Reviews from

Charlie

A brief story about my brother-in-law.

40 total reviews 
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Excellent
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A wonderful story about a man determined to better himself whether it was to give up drinking or earn his captain's license.
He sounds like he would be a good down-to-earth man to know.
I wish you luck in the contest.
Best wishes
Mary

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
    Thank you very much for the kind review.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Excellent
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This is a very interesting story about Charlie and his lifestyle while he was alive. Calling him a drunk does not offend me. I am aware of AA and their use of the term 'drunk' which they use affectionately among their kind. Charlie should be and it sounds like he was applauded for leaving his drinking behind him and going on the become a merchant seaman.
It is too bad he died prematurely yet it sounded like he lived a very full life.
An entertaining fellow Charlie was great with the ladies as well as had many friends in AA.
This tale about Charlie was enjoyable to read.
Thanks for letting me in on his life.
Whether he would have died a sober man is one question I believe I can answer...yes, he would have preferred to die without alcohol in his system.
My brother belongs to AA and he has over thirty years of sobriety I can safely say that he will probably never drink again as long as he is alive. He and I believe in their tenets.
Thanks for sharing and for letting me share as well.
Jesse

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
    Excellent review. You have a great insight into Charlie about him being great with ladies. I did not go into that aspect of his life. But, as a Merchant Marine, he did have a reputation for a girl in every port. He was never married. But knew lots of girlfriends. Thank you for the review.
reply by Jesse James Doty on 26-Feb-2022
    I am glad you liked my review.
    Have a wonderful weekend,
    Jesse
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Well written.
A little short-sighted with your closing. To have opted for a bar would have been an insult and a disgrace to all he stood for, a slap in the face to all those he'd sponsored and helped to sobriety.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
    Wayne, thank you for the review. You are right about the end. I do think he would opt for the gym. But knowing him, he would have expected the question, and he might have surprised me.
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Hi there,

Different take on this piece. Good choice to go non-fiction route. family's are always interesting fodder.

Not so much on the ships, but sometimes and always on land.- this line is awkward and confusing. Can't always be on land but sometimes on ships.

But he became a friend of Bill's and joined AA - who is Bill? We're not told about them previously or subsequently.

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
    Thank for the review and suggestions. The line you mentioned is a bit awkward. I am thinking about it.

    Members of AA go by first names only. A friend of Bill's refers to the founder of AA...Bill W.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
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Your personal essay about Charlie is very well-written, with good, detailed descriptions that moved me deeply--especially those about how he used his experiences to help others.

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
    Thank you very much, very kind of you.
Comment from joann r romei
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He seemed like a cool guy with an addiction problem just like many others, it is true, AA says to admit being an alcoholic, sad he died young. No errors noted.

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
    Thank you very much. He actually died at 73. He almost died at 35 from drinking but was sober for the last 38 years of his life. In AA he had 38 "birthdays.
Comment from Janice Goldfarb
Good
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This is well written. I love to read true things. It was smart to add a picture. your word grouping is great. It is a good thing there are people who are able to capture and write about the past and sharing it in the present, for who knows may be a better tomorrow. I would like to see more from you.

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2022

Comment from the13thpoet
Excellent
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Hello Mystery writer a fabulous Friday to you. I hope this finds you well. I like your Charlie writing prompt entry you executed it well and told a nice story. Good job and good luck. After all those years of sobriety I like to think he would have still chosen the gym, but then again if I'm going to die anyway, might as well have a toast to a life lived.

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 25-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your review, and you did address the $64 question. I don't know what he would have chosen.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Excellent
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This was a great story. Sound like he was one character. This actually hits home. My deceased husband went to AA for eleven years before he died. He chaired until he could no longer stand up without losing his breath.
He had not missed any meeting until the last two weeks. Thank you for posting.

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 25-Feb-2022
    Thank you very much for your comments and the review!
Comment from Jeff Watkins
Excellent
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For the most part, this is a well-written story. The prose is lean, compact. I especially liked he way you introduced your wife-to-be. BUT:
1. When I finally.... This is a sentence fragment.
2, almost died at 35.... While the context implies the reason, you still need to make the reason explicit.
3. I wanted.... Use present tense.
Good luck. Jeff

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 25-Feb-2022
    Thank for reading and the suggestions!
reply by Jeff Watkins on 28-Feb-2022
reply by Jeff Watkins on 28-Feb-2022