contemplation by a stream
5-7-5 (sitting by a stream)5 total reviews
Comment from tempeste
Ciao Marco!
a delightful poem, it deserves more attention in the contest.
I have a stream near by and I love to listen to its murmuring
Its water is crystal clear and it flows down from the mountain above.
In summer it's great to dip one's dusty, over hearted feet into.
There is also a thin pipe that has been installed in the rocks .. from which a constant flow falls into the stream.. I cup my hands and drink it .. very refreshing and thirst quenching.
Small ripples
life's froth and bubble.
This is an awesome ha ha/ closing line.
All our actions, big or small ,have a ripple effect .. they will touch someone.
That s why we should strive to do good rather than bad things that can hurt.
Froth reminds me when life can get crazy, complicated , agitated and wild
While Bubble , tends to make me imagine happy, exciting moments.
I'm looking forward to making frequent visits to my stream soon as Spring blossoms.
Your poem projected me there .. reminded me how soothing it is to feel the breeze caress my hair and face etc
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
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Ciao Marco!
a delightful poem, it deserves more attention in the contest.
I have a stream near by and I love to listen to its murmuring
Its water is crystal clear and it flows down from the mountain above.
In summer it's great to dip one's dusty, over hearted feet into.
There is also a thin pipe that has been installed in the rocks .. from which a constant flow falls into the stream.. I cup my hands and drink it .. very refreshing and thirst quenching.
Small ripples
life's froth and bubble.
This is an awesome ha ha/ closing line.
All our actions, big or small ,have a ripple effect .. they will touch someone.
That s why we should strive to do good rather than bad things that can hurt.
Froth reminds me when life can get crazy, complicated , agitated and wild
While Bubble , tends to make me imagine happy, exciting moments.
I'm looking forward to making frequent visits to my stream soon as Spring blossoms.
Your poem projected me there .. reminded me how soothing it is to feel the breeze caress my hair and face etc
Comment Written 05-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2022
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Thanks Tempeste for your always fun-filled replies to my posts. Poem contests are frequently fickle. It is nice to make the podium steps, but I just like to write.
Mark
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
This poem definitely flowed all the way through. And you have entered a good on in this contest. Keep Wrting. And don't forget to stop by to talk. For the sake of staying connected
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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This poem definitely flowed all the way through. And you have entered a good on in this contest. Keep Wrting. And don't forget to stop by to talk. For the sake of staying connected
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Thanks for your generous comments BT86!
My typical writing style is this 5-7-5 syllable format. Longer verses are not within my poetry wheelhouse.
Comment from Deepali Pradhan
Thanks for sharing. Has a nice sound to it. Do you use any counter for the syllables ?
It's so so wonderful that you have acknowledged the source of your inspiration.
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Thanks for sharing. Has a nice sound to it. Do you use any counter for the syllables ?
It's so so wonderful that you have acknowledged the source of your inspiration.
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Deepali,
Thank you for such a nice review. To verify my syllable count, I use the Merriam-Webster online dictionary. I acknowledge the FanArt poster too.
Comment from Jane Jane King
Very good. I really like the comparison of a stream's ripples and the froth and bubbles of life. If I can make a suggestion, I would try to arrange the words in a way that gives the prose a smother, more rhythmic flow in the last line The picture is beautiful. Good luck with the contest.
Jane
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Very good. I really like the comparison of a stream's ripples and the froth and bubbles of life. If I can make a suggestion, I would try to arrange the words in a way that gives the prose a smother, more rhythmic flow in the last line The picture is beautiful. Good luck with the contest.
Jane
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Jane,
Thank you for such a nice critique. My short poem style (typically 5-7-5) probably does not lend itself always to the prose format. I aspire to write in Haiku style. For info about the Haïku poetry, go to theHaikuFoundtion.org. web site.
I try to use FanArt for all my illustrations. The artist I used gets that credit.
Comment from Ricky1024
"contemplation by a stream"
A 5/7/5 Contest y.
Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this one.
Doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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"contemplation by a stream"
A 5/7/5 Contest y.
Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this one.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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Thanks Doctor R. for your nice critique of this poem. My poetry style is most exclusively in the 5-7-5 syllable format. Longer verses are just not in my poetry wheelhouse.