The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "The Chronicles of Bethica"Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings
11 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
It's always like that, isn't it, amahra? Just when they think they'd won something else pops up. This is so well written that I simply have to follow along. Well done. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2022
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It's always like that, isn't it, amahra? Just when they think they'd won something else pops up. This is so well written that I simply have to follow along. Well done. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 02-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from royowen
Beautifully written Amahra, I just love the fact that you've got back to "The Chronicles" serine's, I've missed it quite a bit, and ir was such a great episode with exotic races and the omnipresent badies, the dim witted Orcs beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : Unlock(ed) the 2: the soldiers eyes flashed wide.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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Beautifully written Amahra, I just love the fact that you've got back to "The Chronicles" serine's, I've missed it quite a bit, and ir was such a great episode with exotic races and the omnipresent badies, the dim witted Orcs beautifully written, blessings Roy
Typo : Unlock(ed) the 2: the soldiers eyes flashed wide.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Roy, for your review and stars. In the future, can you do me a favor? Can you copy and paste the sentence with the words that need editing? I found "unlocked, but still searching the chapter for, "the soldiers eyes flashed wide. Thanx, Roy. I really appreciate you.
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It?s toward the end
Comment from Judy Lawless
Well just when they think they've won, something else appears. You've done a good job of keeping us engaged with this chapter, amarah. After all this time I thought I might forget what had happened previously, but it soon came back. Well written.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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Well just when they think they've won, something else appears. You've done a good job of keeping us engaged with this chapter, amarah. After all this time I thought I might forget what had happened previously, but it soon came back. Well written.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Judy. I'm glad events came back to you. The half chapter was already a bit long and I didn't want to make it longer with a recap. But I'm glad you got it.
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You're welcome, Amahra.
Comment from tfawcus
This is indeed a complex and fast-moving tale with a vast array of characters. You describe the pre-battle tension very well and the battle itself is graphic.
I enjoy your many vivid turns of phrase like:
under a moonless spread of darkness
the barrel-belly Orcs awkwardly stomped behind.
"The journey back is long. He'll be a sack of worms by the time we get there."
A few things you might want to review:
the Orcs were badly defeated, but under the threat of annihilation, the Orcs agreed to be their allies [Did you intend the repetition of orcs here?]
Crushing the Orcs(,) was their mission
The men waited tolerantly (patiently?) for the Orcs to bed down
They tipped-toed (tip-toed) out of the cage
I'm intrigued by the strange leaf, dark blue with thick red veins spread throughout. It sounds as though there may be more to it than meets the eye!
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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This is indeed a complex and fast-moving tale with a vast array of characters. You describe the pre-battle tension very well and the battle itself is graphic.
I enjoy your many vivid turns of phrase like:
under a moonless spread of darkness
the barrel-belly Orcs awkwardly stomped behind.
"The journey back is long. He'll be a sack of worms by the time we get there."
A few things you might want to review:
the Orcs were badly defeated, but under the threat of annihilation, the Orcs agreed to be their allies [Did you intend the repetition of orcs here?]
Crushing the Orcs(,) was their mission
The men waited tolerantly (patiently?) for the Orcs to bed down
They tipped-toed (tip-toed) out of the cage
I'm intrigued by the strange leaf, dark blue with thick red veins spread throughout. It sounds as though there may be more to it than meets the eye!
Comment Written 01-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much for this fine review and stars. And thank you for catching the sprags. Now, about "Orcs" Yes, I see your point and I stuck Orcs in at the last minute because I had said the word, "they" and I wanted the reader to know the second they, referred to the Orcs. But if you're sure the reader will know "they" means the Orcs, then I'll take Orcs out.
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's good to see you back posting and I hope all is finally well in your world. I'm a little slow at times, but after noticing you're from Baltimore, now I've figured out why you call yourself from bird city, home of the Orioles and Ravens. But thinking back to the 1970 when the city was wanting to clean up all those old warehouses, they started calling the area "Charm city." I guess it didn't stick. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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It's good to see you back posting and I hope all is finally well in your world. I'm a little slow at times, but after noticing you're from Baltimore, now I've figured out why you call yourself from bird city, home of the Orioles and Ravens. But thinking back to the 1970 when the city was wanting to clean up all those old warehouses, they started calling the area "Charm city." I guess it didn't stick. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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Thank you, Ric. So, now what did you think of chapter 24? LOL!
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I enjoy every chapter you write! And that's coming from someone who had never read fantasy before I started reading you. I know I'm supposed to critique when I review. But that's certainly a feat out of my range. LOL.
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Got it! :))
Comment from Jay Squires
I enjoyed the adventure of this chapter and the comic relief added a new dimension to your novel. Celio's going to be a quivering mass of scars and ill-mended bones by the time your novel comes to a close. He seems always to be injured in one way or another. But he's resilient and a lovable cuss.
A couple of things I noted as I read:
Celio felt as long as those felines stayed out of the way, he could care less what happened to them. [The phrase "could care less" always bothers me. Shouldn't it be, "...he couldn't care less what happened to them." ?]
The men skid to a halt as the guard aimed his bow at the Orc [The men SKIDDED to a halt ...]
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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I enjoyed the adventure of this chapter and the comic relief added a new dimension to your novel. Celio's going to be a quivering mass of scars and ill-mended bones by the time your novel comes to a close. He seems always to be injured in one way or another. But he's resilient and a lovable cuss.
A couple of things I noted as I read:
Celio felt as long as those felines stayed out of the way, he could care less what happened to them. [The phrase "could care less" always bothers me. Shouldn't it be, "...he couldn't care less what happened to them." ?]
The men skid to a halt as the guard aimed his bow at the Orc [The men SKIDDED to a halt ...]
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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Thank you for your review, Jay. I made one correction, skidded. The other, I know bothers you, but since both "couldn't and could" can be used interchangeably, and neither is grammatically incorrect, I decided to let it stand.
Comment from RGstar
Science fiction is one of my favorite genre, and only sad you started this while I was away, and not followed as it would be folly not to see this good piece of writing and its potential.
From what I read here, you certainly writing well, and in view of characters and scenes, it is right up my street.
So I wish you good luck with this. I really enjoyed this segment, and will look in again.
My best.
RGstar
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Science fiction is one of my favorite genre, and only sad you started this while I was away, and not followed as it would be folly not to see this good piece of writing and its potential.
From what I read here, you certainly writing well, and in view of characters and scenes, it is right up my street.
So I wish you good luck with this. I really enjoyed this segment, and will look in again.
My best.
RGstar
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Thank you very much, RG. You're most appreciated.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for revisiting this novel. I had enjoyed reading and was missing and wondering about it. I was not disappointed by this post. I enjoyed reading it and hope for more.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Thank you for revisiting this novel. I had enjoyed reading and was missing and wondering about it. I was not disappointed by this post. I enjoyed reading it and hope for more.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Thank you, Barbara. Always appreciate your review.
Comment from Ricky1024
This is my first reading.
And, this chapter was very interesting and well written.
I like the characters names and the theme and imagery.
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The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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This is my first reading.
And, this chapter was very interesting and well written.
I like the characters names and the theme and imagery.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky 1024
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Thank you, Doctor Ricky.
Comment from AJ McCall
Orcs? When did they come into the picture?! (I've recently been hooked on them, lol.) IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN AMAHRA!!! And this chapter had me on edge, as usual, except for the classic butt-scratch from the sleeping beast, lol. Minators, humanoids... what else could possibly be out there? I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter amahra!!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Orcs? When did they come into the picture?! (I've recently been hooked on them, lol.) IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN AMAHRA!!! And this chapter had me on edge, as usual, except for the classic butt-scratch from the sleeping beast, lol. Minators, humanoids... what else could possibly be out there? I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter amahra!!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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Thank you, so much, AJ, and for the stars. Actually, this was part 1 of the chapter. I had to cut the chapter in half. But I'm glad you liked it and found the butt-scratch amusing. Blessings!
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LOL. You're welcome! And only part 1?? Ooh. Can't wait for part 2 then!!
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;)