The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Return Chapter 4"Erotic Turmoil
37 total reviews
Comment from Ethan Vandervelden
I had missed this chapter but I wont miss anymore! This is really good! I am enjoying the building tension as we learn more about who Meg was and who Bessie is! Thank you for sharing!!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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I had missed this chapter but I wont miss anymore! This is really good! I am enjoying the building tension as we learn more about who Meg was and who Bessie is! Thank you for sharing!!
Comment Written 30-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Aw, thank you, Ethan. I'm over the moon that you are enjoying this story. Thank you for that sixth star, I really appreciate it. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra (thanks for becoming a fan!!) xx
Comment from John Ciarmello
Okay, a bit more insight! I'm still not satisfied. I need to know more. Margot's Deja vu or feelings of knowing Bessie was somewhat revealing. I know she didn't meet her in the bank. Tricky passage. Loved this! Unfortunately, I can't six star you all the way through, lol. I'm in for the long haul.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Okay, a bit more insight! I'm still not satisfied. I need to know more. Margot's Deja vu or feelings of knowing Bessie was somewhat revealing. I know she didn't meet her in the bank. Tricky passage. Loved this! Unfortunately, I can't six star you all the way through, lol. I'm in for the long haul.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
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Aw, John, it's a six star review, what more could I ask? That you went and read this was so kind of you. There is a lot going on here, and Margot is right in the middle of it. I'm so pleased you are joining me. Thank you so much. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
Another excellent chapter for the book.
It started a bit slow for me,
but picked up a great deal when Margot and Bessie
get into the diary.
Margot took the Bible and diary into the kitchen [for two reasons. One,] because she wanted to make [herself]a cup of coffee, and [two] it was the warmest room in the house. I'd drop the [bracketed words]
I'd quite understand if you don't. It's just, well[,] you seem to know a lot about the history of this house, which led me to wonder...' Add comma
I'd also drop a few of the [hmm?] Just a suggestion, seemed like too many.
It seems like there are many ghosts here, but this is a ghost story. :)
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
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Hello Sandra,
Another excellent chapter for the book.
It started a bit slow for me,
but picked up a great deal when Margot and Bessie
get into the diary.
Margot took the Bible and diary into the kitchen [for two reasons. One,] because she wanted to make [herself]a cup of coffee, and [two] it was the warmest room in the house. I'd drop the [bracketed words]
I'd quite understand if you don't. It's just, well[,] you seem to know a lot about the history of this house, which led me to wonder...' Add comma
I'd also drop a few of the [hmm?] Just a suggestion, seemed like too many.
It seems like there are many ghosts here, but this is a ghost story. :)
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 26-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
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Hi Robert, thank you so much for this helpful review. I've changed the start of this chapter a lot, now. You were right. It was slow, and wasn't needed. I've also added the comma and removed a hmm. My friend, who I've modled Bessie's character on, speaks just like this, she's true Hampshire and such a lovely lady.
Thank you also for the lovely sixth star, I really appreciated that.
I hope you have recovered from your withdrawal symptoms from not having the internet, I'd have gone up the wall!! Warm hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ghost and Megs, because they both felt something for Mills. I wonder if Meg from the future will become Meg from the past. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Ghost and Megs, because they both felt something for Mills. I wonder if Meg from the future will become Meg from the past. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your next chapter.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Hmm, I'm loving how everyone is guessing the links between past and present. Of course, I'm not saying a word. Think of me as Bessie, know a lot, but revealing nothing!! LOL
Thank you so much, Iza, for your lovely review, I really appreciated it. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, the mystery is becoming slowing unraveled! I wonder now if Meg had committed suicide? Or something happened to her? It seems Bessie knows a lot more than she had divulged yet. Another interesting post!
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Oh, the mystery is becoming slowing unraveled! I wonder now if Meg had committed suicide? Or something happened to her? It seems Bessie knows a lot more than she had divulged yet. Another interesting post!
Comment Written 25-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Helen, for this lovely review. Margot will learn more in the next part. I'm glad you like this story. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from l.raven
Hi Sandra, Ok...sounds like Meg...without wanting to...
had to give up Miles...so she (might) have taken her life...
I just feel like Bessie is related some how...
she was driving me crazy not saying anything...
just sitting there nodding her head...
if it were me I would've been trying to
chock the words out...you know...how I get
at the end of each chapter...don't stop there...
and tell Margot to get on the ball...she can read
without Bessie not being there...we need answers...
and now the diary is a dead end...
not unless that's Miles in the house!!!...and Bessie
is Meg!!...Nahhhhh...but maybe it is Miles...hummmmmm....
another great chapter my amazing friend...always makes you want for more...hint...hint...sending much love on my snowmobile sweet you...Linda xxoo ð???ð???ð??¡ð??¿ð??·
we got more snow...but the best part is...tonight will be -11...wind chill will be about 15-20 below...burrr....I
love the snow...just not the bitter cold...
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Hi Sandra, Ok...sounds like Meg...without wanting to...
had to give up Miles...so she (might) have taken her life...
I just feel like Bessie is related some how...
she was driving me crazy not saying anything...
just sitting there nodding her head...
if it were me I would've been trying to
chock the words out...you know...how I get
at the end of each chapter...don't stop there...
and tell Margot to get on the ball...she can read
without Bessie not being there...we need answers...
and now the diary is a dead end...
not unless that's Miles in the house!!!...and Bessie
is Meg!!...Nahhhhh...but maybe it is Miles...hummmmmm....
another great chapter my amazing friend...always makes you want for more...hint...hint...sending much love on my snowmobile sweet you...Linda xxoo ð???ð???ð??¡ð??¿ð??·
we got more snow...but the best part is...tonight will be -11...wind chill will be about 15-20 below...burrr....I
love the snow...just not the bitter cold...
Comment Written 25-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Don't I just love you! Lol, your reviews never fail to make me laugh. Actually, I'm Bessie, I know things, but I'm not telling!!!!!! LOL
Thank you so much for my morning 'Linda Fix' I love your review and the questions. The answers will be answered, but then you'll have more questions.
I've decided to put off my flight to see you, I'd die of the cold! That would be like going to the North Pole! I hope you don't have to go out in that, especially if it's windy. Yes, I love the snow, probably because we rarely get it here in the South of England, but I don't do cold very well. You be careful, wrap up warm, and stay safe. Love you snow plough loads!
Thank you for that sixth star, my wonderful friend, and this funny review. More thermal heated hugs, and more love coming your way. :)) Sandra xx
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love making you laugh....
sorry to hear you canceled you trip...
it did get to -15...but today it's getting warmer...going to be 10 degrees...we're
having a heat wave...until tonight...
I put the car in the garage last night...
and put a blanket over it...but if there
is a problem...Michael (son) lives on the next block over...and he's a mechanic...
God sent...
if your Bessie...than I'm Margot...so stop sitting there nodding your head...and speak up...orrrrrrrrrr...your fired...wait a minute...does Graham know the rest of the story...before I fire you???...
and the way you answer questions...requires
more questions...you and your...here's a hint...after your hints...I'm more confused then before you told me the hint...woe-is-me...later you...
and your sooooooo very welcome...love those thermal hugs...and Noah's cozy hamburger socks he got me...I called him hotdog...and he called me hamburger...so Kristy got us these big cozy socks...his has hotdogs on them...and mine have hamburgers...sending trucks of snow...and tons of love heading
your way...smiling big...Linda xxoo 🚚🚚🚚💖
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No, I haven't told Graham what comes next, so you'll have to stick with me!! LOL.
Your socks sound amazing, I'm going to look on Amazon for a pair. I love a nice hamburger, do they smell like them????
Aw, you'll be jealous now, my darling, hubby, (got to keep him all praised up) has just dished up a lovely beef bourguignon! Smells divine! I'll let you know how it tastes when I've finished it! Lol, Love you lots, dear one. You can keep your truck full of snow!!!! xxxxxx
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LMBO...sometimes life cruel Bessie...
my sock spent the whole day in my
snow boots...so when I take my boots off...
they stand on their own...how do you think
they smell??...they walk to the washing machine on their own...
OMG...beef bourguignon...I can smell it from
here...oh you are a lucky lady...most men in
America...serve...hotdogs, chips, and a cold
beer...with a Twinkie for desert...I would rather eat my socks...love you gorgeous lady...soooooooo many...xxoo
Comment from Louise Muller
Congratulations, Sandra, on creating a fabulous chapter once again. Your work reads effortlessly, encouraging me to continue reading and see where it leads. Fantastic.
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Congratulations, Sandra, on creating a fabulous chapter once again. Your work reads effortlessly, encouraging me to continue reading and see where it leads. Fantastic.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jan-2022
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Thank you, Louise, for your continuing support of my story, I'm delighted you are enjoying it. Sending you a warm hug, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from alexisleech
Another great chapter, Sandra, and one that left the odd shiver down my spine. The fact that Meg has the same initials and surname as Margot is spooky enough, but the fact they share the same birthdate, and she died at the age Margot will be at her next birthday, goes beyond there being any chance that they're not connected in some way. What a dilemma. Margot obviously wants to be with her ghostly lover, but there's only one way she can do it!
As for Bessie - the jury's out. She definitely knows more than she's letting on, but that would make her a ghost too (I think!)
I can't wait to find out where this wonderful story is heading.
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
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Another great chapter, Sandra, and one that left the odd shiver down my spine. The fact that Meg has the same initials and surname as Margot is spooky enough, but the fact they share the same birthdate, and she died at the age Margot will be at her next birthday, goes beyond there being any chance that they're not connected in some way. What a dilemma. Margot obviously wants to be with her ghostly lover, but there's only one way she can do it!
As for Bessie - the jury's out. She definitely knows more than she's letting on, but that would make her a ghost too (I think!)
I can't wait to find out where this wonderful story is heading.
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 25-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
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Thank you so very much for this lovely, most encouraging review, Alexis. I'm really glad you are enjoying it. Don't you just love ghosts?? Sending you a big hug for the golden sixth star award, that means a lot. Love and hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from dmt1967
This is a good chapter but the start hook is a bit weak, in my opinion. Information like, why she went into the kitchen are not relevant and doesn't enhance the story in any way. Maybe...'Margot took the diary into the warmest room in the house, the kitchen. She switched on the kettle/percolator and sat on a high-backed chair and sat at the table.' This, in my opinion, is all that you need.
Thank you for sharing and take care.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
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This is a good chapter but the start hook is a bit weak, in my opinion. Information like, why she went into the kitchen are not relevant and doesn't enhance the story in any way. Maybe...'Margot took the diary into the warmest room in the house, the kitchen. She switched on the kettle/percolator and sat on a high-backed chair and sat at the table.' This, in my opinion, is all that you need.
Thank you for sharing and take care.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
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Thank you for reading and your helpful review, my friend. I'm not so worried about having a hooks at the beginning of chapters. I think it's best to keep them for the end of the chapters. The first chapter is the only one that absolutely must have a really strong hook, to get the reader wanting to keep turning the pages. I've found that works with my other novels, and the books I read of well known authors tend to do the same. But I do appreciate you mentioning it. I will tidy up the beginning, as I agree, some of it is irrellevant. Thank you again, my friend. Have a lovely day. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Pam (respa)
-An excellent chapter, Sandra. It flows very well and has excellent description when Margot and Bessie share the Bible and the diary. I like the bond they have. Of course Bessie reminds me of Mildred. I am glad that Bessie is there for Margot. I look forward to seeing what Bessie seemed concerned about.
-Sorry I didn't get to say too much, but I really wanted to review your story. The only means we had of seeing things online was using our own data on the smart phone.
-I enjoyed this chapter very much, and like the relationship between Bessie and Margot!
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
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-An excellent chapter, Sandra. It flows very well and has excellent description when Margot and Bessie share the Bible and the diary. I like the bond they have. Of course Bessie reminds me of Mildred. I am glad that Bessie is there for Margot. I look forward to seeing what Bessie seemed concerned about.
-Sorry I didn't get to say too much, but I really wanted to review your story. The only means we had of seeing things online was using our own data on the smart phone.
-I enjoyed this chapter very much, and like the relationship between Bessie and Margot!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2022
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Aw, Pam, it's so lovely to see you back. I hope you get full internet soon. (Notice the lower case, internet!) I can imagine how it must be driving you bonkers. Thank goodness you had a smart phone!
Thank you for this lovely review, Pam, and the lovely golden sixth star! I'm delighted you enjoyed this part.
I'm working on the next part now, and I have to be really careful not to reveal too much.
Bessie is a lot like Mildred as they had similar backgrounds. But, Mildred lives in Cornwall, and Bessie in Hampshire. (Near where I'm living now.) I've actually taken her character from a great friend of mine, she laughed when I told her. She is pure Hampshire, and is a lovely,kind lady, who helped me through my darkest days when my late husband died. Sadly, she doesn't have long to live, so there will be days I won't be on here.
Glad you're back! Love and hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Sandra. I actually updated the review a little when I saw you hadn't answered it. Thanks for sharing about the friend of yours, and I am sorry to hear about her health. How wonderful that she knows you wrote this character with her in mind. It makes it extra special for her. It is good to be back!!