The Fae Nation
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "No Dawn"Still just a germ of an idea that the moment
3 total reviews
Comment from Adri7enne
Lots of drama, Bob. You keep the story telling nice and tight. I'm always anxious to read what happens next. It makes me cringe, the thought of cutting a fairy's wings. Of course humans have sunk to deeper crap than that even. If we had another conscious species to share the earth with, we would have dispatched them all by now. Sad that the atrocities of mankind no longer shock us. Good writing!
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
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Lots of drama, Bob. You keep the story telling nice and tight. I'm always anxious to read what happens next. It makes me cringe, the thought of cutting a fairy's wings. Of course humans have sunk to deeper crap than that even. If we had another conscious species to share the earth with, we would have dispatched them all by now. Sad that the atrocities of mankind no longer shock us. Good writing!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
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Wanting to read more is all a writer can ask, thanks
Comment from Pangalactic
This was a very cool read through for me. I haven't had the privilege of reading anything else from this story but I'd like to; it sounds right up my alley.
Well written, I was very engaged.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2022
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This was a very cool read through for me. I haven't had the privilege of reading anything else from this story but I'd like to; it sounds right up my alley.
Well written, I was very engaged.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2022
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You're very kind, thank you. I'm glad you liked it
Comment from Jay Squires
Yeeeees, I remember this well. It's well-written, but aside from that, it has its charm with the blend of fantasy within a backdrop of reality. You bring it off so well, Snodlander. I fanned you some months ago, but today was the first time your post found itself on my queue. Anyway, very enjoyable and entertaining because it is so well-written.
A few notes I made as I wrote. You may find them useful ... or not.
About one the threatened rain started, [A small thing, but I'd consider putting an "At" before "About" here. I thought, for an instant, that "About one" referred not to time, but to the first of the things mentioned in the previous sentence. Oh, sure, I made the adjustment, but I'm a firm believer we shouldn't pull the reader away from the story his imagination is projecting on the theater of his mind.]
he couldn't afford to lose any custom, even if it was a half of shandy [I don't understand this sentence unless you intended "customer" instead of "custom"]
How wonderful to â?"" [The Editnazi is at work again. You need to manually correct the HTML garbage.]
"Oh Bob, Bob. It's terrible, they â?" Taxi! Taxi! â?" [And here.]
I hope you can clean up the HTML stuff. It's quite distracting since it also occurs in the midst of your paragraphs.
Regards,
Jay
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Yeeeees, I remember this well. It's well-written, but aside from that, it has its charm with the blend of fantasy within a backdrop of reality. You bring it off so well, Snodlander. I fanned you some months ago, but today was the first time your post found itself on my queue. Anyway, very enjoyable and entertaining because it is so well-written.
A few notes I made as I wrote. You may find them useful ... or not.
About one the threatened rain started, [A small thing, but I'd consider putting an "At" before "About" here. I thought, for an instant, that "About one" referred not to time, but to the first of the things mentioned in the previous sentence. Oh, sure, I made the adjustment, but I'm a firm believer we shouldn't pull the reader away from the story his imagination is projecting on the theater of his mind.]
he couldn't afford to lose any custom, even if it was a half of shandy [I don't understand this sentence unless you intended "customer" instead of "custom"]
How wonderful to â?"" [The Editnazi is at work again. You need to manually correct the HTML garbage.]
"Oh Bob, Bob. It's terrible, they â?" Taxi! Taxi! â?" [And here.]
I hope you can clean up the HTML stuff. It's quite distracting since it also occurs in the midst of your paragraphs.
Regards,
Jay
Comment Written 31-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Thanks for your thorough review. The first observation is spot on, I'll change it.
The second may be the fault of the Atlantic. In the UK custom means business or revenue (from which we get customer)
And damn the HTML editor. I'll fix it
Again thanks for the issues and the praise.
Sorry for the lack of updates. Late dinners, too much wine and Netflix have conspired against me, but I eat earlier and limit my wine now, so more to fill the dark evenings with.