Comment from Alaskastory

Excellent

"A Message of Hope" is a chapter that moves right along and shows Luke managing to handle mere clues. His actions in the motel and the dogs, too, plus a word from the girl gives hope. Well done.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2022

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reply by the author on 02-Feb-2022

Thanks Marie!

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I think if I were a dad with a missing daughter, I'd be go searching too, particularly when a dream of a dearly departed child came to me in a dream, after all aren't we a reflection of the good Shepherd. I really like this story my friend, this is beautifully written, you're a good writer. Did you write a Valentine's Day poem for your granddaughter, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022

Thanks, Roy. Appreciate you.

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Stan,

This is such a tragic story. I know it actually happens - which makes it all the MORE sinister and frightening.

This chapter was fine, but needs some more thorough editing. Go through and read it out loud and watch each word - you should see a few small nits and places to edit.

Other:
1.) starch his mind and stiffen his resolve in order (to) dive into the underworld.

2.) Luke bends over, catching his breath. He pictured her
--> you have six or so paragraphs in a row which all begin with 'Luke' - need to edit - yes, it does matter. *smile* (And a lot more after, too!)

3.) "We don't operate like that. We(')re a gentlemen's club."

4.) "Be careful(,)" (s)he said, as he walks away.

Thanks!

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022

Thanks Robyn!

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

This is an intense and descriptive chapter. You are very detailed about the room. I could see it in my mind's eye. I enjoyed the read and look forward to the next chapter. Have a wonderful day. Shirley

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022

Thanks Shirley. So appreciated.

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

It is good to read some of your story again. I am hoping Luke will find his daughter willing to be found when he is able to let her know who he is. I always enjoy your stories.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022

Thanks Beth. Appreciate you

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

In this fiction, taletelling is mild, simple, clear and expressive; job of finding a daughter in the city is realistic like the dialogues, hope is hope and a message of hope is here though not dire and daring; anytime anything can happen boyfriend needs to be careful all the way; well said, well done; post more. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022

Thanks so much. Always look forward to hearing from you. Appreciate your input.

Comment from Melodie Michelle

Excellent

Excellent prose my friend! The imagery is spot on and the storyline is captivating and held my attention throughout the piece;-) The characters bounce off one another nicely!
Thank you so much for sharing this well written piece with us and may God bless you and your family this New Year;-)

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022

Thanks so much Melodie.

reply by Melodie Michelle on 28-Jan-2022

;-)

Comment from Robert Zimmerman

Excellent

Hi Stan.

Luke has received some bad news, but he must be expecting to get a lot of bad news before his search is over. The dialogue is interesting and reflects the situation he is in. I say again your descriptive writing is interesting and creates "verbal visuals" that enhance the story line. The vision and conversation with his youngest daughter is handled well.

Robert

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 28-Jan-2022

Thanks so much Robert for a thumbs up and encouraging words.

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 28-Jan-2022

You're welcome, Stan.