The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "The Return Chapter 9"Erotic Turmoil
34 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
Hi Sandra, I got chills when he walked over and wrapped his arms around her...
but the question is...if she Margot brings them back...
what happens to Margot???...and that's what she thinking...
this book Sandra is one of your best my amazing friend...
truly...I hate when it ends...so very well written sweet girl...
I'm going to keep this short beautiful you...I'm at Kristy's...and Noah has a baseball game tomorrow...and it's getting late...I'll email soon...
went start to the library and put 4 books in...and saw the ones I put in before...exciting...I'll check to see when they put then on the shelves...
going to bed...I love your story written you...sending much love from Florida...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
  |
Hi Sandra, I got chills when he walked over and wrapped his arms around her...
but the question is...if she Margot brings them back...
what happens to Margot???...and that's what she thinking...
this book Sandra is one of your best my amazing friend...
truly...I hate when it ends...so very well written sweet girl...
I'm going to keep this short beautiful you...I'm at Kristy's...and Noah has a baseball game tomorrow...and it's getting late...I'll email soon...
went start to the library and put 4 books in...and saw the ones I put in before...exciting...I'll check to see when they put then on the shelves...
going to bed...I love your story written you...sending much love from Florida...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2022
-
Hi, Linda, I'm so pleased you have arrived safely and hope you really enjoy your visit. Wish Noah good luck for me, in his baseball game! I hope his team wins. Is it nice and warm there?
Aw, thanks so much for putting those books in the library, you are an amazing friend and I love you sooo much. ❣️
Thank you so much for another wonderful review and that shiny golden star!!! I'm glad you are enjoying this story. It's quite different to the others I've written. I can't wait to get the next part down when Miles and Margot let me know what they want me to write!!! LOL.
Have a wonderful time, my wonderful friend! Love and hugs. Sandra xxxxxxx
-
I'll have to keep checking on when they'll
put them on the shelves...the first ones
took two weeks...the second ones were faster...
Noah won his game...by 11 points...he was so excited...they are so cute to watch...
and you beautiful girl are so welcome...so much love coming your way...xxoo
Comment from F. William Lester
The plot thickens. I think I'm slowly getting the big picture. It'll take time since I missed the first several chapters. A couple of comments: these two phrases are missing "that". "...alone, now (that) her mother had died..." and "...happiness now (that) she's with your father." This next phrase has an extra word. "...I'm sorry I (said) mentioned it now..." Delete "said". Other than those minor changes, your writing is as good as always. I like the story. Good luck, my friend, and stay well.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
 |
The plot thickens. I think I'm slowly getting the big picture. It'll take time since I missed the first several chapters. A couple of comments: these two phrases are missing "that". "...alone, now (that) her mother had died..." and "...happiness now (that) she's with your father." This next phrase has an extra word. "...I'm sorry I (said) mentioned it now..." Delete "said". Other than those minor changes, your writing is as good as always. I like the story. Good luck, my friend, and stay well.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
-
Thank you so much for this helpful review, Frank, I really appreciated it. I've made all the corrections now and I'm so pleased you picked them up. How I missed them, I don't know, especially the extra word, 'said.' Goodness me! Thank you for the compliment, too. You have really put a big smile on my face. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
-
I know the feeling. You've read and reread something so many times, you see words that aren't there or miss the obvious ones that don't belong. I'm glad I could help. Stay well, Sandra and my best to your family.
Comment from Contests
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
|
 A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review. |
Comment Written 04-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2022
-
Thank you so very much!! :)) xx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with this complex chapter, Sandra. I enjoyed reading it. The idea of time travel was a great idea to include. It will allow Margot to do her job in that time period. The process of the time travel was well expressed in detail. I could visualize what Margot was experiencing as she went back. I always thought the grave site had strange vibes. It was like a time portal. The fact Miles can see Margot was an interesting twist with many possibilities to add to your story. Of course Bessie was instrumental is the whole process and still is. It will be interesting to find out what and who Bessie really is at the end of your novel. I look forward to the next chapter.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
|
You did a great job with this complex chapter, Sandra. I enjoyed reading it. The idea of time travel was a great idea to include. It will allow Margot to do her job in that time period. The process of the time travel was well expressed in detail. I could visualize what Margot was experiencing as she went back. I always thought the grave site had strange vibes. It was like a time portal. The fact Miles can see Margot was an interesting twist with many possibilities to add to your story. Of course Bessie was instrumental is the whole process and still is. It will be interesting to find out what and who Bessie really is at the end of your novel. I look forward to the next chapter.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
-
That is what they are hoping to do, solve the case and return things as they should be. Let's see if they can do it. Thank you so much, Jan, for another of your wonderful reviews. I really do appreciate you. Love and hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from Cindy Warren
Bessie must be an angel. I'd wondered about that before. She clearly wasn't an ordinary person. Of course Margot had to travel back in time to put things right. How else could she do it? I can't wait to see exactly what she does.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
|
Bessie must be an angel. I'd wondered about that before. She clearly wasn't an ordinary person. Of course Margot had to travel back in time to put things right. How else could she do it? I can't wait to see exactly what she does.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
-
Thank you so much for your lovely review, Cindy. You are the second person who thinks Bessie is an angel, others have called her a time-lord, lol. You're right, though, Bessie isn't an ordinary person, far from it. But I'll keep it a secret for a little longer. Thanks again, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from alexisleech
Yet again, you have managed to transport us all to another time and place - a welcome retreat from what's going on in the world at the moment. I can't wait to find out how Margot turns detective, especially with her help from ghosts and 'no-time' assistants. What a clever lady you are! My trip to Spain has been put off for now, which is probably for the best, taking into account what's happening globally at the moment - the thought of having fun when so many are suffering doesn't sit well!
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2022
|
Yet again, you have managed to transport us all to another time and place - a welcome retreat from what's going on in the world at the moment. I can't wait to find out how Margot turns detective, especially with her help from ghosts and 'no-time' assistants. What a clever lady you are! My trip to Spain has been put off for now, which is probably for the best, taking into account what's happening globally at the moment - the thought of having fun when so many are suffering doesn't sit well!
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 01-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2022
-
Thank you so much, Alexis, for this lovely review and all those stars!! I'm so pleased you enjoyed reading this part. I'm sorry that you've had to put your holiday to Spain off, but I think it might be for the best. None of us know what that madman will do next. Love and hugs, Sandra xxxx
Comment from nomi338
Love, mystery, ghosts, anger, passion. All elements that contribute to classic drama. This intriguing story keeps getting better and better. What will happen in the end, how will the end come about? No one, at this point knows for sure. Only those patient enough to stick around until the end will discover it. I for one am on board to see it to completion.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
|
Love, mystery, ghosts, anger, passion. All elements that contribute to classic drama. This intriguing story keeps getting better and better. What will happen in the end, how will the end come about? No one, at this point knows for sure. Only those patient enough to stick around until the end will discover it. I for one am on board to see it to completion.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
-
Ahh, the end will be a surprise, I can tell you that already. Lol. But a lot of sleuthing has to be done by Margot first. Will she find out the truth?
I'm so pleased you are enjoying my story, dear Nomi, and will be staying until the end. That is so encouraging, and you've put a big smile on my face. Thank you, dear friend. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
-
The pleasure is decidedly mine.
Comment from estory
I thought you had great visuals in this chapter, especially in the cemetery when Meg travels back to 1886 at the funeral, and also great tension in the dialogue between Meg and Miles. We get lots of emotion in that scene when he expresses love for her but also detest for society conventions and the interference of his own father. estory
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
|
I thought you had great visuals in this chapter, especially in the cemetery when Meg travels back to 1886 at the funeral, and also great tension in the dialogue between Meg and Miles. We get lots of emotion in that scene when he expresses love for her but also detest for society conventions and the interference of his own father. estory
Comment Written 01-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
-
Thank you so much, estory, for another of your lovely reviews. I really appreciated your thoughts on this chapter, being the part that takes Margot back in time. Now she must do some detecting! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from royowen
What an exciting episode Sandra, you're so good at these, I would be impatient writing these, because you're probably knowing where your going with this, it's a wonder that you're patience doesn't run out, this is a superb connection, with Bessie seeming to be the eternal companion,/guide. Beautifully written Sandra, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
|
What an exciting episode Sandra, you're so good at these, I would be impatient writing these, because you're probably knowing where your going with this, it's a wonder that you're patience doesn't run out, this is a superb connection, with Bessie seeming to be the eternal companion,/guide. Beautifully written Sandra, blessings Roy
Comment Written 01-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
-
Thank you, Roy! That is so nice of you to say that. I'd been going around in circles trying to place Bessie's position, and then this line appeared on the screen and it made perfect sense to me. Lol. That little man on my shoulder likes to push in now and again. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. Now Margot has some detective work to do. Thank you, my friend, I enjoyed reading your review. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
-
I?m glad you have a little man on your shoulder, me too
Comment from lyenochka
Well, things really took a fantasy turn really fast! I was surprised that Margot adjusted so quickly to time travel and being with Bessie, the immortal fairy-like person, whatever she is. And now it's up to Margot to figure out the mystery so that Meg doesn't die and all will be made right. It is a bit strange that Miles can see her!
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
|
Well, things really took a fantasy turn really fast! I was surprised that Margot adjusted so quickly to time travel and being with Bessie, the immortal fairy-like person, whatever she is. And now it's up to Margot to figure out the mystery so that Meg doesn't die and all will be made right. It is a bit strange that Miles can see her!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
-
According to Tony Fawcus, Bessie is a Timarian, and to Ben Colder, she is one of the angels who walks amongst us. Only Bessie knows what she is, lol. She could even be Dr Who's mate. Do you have 'Dr Who' in your country?
Thanks so much for your lovely review, Helen. My time-travellers do adjust pretty quickly. Veronica in 'This Time -That Time', took a few chapters to work it out, but she was put in an old lady's body and, unlike Margot, she wasn't aware that she had gone back in time, so she would find it hard. And my grandson Eric, in all his adventures was fine with it, too. The point with fiction, we can create whatever we want and it is acceptable. Thanks again, my friend! Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
-
Of course, we all know Dr. Who! I think my favorite was the doctor with curly dark hair. Sorry, I can't remember his name now. Lol. We even have a tardis mug somewhere...
-
Tom Baker was the 4th Dr Who. Curly hair and long scarf. Is that who you mean?
-
Yes! That was his name! 😊