A Boy and His Lunch
A fictional re-telling of a biblical event.3 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
What an excellent story - and so very well told. You maintained the interest of the reader throughout, and also made some very wise and significant points. One could feel the struggle Josh had about surrendering his lunch basket, and the following blessings. best wishes for this outstanding entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
  |
What an excellent story - and so very well told. You maintained the interest of the reader throughout, and also made some very wise and significant points. One could feel the struggle Josh had about surrendering his lunch basket, and the following blessings. best wishes for this outstanding entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 28-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
-
Thank you so much for your kind review and generous rating.
Comment from Susan Newell
What a unique and delightful approach to the contest, and to teaching children about the Bible. I just love Solomon the Church Mouse. Very well told, with a great lesson. A few editing notes follow.
"Ok." ==> Okay, as you followed with
riding inside. Behind us, unseen by Josh, was two dogs ==> were
understand that he was mumbling "I don't know. They look mean to me!" -- no need to repeat his words, the reader gets them
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022
|
What a unique and delightful approach to the contest, and to teaching children about the Bible. I just love Solomon the Church Mouse. Very well told, with a great lesson. A few editing notes follow.
"Ok." ==> Okay, as you followed with
riding inside. Behind us, unseen by Josh, was two dogs ==> were
understand that he was mumbling "I don't know. They look mean to me!" -- no need to repeat his words, the reader gets them
Comment Written 27-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022
-
Thank you for your sharp insight. I have made the changes you pointed out to me. Thank you so much.
-
You are very welcome.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Author,
A very nice story about how sharing can be enjoyable. And may even make your story go down in history forever! Those bullies won't be remembered for long but someone who shared is remembered with a story in the Bible. That is pretty stinking cool! Thanks!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
|
Dear Mystery Author,
A very nice story about how sharing can be enjoyable. And may even make your story go down in history forever! Those bullies won't be remembered for long but someone who shared is remembered with a story in the Bible. That is pretty stinking cool! Thanks!
Comment Written 27-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
-
Thank you for your kind words and generous rating.
