Rise from the Fall
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Duels and Families"From one life to another
4 total reviews
Comment from Artasylum
Well, I've missed this little gem and will try to find my way back... I'm dying to find out who these people are and who's slaves they are... looking forward. Your characters are richly written... I know who they are and feel their ties. Great job. No more sixes this week or you would have one. Hopefully, on another chapter. yours, diana
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
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Well, I've missed this little gem and will try to find my way back... I'm dying to find out who these people are and who's slaves they are... looking forward. Your characters are richly written... I know who they are and feel their ties. Great job. No more sixes this week or you would have one. Hopefully, on another chapter. yours, diana
Comment Written 27-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
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Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed my work.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
I thoroughly enjoyed this story my friend! The imagery is spot on and fits nicely and brings it all together for a lovely presentation and the storyline was very captivating and interesting and held my attention throughout the piece;-)
I appreciate your sharing this well written piece with us and may God bless you!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
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I thoroughly enjoyed this story my friend! The imagery is spot on and fits nicely and brings it all together for a lovely presentation and the storyline was very captivating and interesting and held my attention throughout the piece;-)
I appreciate your sharing this well written piece with us and may God bless you!
Comment Written 27-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
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Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Ethan Vandervelden
Really enjoyable chapter! Reads well on its own but I am am drawn in and will be sure to check out the rest of the story!
{Crimson spatters dye the sand, while sweat coats us like the second skin.} -- Awesome sentence, very good imagery, painted me a picture as I read!
{I try to be mad, but I feel refreshed by the cool waters.} -- Really good, as it summarizes a feeling readers can relate to.
One potential SPAG that I saw:
{I see a forgotten soul in an ally(alley).}--The sentence actually almost works both ways but I'm guessing it is supposed to be alley.
Thank you for sharing! I'm looking forward to continue reading!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
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Really enjoyable chapter! Reads well on its own but I am am drawn in and will be sure to check out the rest of the story!
{Crimson spatters dye the sand, while sweat coats us like the second skin.} -- Awesome sentence, very good imagery, painted me a picture as I read!
{I try to be mad, but I feel refreshed by the cool waters.} -- Really good, as it summarizes a feeling readers can relate to.
One potential SPAG that I saw:
{I see a forgotten soul in an ally(alley).}--The sentence actually almost works both ways but I'm guessing it is supposed to be alley.
Thank you for sharing! I'm looking forward to continue reading!
Comment Written 25-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read my work. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
On the whole it is well written. I lost direction somewhere between verse five and six. Is Iona the red head with emerald eyes or the lady who kicked your butt? Para three ends peculiarly as "nodding in improvement." i rethought it as nodding approval."
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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On the whole it is well written. I lost direction somewhere between verse five and six. Is Iona the red head with emerald eyes or the lady who kicked your butt? Para three ends peculiarly as "nodding in improvement." i rethought it as nodding approval."
Comment Written 23-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
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Tom Horonzy, thank you for taking the time to read my work. To clarify, Iona is kicking Colton's ass, while the redhead is a different character altogether.
Thank you for pointing out my error. It's been fixed.
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so, the two combatants left for tea/ In the room with the tarp?
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A better comparison would be a water break after a workout.