Goodbye to Winter
Worn out winter leaves to make room for spring.15 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Verna,
I love it! I'm not sure how I missed it - so glad you mentioned it to me. I wouldn't classify it as a haiku but it's a remarkable 5/7/5. Wow! The lyrical nature of the words only add to the images that are so perfectly contrasted here. LOVE IT!
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
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Verna,
I love it! I'm not sure how I missed it - so glad you mentioned it to me. I wouldn't classify it as a haiku but it's a remarkable 5/7/5. Wow! The lyrical nature of the words only add to the images that are so perfectly contrasted here. LOVE IT!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2022
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Thank you, my friend. Hugs!
Comment from Sally Law
Congratulations, Verna! Welcome back to FanStory! I'm sorry to have missed this in the contest. I entered at the hour. I will fan you now. Blessings to you always,
Sally Law XOs
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2022
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Congratulations, Verna! Welcome back to FanStory! I'm sorry to have missed this in the contest. I entered at the hour. I will fan you now. Blessings to you always,
Sally Law XOs
Comment Written 14-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much, Sally, for the review--and becoming a fan. I'll fan you, too. It's good to meet a fellow writer. I've always wished to be a novelist, but it wasn't to be, so I've been happy to write mostly poetry. I have great admiration for you from your story.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 poetry contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Nice presentation and imagery.
You don't need punctuation and the dash is unnecessary because there's no pause... It reads like a complete sentence.
Congratulations winning the first place. Well done.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2022
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Excellent entry for the 5-7-5 poetry contest. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Nice presentation and imagery.
You don't need punctuation and the dash is unnecessary because there's no pause... It reads like a complete sentence.
Congratulations winning the first place. Well done.
Gypsy
Comment Written 14-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for the good review. I questioned the comma before 'while' when I placed it, but I thought the dash belonged in satin-slippered?
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Winter trudges off
in worn out boots, while satin- (while satin- .... it's missing something to complete the thought)
slippered spring whirls in.
Suggestion....
Winter trudges off
in worn out boots as satin
slippers whirls in.spring
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I can see the confusion. It was one adjective modifying another-
satin-slippered spring. It was awkward because of the line break.
Comment from lyenochka
This is lovely! Sorry I didn't see this in time for the contest as I don't always check the contests.
I loved the contrasts of the winter boots "trudging off" and "satin- slippered Spring whirls in!" Beautiful imagery.
Well deserved win!!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2022
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This is lovely! Sorry I didn't see this in time for the contest as I don't always check the contests.
I loved the contrasts of the winter boots "trudging off" and "satin- slippered Spring whirls in!" Beautiful imagery.
Well deserved win!!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2022
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Thanks, friend!
Comment from zanya
This is a tiny format of poetry but filled with optimism and hope for the new season of Spring on its way to lift our weary spirits - and a super pic to illustrate -should reach the winner's enclosure -deserves a 6!
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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This is a tiny format of poetry but filled with optimism and hope for the new season of Spring on its way to lift our weary spirits - and a super pic to illustrate -should reach the winner's enclosure -deserves a 6!
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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Thanks a million for a lovely review and big hugs for the 6 star rating!
Comment from jaded831
You made me smile with your 5-7-5 poem. It has everything change of season, change of clothing, while sparks the Easter season when as a child meant new spring outfits, well done.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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You made me smile with your 5-7-5 poem. It has everything change of season, change of clothing, while sparks the Easter season when as a child meant new spring outfits, well done.
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for your kind review!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
No one is ever sad when winter decides to go, only when summer leaves are we saddened, a poignant write, now we can wear our sandals again, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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No one is ever sad when winter decides to go, only when summer leaves are we saddened, a poignant write, now we can wear our sandals again, love Dolly x
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much, Dolly, for your kind review!
Comment from Wendy G
I like this a lot. It's a great image of winter and spring for you. Here in Australia many of us prefer winter as it's refreshingly cool, relatively short, and many of us never see snow. It's like an English summer, but our summer can be extremely hot and long and very draining. Not this year though, it was extremely wet!
Great entry. Best wishes for it.
Wendy
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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I like this a lot. It's a great image of winter and spring for you. Here in Australia many of us prefer winter as it's refreshingly cool, relatively short, and many of us never see snow. It's like an English summer, but our summer can be extremely hot and long and very draining. Not this year though, it was extremely wet!
Great entry. Best wishes for it.
Wendy
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for this kind review and the best wishes in the contest!
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, Goodbye to Winter, has the right set up and has the seasons dressed in the proper footwear for their exits and entrances. Nice.
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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This 5-7-5, Goodbye to Winter, has the right set up and has the seasons dressed in the proper footwear for their exits and entrances. Nice.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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Think you so much, Bill, for this kind review!
Comment from Mark D. R.
Good contrasting thoughts you have penned for this contest entry. IMHO your overall presentation value will be enhanced if you increase your type size to 20-22 point.
Should 'spring' in your verse be capitalized?
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Good contrasting thoughts you have penned for this contest entry. IMHO your overall presentation value will be enhanced if you increase your type size to 20-22 point.
Should 'spring' in your verse be capitalized?
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Thank you for the good review and for the suggestion for font. I'm still learning here and appreciate the help. The seasons aren't generally capitalized, but they can be if personified. I have in some poems.
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I agree generally with your seasonal preference. Unless of course, there is actually a spring (device) that is satin-slippered LOL
If you want to increase your font size, toggle to the advanced mode at the bottom left of the text book. At this location, you will have lots of choices for your text look.
