The Tor
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "The Spiritual Gauntlet"Adventures around & upon a hill
10 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Ok, now I see she ended up in a monk's garb, but still not sure why she would lie down on the floor and not keep looking for a way out. Also, you say she spun around in the utter darkness. If you try to move fast in utter darkness, you lose your balance.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
  |
Ok, now I see she ended up in a monk's garb, but still not sure why she would lie down on the floor and not keep looking for a way out. Also, you say she spun around in the utter darkness. If you try to move fast in utter darkness, you lose your balance.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for your involved review. Her spinning around caused her to ram her toe and shin, thus alerting her to some piece of furniture.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Another well written chapter. I'm not quite sure where they are in the darkness. I thought of an abduction of sorts. Anyway, I enjoy your style of writing and will read on!
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
|
Another well written chapter. I'm not quite sure where they are in the darkness. I thought of an abduction of sorts. Anyway, I enjoy your style of writing and will read on!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for your involved review. The reader has more chances for guesses than the character. If you sign up to be a fan, you will not miss any chapters or you can go to my portfolio & not have to write a review if you don't want to take the time.
Comment from in777wr#
This is a very captivating story. From beginning to end the story reads well. Great details about being in another place, the darkness, the clothing,and the other things encountered. Nice story.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
|
This is a very captivating story. From beginning to end the story reads well. Great details about being in another place, the darkness, the clothing,and the other things encountered. Nice story.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for your involved review. If you wanted to read the previous chapters, you can go to my portfolio & not have to write a review if you don't want to take the time.
-
You are welcome.
-
***smile***
-
You are welcome.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I found this chapter to be powerful as well as essentially spooky and scary. It disturbed me in a way none of your other chapters of this book have so far, and made me want to race as I read, to reach the end. Perhaps this was the reaction you were seeking.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
|
I found this chapter to be powerful as well as essentially spooky and scary. It disturbed me in a way none of your other chapters of this book have so far, and made me want to race as I read, to reach the end. Perhaps this was the reaction you were seeking.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for your interactive review. Yes, I want the reader to experience the bit of hell, the main character is experiencing. Now all of the other weird foreshadowing reactions they've experienced will make terrible sense.
Comment from aryr
This was a great continuation chapter, Liz. I can't imagine the excitement that engulfed Madeline, Cordelia, Karin and Cyndy as they eventually came upon the entrance to the Monastery. They had safely passed through the spiritual gauntlet. But then again Madeline was suddenly passed to a different world, I think she became one of the Monks. Very interesting, well done and greatly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
|
This was a great continuation chapter, Liz. I can't imagine the excitement that engulfed Madeline, Cordelia, Karin and Cyndy as they eventually came upon the entrance to the Monastery. They had safely passed through the spiritual gauntlet. But then again Madeline was suddenly passed to a different world, I think she became one of the Monks. Very interesting, well done and greatly enjoyed.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for your ever enthusiastic review. I'm glad to know how it is coming across.
-
You are so very welcome, Liz.
-
***smile***
Comment from Judy Lawless
I was glad to read in your notes that this tale was not true, as far as your fate was concerned at least, Liz. You've done a fine job of writing the results of your research into this bit of fiction. Well done. I look forward to the continuation.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
|
I was glad to read in your notes that this tale was not true, as far as your fate was concerned at least, Liz. You've done a fine job of writing the results of your research into this bit of fiction. Well done. I look forward to the continuation.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for your ever enthusiastic review. I'm glad to know how it is coming across. Yes, this past life stuff was inspired when I read that a contest was published a long time ago to write about a past life experience. What better take off from a place we felt very 'past life' connected.
-
You're most welcome, Liz.
-
***smile***
Comment from Leann DS
I think this is an exceptional chapter. The way you described her discovery of the differences from when she stood outside and now are very effective. I like that we know she's not in the same time, but she has no idea. That's called something in literature... I read about it not long ago... But I forget what it is. :-)
In any event, great job. Keep writing! Hugs, and have a great Sunday.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
 |
I think this is an exceptional chapter. The way you described her discovery of the differences from when she stood outside and now are very effective. I like that we know she's not in the same time, but she has no idea. That's called something in literature... I read about it not long ago... But I forget what it is. :-)
In any event, great job. Keep writing! Hugs, and have a great Sunday.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for your ever enthusiastic review. I'm glad to know how it is coming across. I'm you are enjoying it so much. And I just noticed the 6 shiny ones. I'm humbled.
Comment from Jay Squires
I remember reading the last chapter of this and enjoying it, Liz. I'm glad you continued on with it.
Here are a few notes as I read.
the Abbots were taken to the Tor and hung to their death. [I think that "to their death" here is a bit of "over-kill", no pun intended.]
I barely heard her last breath as the words upon the wall blurred and swirled. [Liz, since last breath can imply dying, and here refer to the chief Abbot Richard, I believe I would use the name of the person (the other of the two protagonists) here, and avoid the confusion.]
'We were here.' and I stepped down into darkness. [I LOVE that transition, "I stepped down into darkness ... but you need a comma, not a period after "here". Either that, or capitalize "And".]
or maybe it was just the thump, thump of my own heart. [Good!]
Your description, both actual and emotional, of being in absolute darkness was quite good! In fact, this chapter should draw in a lot of new fans of the girls' adventures.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
|
I remember reading the last chapter of this and enjoying it, Liz. I'm glad you continued on with it.
Here are a few notes as I read.
the Abbots were taken to the Tor and hung to their death. [I think that "to their death" here is a bit of "over-kill", no pun intended.]
I barely heard her last breath as the words upon the wall blurred and swirled. [Liz, since last breath can imply dying, and here refer to the chief Abbot Richard, I believe I would use the name of the person (the other of the two protagonists) here, and avoid the confusion.]
'We were here.' and I stepped down into darkness. [I LOVE that transition, "I stepped down into darkness ... but you need a comma, not a period after "here". Either that, or capitalize "And".]
or maybe it was just the thump, thump of my own heart. [Good!]
Your description, both actual and emotional, of being in absolute darkness was quite good! In fact, this chapter should draw in a lot of new fans of the girls' adventures.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for your supportive review. We later find out ***Spoiler***the chief was hung & quartered. You said, "hung to their death. [I think that "to their death" here is a bit of "over-kill", no pun intended.] Are you sure the PUn wasn't intended? I loved it. It's very much like something I might say. Thank you for your observations which I will attend to.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
The more I read of your story the more I'm determined to go. It won't be until the spring is fully here, and it won't happen if the fuel rises any higher! It's at a ridiculous price now.
You've really painted a horrific picture here, those poor monks! I can understand why this place is haunted. I'm looking forward to the next part. Well done, Liz! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
|
The more I read of your story the more I'm determined to go. It won't be until the spring is fully here, and it won't happen if the fuel rises any higher! It's at a ridiculous price now.
You've really painted a horrific picture here, those poor monks! I can understand why this place is haunted. I'm looking forward to the next part. Well done, Liz! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for your supportive review. I'm so glad you ever caught this story. It sounds like it's perfect for you.
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! Super post here where you plunged us into the past or the past life? I like that you don't say you were in a monk's robe but had us guessing just as the narrator was trying to figure where she was and what she was wearing. I wonder if this is happening to everyone else as well. Did the floor lead to some space/time/spirit travel?
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
|
Wow! Super post here where you plunged us into the past or the past life? I like that you don't say you were in a monk's robe but had us guessing just as the narrator was trying to figure where she was and what she was wearing. I wonder if this is happening to everyone else as well. Did the floor lead to some space/time/spirit travel?
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
-
Thank you for your ever supportive review. It's good to know how it is coming across and that it is having the effect I hoped for.
-
Great job, Liz!!