All The Wrong Reasons
How I met my husband; as hard as I tried to avoid him.6 total reviews
Comment from Erika Seshadri
Hello, this is a great entry for the Sentence Starts the Story contest. I love where you went with it after the required sentence, and chuckled at your list of requirements, as I had a very long often-revised list when I was younger.
The last sentence is a perfect ending to the story.
Thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your writing. Feel free to come visit my profile if you ever have a minute.
Cheers!
Erika
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Hello, this is a great entry for the Sentence Starts the Story contest. I love where you went with it after the required sentence, and chuckled at your list of requirements, as I had a very long often-revised list when I was younger.
The last sentence is a perfect ending to the story.
Thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading more of your writing. Feel free to come visit my profile if you ever have a minute.
Cheers!
Erika
Comment Written 01-Aug-2022
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice story, happy ending and all.
But sorry to say that it reads somewhat choppy, like a book report that a student didn't want to write.
to change his major to Firefighter/Paramedic; much to his mother's chagrin. - semicolon needs a complete sentence on both sides
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
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Nice story, happy ending and all.
But sorry to say that it reads somewhat choppy, like a book report that a student didn't want to write.
to change his major to Firefighter/Paramedic; much to his mother's chagrin. - semicolon needs a complete sentence on both sides
Best wishes.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate it! I will definitely go back and take another look.
Comment from Jacob Louis Waldenmaier
Thanks for writing this delightful story about finding the man you never expected! I love your description of the tension between the items on your list and the qualities that your husband turned out to have. It's fascinating, too, how marriages can thrive even when there are religious and cultural differences. Sometimes they thrive *because* of them!
If you are seeking recommendations on how you can improve your writing, two growth areas / challenges are (1) avoiding cliche or commonly-used phrases, and (2) avoiding repeated or redundant words. Varying your expressions so that they're somewhat unexpected (yet still clear in their meaning) will make your writing even more interesting and pleasant to read!
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Thanks for writing this delightful story about finding the man you never expected! I love your description of the tension between the items on your list and the qualities that your husband turned out to have. It's fascinating, too, how marriages can thrive even when there are religious and cultural differences. Sometimes they thrive *because* of them!
If you are seeking recommendations on how you can improve your writing, two growth areas / challenges are (1) avoiding cliche or commonly-used phrases, and (2) avoiding repeated or redundant words. Varying your expressions so that they're somewhat unexpected (yet still clear in their meaning) will make your writing even more interesting and pleasant to read!
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much for your feedback! I will definitely look through it again!
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
I read the story, you have written your story and how you married and despite all the wrong reasons, you spent 15 years with him and got a child, but you never loved him for he was against your demands or requirements in him; you tried to remain single but afraid, you could not; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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I read the story, you have written your story and how you married and despite all the wrong reasons, you spent 15 years with him and got a child, but you never loved him for he was against your demands or requirements in him; you tried to remain single but afraid, you could not; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much!! That means the world to me
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have a good story here. You made the right choice in setting goals and then learning they meant nothing with the right person comes along. Best of luck with this in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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You have a good story here. You made the right choice in setting goals and then learning they meant nothing with the right person comes along. Best of luck with this in the contest.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much! That means the world to me.
Comment from lancellot
This is a good story. I think the most important thing to prevent disqualification is to address the beginning.
notes:
[I'm] glad you made it possible to love.
- you are missing the first word.
- also you changed the sentence by adding to it.
â?¢ He could not be Catholic. I was raised Baptist.
â?¢ He had to have blue eyes and blond hair.
â?¢ I was raised in the city so, absolutely no country boys.
â?¢ He could not drive a truck. In our town, boys who drove trucks were considered hillbillies.
â?¢ And of course, being a na�¯ve high schooler, he had to be hot!
- edit out these gremlins
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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This is a good story. I think the most important thing to prevent disqualification is to address the beginning.
notes:
[I'm] glad you made it possible to love.
- you are missing the first word.
- also you changed the sentence by adding to it.
â?¢ He could not be Catholic. I was raised Baptist.
â?¢ He had to have blue eyes and blond hair.
â?¢ I was raised in the city so, absolutely no country boys.
â?¢ He could not drive a truck. In our town, boys who drove trucks were considered hillbillies.
â?¢ And of course, being a na�¯ve high schooler, he had to be hot!
- edit out these gremlins
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for your feedback! I am still dipping my toes in the water and need all the help I can get
