The tyranny of silence
Coping with ...28 total reviews
Comment from Frances Jean
Oh Wendy my heart goes out to you. You had an impossible childhood and adolescence. Thank goodness you found love in your husband and children. Don't ever doubt your worthiness and successes. You are a wonderful accomplished writer...be proud. Luvyer Franky
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2022
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Oh Wendy my heart goes out to you. You had an impossible childhood and adolescence. Thank goodness you found love in your husband and children. Don't ever doubt your worthiness and successes. You are a wonderful accomplished writer...be proud. Luvyer Franky
Comment Written 23-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much Franky. I found it very hard to write, but have had a lot of encouragement and support from FS friends. My husband and children don?t know these details as I have never been able to speak over them, just that my childhood was not happy. Also I didn?t want them to think badly of my family. I appreciate your lovely words of encouragement. Hugs.
Wendy
Comment from MissMerri
Such a well-told, moving story, Wendy. I was moved to tears as I read this, feeling so sorry for what you and your siblings had to endure. My parents were so different, and I know I and my sisters were supremely blessed. There was always love, both spoken and demonstrated, and that's what I wish every family could experience. You are blessed to have the love of your Heavenly Father in your life, and the healing His love can bring. I'm thankful for that. You are an excellent writer. Congratulations on the prize this story won. It was certainly well-deserved. MM
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2022
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Such a well-told, moving story, Wendy. I was moved to tears as I read this, feeling so sorry for what you and your siblings had to endure. My parents were so different, and I know I and my sisters were supremely blessed. There was always love, both spoken and demonstrated, and that's what I wish every family could experience. You are blessed to have the love of your Heavenly Father in your life, and the healing His love can bring. I'm thankful for that. You are an excellent writer. Congratulations on the prize this story won. It was certainly well-deserved. MM
Comment Written 22-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 22-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much MissMerri. Six stars from you (one of my most highly esteemed poets) is a valuable gift and honour, and I greatly appreciate it. God has a beautiful way of healing our hurts, not instantaneous necessarily, but over time - and we appreciate His love all the more because of it.
Wendy
Comment from Carlos' girl
This is very well written. I felt you made your childhood very well heard. You gave it a voice and I understood. That the children don't know their sins is so true. In the dysfunctional family the child does indeed take on roles such as peacemaker, diplomat, etc. Well stated herein.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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This is very well written. I felt you made your childhood very well heard. You gave it a voice and I understood. That the children don't know their sins is so true. In the dysfunctional family the child does indeed take on roles such as peacemaker, diplomat, etc. Well stated herein.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much for your thoughtful and understanding review.
Wendy
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It was very well written and I felt well deserved sympathy for the children
Comment from Annmuma
I don't know how many other things you do really, really well. I suspect there are many. I do know that your writing is exceptional! The story obviously comes from the heart and it reaches the heart of every reader. It is well written and I am glad I had the opportunity to read it.
I saw one small spag thing: We moved house frequently, I understand what you mean, but I am not certain that is what you wrote.
ann
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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I don't know how many other things you do really, really well. I suspect there are many. I do know that your writing is exceptional! The story obviously comes from the heart and it reaches the heart of every reader. It is well written and I am glad I had the opportunity to read it.
I saw one small spag thing: We moved house frequently, I understand what you mean, but I am not certain that is what you wrote.
ann
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much Ann. Your words and comments are very encouraging.
That is the Australian way of saying it but I might change the wording slightly, to be clearer. Thank you for the beautiful stars. That?s another gift too, greatly valued for what it represents.
Wendy
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Okay. Didn't recognize the Australian way of saying it. Thanks for educating me. ann
Comment from Sally Law
This must've been difficult to write for you, Wendy dear. Brava for being so brace. We have had the same environment growing up except my mother left my dad and his alcoholic behavior before it killed us all. My mother was very loving and protective and did the best she could. She understood what it was doing to the kids though and packed us in the car and left in the night.
Like you, my relationship with Jesus Christ has made all the difference in my life.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the contest,
Sal XOs...
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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This must've been difficult to write for you, Wendy dear. Brava for being so brace. We have had the same environment growing up except my mother left my dad and his alcoholic behavior before it killed us all. My mother was very loving and protective and did the best she could. She understood what it was doing to the kids though and packed us in the car and left in the night.
Like you, my relationship with Jesus Christ has made all the difference in my life.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the contest,
Sal XOs...
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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Thank you Sally!
What a difficult childhood you had too!
Yes, it was hard to write? even just thinking about it all again. But new life in Jesus means one can cope, learn to understand and forgive, and move on, with His help. Thank you for the honour of six stars. That means a lot, as do your kind and understanding words.
Wendy
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Yes, Jesus is the great healer! Be blessed, Wendy dear,
Sal XOs
Comment from humpwhistle
A soul-crushing memoir, Wendy. Some of it sounds quite familiar, but tuned down a notch or two. Love was a luxury rarely afforded in my house, too. Family life seemed more about maintaining a strict equilibrium, than nurturing and growing. In retrospect, I can see my parents as people whose growth was stunted rushing into parenthood before they were mature themselves.
Anyway, a very expressive account of a sad childhood.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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A soul-crushing memoir, Wendy. Some of it sounds quite familiar, but tuned down a notch or two. Love was a luxury rarely afforded in my house, too. Family life seemed more about maintaining a strict equilibrium, than nurturing and growing. In retrospect, I can see my parents as people whose growth was stunted rushing into parenthood before they were mature themselves.
Anyway, a very expressive account of a sad childhood.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 13-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much Lee. I appreciate your thoughtful review! Also value the six stars. That?s greatly encouraging, and I appreciate the honour. I think that generation found it hard to express love- maybe that?s what gave rise to the hippy movement and "All you need is love" ideas of the sixties.
Wendy
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
This memoir essay is devastatingly truthful and real. My heart goes out to you for your sad childhood and I was happy to read that you are learning to go beyond the ingrained habits that resulted from these tortuous years. Some of your writing is as beautiful and emotional as poetry. I especially love the sentence: "The thunder of the "adults" arguing, the jagged lightning of hurtful words, the torrents of emotional abuse, the outpouring of anger, of bitterness, hopelessness." You use clear and consistent images of water, rain, and storms. Final sentence of the same paragraph ties it together: "A professional forecaster of the weather of emotions at eight years old." The use of the repetitive sentences at the end of some paragraphs ("A twelve year-old counsellor." & "An emergency and crisis counsellor at fourteen.") is very effective. Thanks for your bravery sharing this story.
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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This memoir essay is devastatingly truthful and real. My heart goes out to you for your sad childhood and I was happy to read that you are learning to go beyond the ingrained habits that resulted from these tortuous years. Some of your writing is as beautiful and emotional as poetry. I especially love the sentence: "The thunder of the "adults" arguing, the jagged lightning of hurtful words, the torrents of emotional abuse, the outpouring of anger, of bitterness, hopelessness." You use clear and consistent images of water, rain, and storms. Final sentence of the same paragraph ties it together: "A professional forecaster of the weather of emotions at eight years old." The use of the repetitive sentences at the end of some paragraphs ("A twelve year-old counsellor." & "An emergency and crisis counsellor at fourteen.") is very effective. Thanks for your bravery sharing this story.
Comment Written 12-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 12-Mar-2022
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Thank you! Your review shows thoughtfulness and compassion, as well as great understanding. I appreciate very much your kind and encouraging comments.
Wendy
Comment from Judy Lawless
What a heartfelt story, Wendy! You've done an excellent job of sharing it with us. I'm so glad that you eventually found your own voice and a better understanding as to why there was no love in your family.
In many ways I can relate to this. I don't remember my parents ever arguing, but I also don't remember anyone saying "I love you" until I was an adult who tried to take care of my mom. Another story. I don't like confrontation, but I've learned to stand up for myself too. I've also learned to pick my battles. Some aren't worth the drama.
Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2022
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What a heartfelt story, Wendy! You've done an excellent job of sharing it with us. I'm so glad that you eventually found your own voice and a better understanding as to why there was no love in your family.
In many ways I can relate to this. I don't remember my parents ever arguing, but I also don't remember anyone saying "I love you" until I was an adult who tried to take care of my mom. Another story. I don't like confrontation, but I've learned to stand up for myself too. I've also learned to pick my battles. Some aren't worth the drama.
Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2022
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Thanks so much Judy, for such a kind and understanding
review. I also greatly value the honour of six stars.
Very humbling.
Wendy
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You are very welcome, Wendy.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
SSSSSStupendous. Apologies--as a nonmember, I don't have the option of giving 6 stars--makes no sense--regardless, this piece is magnificent. Haunting and ultimately uplifting. Did they divorce and/or find peace?
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2022
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SSSSSStupendous. Apologies--as a nonmember, I don't have the option of giving 6 stars--makes no sense--regardless, this piece is magnificent. Haunting and ultimately uplifting. Did they divorce and/or find peace?
Comment Written 10-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2022
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They stayed together "for the sake of the children". Lol. Thanks heaps!
They divorced when I was in my mid twenties. My father remained alone, my mother remarried in her late fifties but her second husband died of cancer about seven years later. My parents got on better when they weren?t under the same roof.
Thanks so much for reviewing. I do appreciate your lovely words.
Wendy
Comment from WalkerMan
From conversations we have had, and what I have read so far of your writing, I would never have guessed what a traumatic childhood you had, through no fault of your own. Yet, though you were not aware at the time, God was with you, as how you protected and comforted your younger siblings was the beginning of how you would be as a caring mother in adulthood. Along the way, you witnessed the harm caused by unmitigated parental strife, endlessly switching from excessively audible arguing to heartrending silence for unbearably long periods of time, and never a mention of love the whole time.
Once you were old enough to escape, God brought you a man who would understand and treat you kindly, for he did see you as worthy of his love. In that environment, you were able to be who you were meant to be, a loving wife and a caring mother to children you raised to know unconditional love and pass it on to their own offspring. You even managed to forgive your parents for the pain their own lives caused (as the apt illustration represents).
Thus, you became a success at life, overcoming past obstacles and anguish, and making a far better life for your own husband and kids, creating a lasting legacy of love. Brava!
Accordingly, do not feel embarrassed or vulnerable by revealing your past in this essay, for you can see by the reviews that you are not alone nor in any way deserving of blame. Your friends here empathize and commend your success at the most important part of life -- knowing God's presence in your life, and realizing who you truly are in the world He created, His school for soul development.
This is a superb expression of difficult personal history, well written, and worthy of respect for your courage in releasing it to public scrutiny, as its reviews show. By doing so, you have cast the demon of past anguish out far enough to become a fading memory without hold on your life ahead.
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
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From conversations we have had, and what I have read so far of your writing, I would never have guessed what a traumatic childhood you had, through no fault of your own. Yet, though you were not aware at the time, God was with you, as how you protected and comforted your younger siblings was the beginning of how you would be as a caring mother in adulthood. Along the way, you witnessed the harm caused by unmitigated parental strife, endlessly switching from excessively audible arguing to heartrending silence for unbearably long periods of time, and never a mention of love the whole time.
Once you were old enough to escape, God brought you a man who would understand and treat you kindly, for he did see you as worthy of his love. In that environment, you were able to be who you were meant to be, a loving wife and a caring mother to children you raised to know unconditional love and pass it on to their own offspring. You even managed to forgive your parents for the pain their own lives caused (as the apt illustration represents).
Thus, you became a success at life, overcoming past obstacles and anguish, and making a far better life for your own husband and kids, creating a lasting legacy of love. Brava!
Accordingly, do not feel embarrassed or vulnerable by revealing your past in this essay, for you can see by the reviews that you are not alone nor in any way deserving of blame. Your friends here empathize and commend your success at the most important part of life -- knowing God's presence in your life, and realizing who you truly are in the world He created, His school for soul development.
This is a superb expression of difficult personal history, well written, and worthy of respect for your courage in releasing it to public scrutiny, as its reviews show. By doing so, you have cast the demon of past anguish out far enough to become a fading memory without hold on your life ahead.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
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Your review was so beautiful, so kind, true and encouraging. It made me even a bit emotional! From one who never wept about anything even when very upset, till I was in my sixties!!!
You understand and are very compassionate, and it helps to know that there are many such caring people on this site. Thank you for your six stars too. They mean a lot as it is a great honour. But your words and thoughtfulness and the time you spent on your review mean even more!
Blessings to you in abundance.
Wendy
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You are most welcome, Wendy; and you well earned the sixth star.
Your sincere words effectively transmit the deep emotion behind them, evoking the empathy behind my response.
This post is a strong contender in its contest. Whatever happens there, you are still a winner at life, which matters more. :)) -- Mike
