you well. Let me say welcome to FanStory and let me congratulate you on your first post. Good job and good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 14-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
    Thank you