Scout Ken and Trapper Mike
Two eager partiers set a record for getting lost.8 total reviews
Comment from Tsukuyomi969
This feels like a series of YouTube videos of some frat guys who do increasing dumb things. It was great! I felt bad for them, but not too bad, and at the end of the night, they all had a good story to tell. And someone should tell Trapper Mike that Bambi wasn't a doe, he was a stag. Nice entry, and good luck in the contest.
Cheers
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
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This feels like a series of YouTube videos of some frat guys who do increasing dumb things. It was great! I felt bad for them, but not too bad, and at the end of the night, they all had a good story to tell. And someone should tell Trapper Mike that Bambi wasn't a doe, he was a stag. Nice entry, and good luck in the contest.
Cheers
Comment Written 03-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
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Thanks. I appreciate your comments (and your sense of humor).
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Your story's plots were amazing; I could not believe how much trouble these two fellows were having before they found the right party. Sure, glad that they didn't get seriously hurt on their adventure.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2022
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Your story's plots were amazing; I could not believe how much trouble these two fellows were having before they found the right party. Sure, glad that they didn't get seriously hurt on their adventure.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2022
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Thanks, Rosemary, I appreciate your comments. Yes, Scout Ken and Trapper Mike may have lacked a sense of direction but they were always lucky!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Good entry for the Left alone in the forest contest. You have a wonderful imagination.
Exciting adventures of Scout ken and trapper mike.
The story of cannibal Inbred hillbillies has been done plenty of times but never gets old. :)
I guess they never found, the Frankie Cincinnati party.
The part of they going through swamps, fields, and the forest was fun but a bit long.... You can caught off repetitive stuff.
Check this out.....
"Maybe Scout Ken was right after all. The Wolversons, ..... were sizing him up as (an entr�?�©e)
Mike kept getting asked why his shirt was inside out and got interrupted... nevermind hah hah....
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2022
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Good entry for the Left alone in the forest contest. You have a wonderful imagination.
Exciting adventures of Scout ken and trapper mike.
The story of cannibal Inbred hillbillies has been done plenty of times but never gets old. :)
I guess they never found, the Frankie Cincinnati party.
The part of they going through swamps, fields, and the forest was fun but a bit long.... You can caught off repetitive stuff.
Check this out.....
"Maybe Scout Ken was right after all. The Wolversons, ..... were sizing him up as (an entr�?�©e)
Mike kept getting asked why his shirt was inside out and got interrupted... nevermind hah hah....
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
Comment Written 02-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2022
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Thanks, I really appreciate your comments!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Well that was certainly one madcap sort of adventure. very entertaining.
Some notes I made as I read through-
Like someone was chewing on bones.
- you could omit 'was' here.
were sizing him up as an entr�©e. - needs edited for code.
"I've got my principals," Scout Ken said from his soapbox. - lol
The blonde-haired, fair-skinned twenty-six-year-old - generally speaking it's blond for male, blonde for female, although this practice may be going out of fashion.
Susan Dey, Fred Gwynne, and Vanessa Williams - nice touch.
Crunching. Like someone was chewing on bones.
Maybe Scout Ken was right after all. The Wolversons, the family of inbred hillbillies that occupied the forest were sizing him up as an entr�©e.- same comments as earlier.
Someone was wading in the stream. Trapper Mike could clearly discern it was a naked woman.
- if it was ark, how could he see this?
Trapper Mike shook the later thought from his mind. - latter.
or was going to rob him â?" despite a lack of concealed weapons. - edit out the code.
"So, where were you heading before you got lost," - should probably have a question mark in here.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2022
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Hi there,
Well that was certainly one madcap sort of adventure. very entertaining.
Some notes I made as I read through-
Like someone was chewing on bones.
- you could omit 'was' here.
were sizing him up as an entr�©e. - needs edited for code.
"I've got my principals," Scout Ken said from his soapbox. - lol
The blonde-haired, fair-skinned twenty-six-year-old - generally speaking it's blond for male, blonde for female, although this practice may be going out of fashion.
Susan Dey, Fred Gwynne, and Vanessa Williams - nice touch.
Crunching. Like someone was chewing on bones.
Maybe Scout Ken was right after all. The Wolversons, the family of inbred hillbillies that occupied the forest were sizing him up as an entr�©e.- same comments as earlier.
Someone was wading in the stream. Trapper Mike could clearly discern it was a naked woman.
- if it was ark, how could he see this?
Trapper Mike shook the later thought from his mind. - latter.
or was going to rob him â?" despite a lack of concealed weapons. - edit out the code.
"So, where were you heading before you got lost," - should probably have a question mark in here.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 01-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2022
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Thanks! I appreciate your comments (as always).
Comment from Susan Newell
Well, I guess I won't bother with this contest. This is hilariously funny and you have developed the characters beautifully. Three stooges, indeed. I loved the banter, the introduction of the siren in the brook, the wise doe, the ingenious insertion of the poem, the Wolversons in Westchester (I thought they were all in New Hampshire). Lesson learned: some things are worth five bucks or you can end up with one distant doe. I am a little concerned about the fire. Rain would have put it out. A few notes follow.
Sue
"I've got my principals," -- sneaky homonym ==> principles
and brand his new white boots. -- oops ==> his brand
Liked the insertion of the jingle/poem
scanning what he thought was another field of small pine trees. -- field implies openness in this environment-- stand?
Smart to bring us back with a repeat paragraph.
or was going to rob him â?" despite a lack of concealed weapons. LOL
Trapper Mike was very lost, he'd had all he could take,
That was when he ran into the Lady of the Lake.
She was a fantasy come true, beautiful, adventurous, and tall,
And if she was what being lost was about, he didn't mind at all. -- aha, now I'm getting it; short poem, long prose, same story
"Flame on!" Bronco Johnny said, lighting the blow torch. -- LOL
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2022
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Well, I guess I won't bother with this contest. This is hilariously funny and you have developed the characters beautifully. Three stooges, indeed. I loved the banter, the introduction of the siren in the brook, the wise doe, the ingenious insertion of the poem, the Wolversons in Westchester (I thought they were all in New Hampshire). Lesson learned: some things are worth five bucks or you can end up with one distant doe. I am a little concerned about the fire. Rain would have put it out. A few notes follow.
Sue
"I've got my principals," -- sneaky homonym ==> principles
and brand his new white boots. -- oops ==> his brand
Liked the insertion of the jingle/poem
scanning what he thought was another field of small pine trees. -- field implies openness in this environment-- stand?
Smart to bring us back with a repeat paragraph.
or was going to rob him â?" despite a lack of concealed weapons. LOL
Trapper Mike was very lost, he'd had all he could take,
That was when he ran into the Lady of the Lake.
She was a fantasy come true, beautiful, adventurous, and tall,
And if she was what being lost was about, he didn't mind at all. -- aha, now I'm getting it; short poem, long prose, same story
"Flame on!" Bronco Johnny said, lighting the blow torch. -- LOL
Comment Written 01-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2022
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Over the river and through the woods! Thanks for the review. Five bucks and a distant doe indeed! It was a fun story to write. I was inspired by the recent passing of "Bronco Johnny" who was every bit as entertaining and as crazy in real life as if his in the story.Thanks again!
Comment from Shirley McLain
I like the story. It sounds like me when I get away from the house. It's fun, active, and your characters are believable. You did an excellent job. Shirley
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2022
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I like the story. It sounds like me when I get away from the house. It's fun, active, and your characters are believable. You did an excellent job. Shirley
Comment Written 01-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Chris Davies
A fun read! Reminded me of a shaggy dog story. I loved the little poems you included throughout the text - well done. I wish you good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
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A fun read! Reminded me of a shaggy dog story. I loved the little poems you included throughout the text - well done. I wish you good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much!
Comment from Artasylum
Bronco Johnny. Scout Ken, Trapper Mike... very colorful characters. I grew up with all of them and feel right at home with these guys... thanks for the fun read and great, good luck in your contest. The dialogue is right on point. your description is great. good job
John Concannon was a sinewy, seemingly indestructible, and beloved party animal known for his boundless energy and infectious, nutty laugh. He was adventurous, irreverent, and slightly insane. Johnny would do anything to amaze and amuse his friends. His actions this night would earn him the nickname "Bronco Johnny."
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Bronco Johnny. Scout Ken, Trapper Mike... very colorful characters. I grew up with all of them and feel right at home with these guys... thanks for the fun read and great, good luck in your contest. The dialogue is right on point. your description is great. good job
John Concannon was a sinewy, seemingly indestructible, and beloved party animal known for his boundless energy and infectious, nutty laugh. He was adventurous, irreverent, and slightly insane. Johnny would do anything to amaze and amuse his friends. His actions this night would earn him the nickname "Bronco Johnny."
Comment Written 26-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Thanks. I really appreciate your review!
