30th Birthday
A contest entry18 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
30th Birthday
by aryr
LoL kids! 30 is so young but to your son it felt like very old. I can understand. It was a sweet gift and gesture, a sign he loved you very much. Well done, Aryr, beautiful poem. I'm happy you are having a good long life. Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
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30th Birthday
by aryr
LoL kids! 30 is so young but to your son it felt like very old. I can understand. It was a sweet gift and gesture, a sign he loved you very much. Well done, Aryr, beautiful poem. I'm happy you are having a good long life. Blessed be.
Gypsy hugs
Comment Written 09-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2022
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Thank you so very much, Gypsy for reviewing and your amazing comments. Blessed be n hugs.
Comment from Judy Lawless
What a sweet story, Ali. It's nice that you and your sister could celebrate this birthday together. I wonder where your son got the idea you were old enough to die at age thirty! Too cute. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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What a sweet story, Ali. It's nice that you and your sister could celebrate this birthday together. I wonder where your son got the idea you were old enough to die at age thirty! Too cute. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much Judy for reviewing and your kind comments.
Comment from Spitfire
Comical. Thirty does seem so old (and close to dying) to a young boy. I rated this only four stars because of overuse of passive voice. Check your first paragraph. You use the word "was" five times. How about ... I couldn't wait to celebrate. My mother planned dinner... Since ( Awkward to start a sentence with 'because') my sister celebrated her...
You get the idea, I hope.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Comical. Thirty does seem so old (and close to dying) to a young boy. I rated this only four stars because of overuse of passive voice. Check your first paragraph. You use the word "was" five times. How about ... I couldn't wait to celebrate. My mother planned dinner... Since ( Awkward to start a sentence with 'because') my sister celebrated her...
You get the idea, I hope.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for reviewing and your great comments.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Alie.
That is a very funny story. What's interesting, is how everyone looks at age. The term "old" moves farther out as we age.
Another thing that stands out in the story is the honesty of children. Your son expressed exactly what he was thinking and feeling. I remember my 30th birthday over 45 years ago. HAHAHA
Robert
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Hello Alie.
That is a very funny story. What's interesting, is how everyone looks at age. The term "old" moves farther out as we age.
Another thing that stands out in the story is the honesty of children. Your son expressed exactly what he was thinking and feeling. I remember my 30th birthday over 45 years ago. HAHAHA
Robert
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much Robert for reviewing and your fantastic comments. MMmm it couldn't be much over 45 years.
Comment from karenina
ThIs made me smile. I remember as a teen being told to not trust anyone over thirty! Ancient, it was! Now I'm more than twice that and have children, like you, in their forties... Age is just a number! IQ? That's important! Lol...
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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ThIs made me smile. I remember as a teen being told to not trust anyone over thirty! Ancient, it was! Now I'm more than twice that and have children, like you, in their forties... Age is just a number! IQ? That's important! Lol...
Karenina
Comment Written 07-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much Karenina for reviewing and your amazing comments. I agree-age is but a number now an IQ that definitely is a number to be concerned about. LOL
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Age is an amazing thing - we used to look at people in their 60-70s as if they were croaking that moment. Now that I'm there ...
Well written. Good work.
"older than me. We decided that we" - previous sentence is incomplete. Comma here would work.
"It was decided" - passive. We decided would be better.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Age is an amazing thing - we used to look at people in their 60-70s as if they were croaking that moment. Now that I'm there ...
Well written. Good work.
"older than me. We decided that we" - previous sentence is incomplete. Comma here would work.
"It was decided" - passive. We decided would be better.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much Wayne for reviewing and your amazing comments.
Comment from Anne Johnston
I enjoyed your story very much, and I hope you do well in the contest. Its's strange that when you are young 30 looks old, but as we age our perception changes.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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I enjoyed your story very much, and I hope you do well in the contest. Its's strange that when you are young 30 looks old, but as we age our perception changes.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much Anne for reviewing and your great comments.
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You are welcome
Comment from poetwatch
Hi Alie. It's a good entry for the True Story Contest. Could I suggest a little change? Lose the "Because" start with "My sister" "It was decided(as) we sat" "other and open" (to) open "as I hugged him" (and) I hugged him.
Like I said these are only suggestions, you are the writer. :)
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Hi Alie. It's a good entry for the True Story Contest. Could I suggest a little change? Lose the "Because" start with "My sister" "It was decided(as) we sat" "other and open" (to) open "as I hugged him" (and) I hugged him.
Like I said these are only suggestions, you are the writer. :)
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much Jose for reviewing and your great comments, I will fix those in a moment.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Ha ha ha, you made me smile here with your little story and I am glad you are both alive and kicking! His tears for you on your birthday are so sweet though, a touching write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Ha ha ha, you made me smile here with your little story and I am glad you are both alive and kicking! His tears for you on your birthday are so sweet though, a touching write, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 06-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for reviewing and your kind comments.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
I'll explain the 4 first. You have some writing errors. I'll point them out IF you want me to. Your personal narrative is descriptive and moving, a heartwarming look at a family scene.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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I'll explain the 4 first. You have some writing errors. I'll point them out IF you want me to. Your personal narrative is descriptive and moving, a heartwarming look at a family scene.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much Janice for reviewing and your comments.
