Reviews from

The Boatman

The mysterious island. (600 words)

18 total reviews 
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This story, The Boatman, is a freaky tale that sneaks up on the reader as the kids explore and encounter spirits of the past culture. Interesting and spine-tingling.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022

Comment from Thatguypk
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What great imagination. This is a good spine-chiller. If you extended it, you'd have the bones of a great movie script there. It could be visually stunning. I love that it reads like folk-lore. I love it. Well done.
PK

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2022

Comment from Tom Horonzy
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interesting story. Never can tell regarding the Land Down Under how a story begins and how it ends and even if you understood what was being said, with their accent, it remains enjoyable, mate.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 28-Jan-2022

Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The mother wanted her children to stay out of the water, which meant stay off from the water, too. It seems when we disobey, a person get themselves into trouble. Good thing these children were able to escape the Island of the Dead.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You have written an interesting incorporation of aboriginal culture into your own story. It is cleverly woven and is pretty seamless. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent entry for the ~Supernatural Story-not horror writing prompt contest. You get my vote. I love Aboriginal elders stories. I have a couple of Australian authors in this site.


Good luck in the contest.

Gypsy


 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I've often wondered how legends fare, with the constantly renewed telling of them, when I've been part of "Chinese whispers" mmmh. Sounds close to Charon, the Greek ferryman over the river Styx doesn't it? Great tale though Jenny, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
    Yes it does sound like the Aboriginal boatman of the dead is similar to Charon, but I doubt the Greeks met any Aboriginals, who of course would've had their gods before the Greeks were around. There is a boatman of souls also in Burmese culture, so it is a recurring motif.
reply by royowen on 26-Jan-2022
    Like the great flood is a recurring cultural legend,
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
    Yes. And some things Jesus said sound like Confucius from China.
reply by royowen on 26-Jan-2022
    I think Jesus was a bit older, and wisdom is wisdom whoever utters it.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
    According to the World History Encyclopedia: Confucius is believed to have lived from c. 551 to c. 479 BCE
    i.e. way before Jesus
    but you are right about wisdom - maybe even a cave man said to his group, "things will work out better for us if we love one another."
reply by royowen on 26-Jan-2022
    Longer Than God? in the beginning was the word, and the word was God. John 1:1, Before Abraham was. I Am. John 8:58, I thought you knew Jesus is God Emmanuel : God with us. I am really surprised you didn?t know that Jenny.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
    Jesus was Christ. We refer to dates as either before Christ or after Christ... in the Christian era. Jesus was an historical figure, living among men, then was revealed as the Son of God.
reply by royowen on 26-Jan-2022
    It?s hard to explain, the Godhead is Father,Son and Holy Ghost, He was there with God before the foundation of the Earth, as you are body, soul and spirit, but yet you are still Jenny. Read the book of John, that?s the basis of the Christian faith, otherwise it?s not belief.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
    Okay I'm a heathen then. You are spiritually correct about Trinity stuff, but the fact remains that Jesus was born to Mary in a specific year.
reply by royowen on 26-Jan-2022
    I?m merely pointing out nobody is older than God, please don?t get upset. I thought as you do before it made sense to me. He wouldn?t send somebody else to do His dirty work.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Spooky! This was a chilling Ghost story, Lisa. Why is it children always seem to get over under or around the instructions their parents give the in order to get in trouble. They don't listen. Thank heaven for Guardian Angles. Well done. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2022

Comment from damommy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A great story. Not only did it concern spirits, which is always interesting, but we learned a good deal of history of the place. I always like learning things like this. The Aborigines are interesting people, and not enough is known about them. I like that they think everything has a spirit. I'm not so sure they aren't right.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2022

Comment from Debbie Pope
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is definitely not in the horror genre, but it certainly gives me the shivers. You gently lead into the spiritual encounter and, thankfully, take us out again. I was afraid that the children would run from the men on the shore, afraid of getting in trouble. But, the trouble was in the boat with them. It probably lured them into the canoe in the first place.
I like your use of grandpa and your talk about knowing the people of your land. You call them neighbors even though they lived in the area centuries ago. Nice touch. Nice story.

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2022