Reviews from

Alone!

A hunting trip goes wrong

17 total reviews 
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! On this write. For, it was not only filled with drama . But it was very informative and educating. I mean this was dope! And I enjoyed reading. Keep Writing. And don't forget to stop by to talk. For there is always something refreshing and new on deck. Stay Connected

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
    Thanks so much for your encouraging words and kind review Black. I'll check out your site.
    Have a blessed day.
    Tom
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, you don't need me to tell you that this is a fine piece of work. That Winner Ribbon was my first clue. I like how you traversed your story from the initial discomfort of the ride to the fear as you realized your predicament and acknowledged it. Well done. - Wendy

 Comment Written 24-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
    Thanks so much for the great review and comments Wendy. I spent 45 years in Southeast Alaska surrounded by the Tongass National Forest, so I was able to draw on some experience for the story.
    Have a blessed day.
    Tom
Comment from pome lover
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

wow, Tom, that was some story! very realistic and very well told. Are you a hunter?
From your description of the worsening weather in the story, and the fact that the other two had gone up the mountain from the beginning, I hope they got down and back to the car, and back home, so they COULD come back for him... heavenly days, you write so realistically, I'm worrying about your fictional characters. Think it's time to call it a night.
Congratulations on winning the contest!
Katharine

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
    Hello Katharine,
    Thanks so much for the exceptional rating and comments. I am, or I should say, I was a hunter. I lived in Southeast Alaska for 45 years and was able to draw on my experience in the woods. The Tongass National Forest, which covered most, if not all of Southeast, is a rain forest. The mountains cover most of the terrain and the weather is influenced by the ocean that surrounds the many islands that make up Southeast. One moment it can be raining, and the next it's snow. Of course in the winter, that's even more prevalent as you go higher up. Sometimes it only takes a few hundred feet in elevation to go from one to the other. It's a rugged place, but absolutely breathtaking. I should mention, some of the mountains, like Mt. Fairweather, are so high that they make their own weather. Of course you wouldn't hunt that area anyway, it's too high and nothing would live up there. There was always a danger when we went out hunting. Most of the hunting I did was by boat early on, which had it's own set of problems. After the logging roads were punched in though, hunting from a vehicle became possible. Fortunately I always made it back, sometimes with a deer or two, and often without. Thanks again for your great comments.
    Have a blessed day.
    Tom
reply by pome lover on 19-Feb-2022
    it does sound beautiful, but rugged (and cold).
    Where are you now?
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2022
    Hi Katherine,
    I'm in Wasilla now, about forty miles north of Anchorage, in South Central Alaska. Hundreds of miles north of Hoonah. It's colder, but dryer.
reply by pome lover on 20-Feb-2022
    dryer is better, at least here in San Antonio. When I lived in Crested Butte, CO, dry was better for my hair (smile) but hard on the face (skin) - it weathered it.
    San Antonio is so hot and humid in the summer, it is miserable.
    Hoonah - will have to look it up.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That really does sound scary! And I'm impressed with the generous narrator's heart that worries for his friend and son to get home safe even when he is in danger and might not survive the night.
Suggestion: " discarded my hat, stuffing it in a pocket. " (since you didn't discard the hat but put it on later, maybe just "removed" or "took off" ?
Question: Why was it not good to sweat ? ("That's never good in the woods")
Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
    Hello, thanks for taking the time to review and comment. You're quite right about discard. Thanks. As far as perspiring when you're out in the woods hunting, in particular when you're moving uphill, you end up getting tired and stopping to rest, and start to cool down from sweating. Especially in a case like this story covers, if you were to spend the night in one location, being wet could be the start of hypothermia. I spoke to one fellow who actually was in a situation where his partner had some kind of mental breakdown and left him on the beach for several days. He got hypothermia and started taking off his clothes, even though there was snow on the ground. In his case, he somehow came to his senses and got dressed before he froze to death and worked his way to a logging camp and was taken back to town.
reply by lyenochka on 31-Jan-2022
    Thank you for that explanation! It's good to know!
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The story had me anxious because I know if I was in that situation I would in a panic. Your writing carried the sense of urgency that such a story requires. Since you left without solving how you got out of this particular situation, it would interesting to know in a follow up, or else we might assume you died in the forest. It is a good thing this is fiction.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Thanks for reviewing this story. You're right, it is a good thing that it's fiction. I thought about writing an end to the story, but I was afraid that it would get so long that people would lose interest, so I didn't.
Comment from LisaMay
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You ended up in a real predicament. You might have frozen to death overnight with no waterproofs... that wool jacket will get wet and heavy. You write with authenticity, obviously familiar with backcountry terrain and hunting. This is a cautionary tale about the perils of getting lost, not keeping to a schedule, and not taking food and equipment to be prepared for a night in the open.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Thanks for this review and comments. The nice thing about wool is that it will stay warm even when wet. The downside is that it's heavy, especially when it's wet. That makes it all the more difficult when you're exhausted and hungry.
Comment from GollyGreen32
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi! I enjoyed your story a lot. You drew me in and kept reading for the entire story. I felt a little disappointed at the ending, though. Either they rescued him in the morning or maybe something happened with his friends, etc. Otherwise, nice job!

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
    Hello Golly,
    I thought about bringing it to a conclusion, but I didn't want to make the story too long. I sometimes get tired of reading stories if they drag on and on. I appreciate your input though, and thank you for reading and reviewing.

Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hello Friend.

I'm not a hunter and have never been. I can't identify with being stranded in the woods alone. In the story, the conditions that you wrote about are untenable for someone like me. As I began to read, the first thing I said was I would never allow myself to get in that position on purpose.

The descriptive narrative of what was happening in the woods made it clear to the reader that this was not just a small inconvenience. Your graphic description showed how desperate the situation became. You concluded the story by allowing the reader to decide what would happen next. You did a great job of raising the tension through the progression of the story.

The narrative is good, and the story is well written.

Robert

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
    Thanks for taking the time to read and review this story. I was never a big game hunter for years, but eventually, it became a necessity. The forest is an awesome place, but just like walking in an urban jungle, there are dangers to be aware of. One wrong move and the great day you're having turns to crap.
reply by Robert Zimmerman on 26-Jan-2022
    You're welcome. I limit my hunting to the grocery store.
Comment from zanya
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The suspense builds effectively and the reader too begins to feel alone and lost in the woods as night descends and the weather disimproves -could have a sequel ! good story-telling skills !

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
    Thank you for your kind review. The woods can be both hauntingly beautiful and dangerous at the same time. When dark descends, many of the creatures that call the forest home come out. I appreciate your taking the time to read this.
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This story, Alone, brings the readers deep into this unknown and dangerous environment for the worst-case scenario -- being lost. I enjoyed how you built the eventual situation. We are left with the question of survival except for the fact that we are reading the tale. Good stuff.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
    Thanks for reading and reviewing this story. The woods can be both a beautiful and dangerous place.