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Contest Entry and Winners

Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "A Loss Greater Than One"
Short Stories

29 total reviews 
Comment from Versch
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Oh wow! I am shocked that a brother you thought you have known all your life could change just like that because of the inheritance. This reminds me of my own brother who did even worse. Congratulations on your win. You deserve it.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Unfortunately, I was just fooling myself that he wasn't always like that because when I look back over time, I realize everything he did was calculated to benefit himself. Thanks so much.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Excellent
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Sometimes relatives get what they deserve for not giving their love and attention when it was needed.
Congratulations on your win. It is so sad it is a true story.
In how you wrote this with the emotions you were feeling rather than a matter of factly made this a winner.
People get funny when it comes to wills even if there is no controversy, some want control over the situation even though they are not the executor of the estate.
Best wishes,
Mary

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Unfortunately, I was just fooling myself that he wasn't always like that because when I look back over time, I realize everything he did was calculated to benefit himself. Thanks so much.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Heartrending tale. This may well be a winner. From all you've written of Gene, he sounds like a sociopath. Stunning ending packs a brutal punch--well-deserved. Brilliant piece.

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Unfortunately, I was just fooling myself that he wasn't always like that because when I look back over time, I realize everything he did was calculated to benefit himself. Thanks so much.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by Elizabeth Emerald on 26-Mar-2022
    I remember how he tormented you as a child.
Comment from Bill Schott
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This story, A Loss Greater Than One, is a cool tale of comeuppance served at the targets request. So very fine a happening in your story. Loved it.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Unfortunately, I was just fooling myself that he wasn't always like that because when I look back over time, I realize everything he did was calculated to benefit himself. Thanks so much.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi Carol, that was a harrowing true story. For a parent to exclude her or his child from getting anything must be a pretty big decision and I would assume they would have some compelling reasons for doing so. You told your story so very well. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Unfortunately, I was just fooling myself that he wasn't always like that because when I look back over time, I realize everything he did was calculated to benefit himself. Thanks so much.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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It is difficult to be a representative of family members in an estate. A person is always thankful if everyone gets along. It would be wonderful if an estate was already completed before a person expires.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Unfortunately, I was just fooling myself that he wasn't always like that because when I look back over time, I realize everything he did was calculated to benefit himself. Thanks so much.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed reading your story, you did a nice job with the prompt. My aging eyes appreciate the bold text. The dialogue reads naturally and pulled my inside your story. As writers that's an important part of storytelling.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 21-Mar-2022
    Unfortunately, I was just fooling myself that he wasn't always like that because when I look back over time, I realize everything he did was calculated to benefit himself. Thanks so much.

    Smiles, Carol
Comment from dmt1967
Excellent
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Family is hard and I have been where you are with cousins and sister. This is very well written and the story flowed really well although, it must have been hard to write. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest. Take care, my friend.

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
    Thank you....

    I hate to relive the past but each time it is a reminder of how gullible I am. I caved and gave him money even knowing my Mom's last choice was not to do it. But I also know she would have reconsidered just because she was his Mom.

    Smioles, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A well-written, but sad story. Your mother was shrewd in making her will, and making it plain what your brother would inherit for his lack of kindness to her. You told the story with great suspense and good dialogue. Best wishes in the contest. Blessings. Carol

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
    My mother and I shared a wonderful year before her passing and that will always be the greatest gift of all. I got to know her so much more than all the rest of the years of my life. My brother will never have the chance to understand what made our Mom.

    Smiles, Carol
reply by Carol Clark2 on 10-Mar-2022
    I'm glad you had this special time with your mom.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
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It's amazing that this is a true story. It sounds like a television drama with a surprise ending. I've known of families where one sibling cared for an ailing parent, but other siblings insisted on sharing an inheritance. Fortunately, Margaret E. had everything spelled out in a will. Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
    Good morning, Lorraine

    I gave up my business and cared for my parents and my terminal husband for ten years... All my brother could see is the pot at the end of the rainbow. Too bad he missed out on the real gold!! The last year of her life was a very very special time for the two of us.

    Smiles, Carol