Reviews from

When it Ends

33 Word Spiritual Fiction contest entry

4 total reviews 
Comment from SimianSavant
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

There is no finesse here, and that is the point. The image is terrifying enough. Anyone enraptured with angels might rethink their enrapturement after reading this, even if they are gay. Let's hope those angels did not take notes from Vlad the Impaler.

Side note: I will be holding off on reading your Battle of the Presidents entry until I complete my own, so as not to influence myself, but am planning to read it the moment I wake up on President's Day, with a hot cup of Joe [Biden's blood]. Do you think Biden would make it through the rapture?


 Comment Written 27-Jan-2022

reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
    Thank you for the big sixer, friend. Lol, I seriously doubt Biden would be one of those taken. Pretty sure he'd be facing one of these angels. Haha

    Well, dang, I was hoping you'd read it before then but if you don't want to, I guess I'll have to wait for your laughter. Haha. I just finished it. Not sure if I'm going to put a pic or not. I had a blast. Hopefully more people will join. These people have the imagination of belly button lint.

    Thanks again for the giant six, friend. I'm glad you liked the piece. I actually added the sword into the picture. He wasn't holding one in the original pic.

    Later
    Ron
reply by SimianSavant on 27-Jan-2022
    The problem is that I desperately want to read it, and if I refrain from doing so, I'm curious how similar our entries might be. In fact I have never more wanted to read an entry on fanstory. It's a terrible conundrum. At least it will give me something to look forward to.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
    Yeah, I figured there would be a few similarities in these. Hopefully we'll go at them from different angles. I already know they're going to hate mine. HAHA. There's one line I had to change because there'd be a chance I'd get death threats over it. Lol. This was fun, friend. Thanks for creating it.
reply by SimianSavant on 27-Jan-2022
    I will make a note to ask you about that line after I read it, lol. This is the reason I write exclusively under an alias. The people who hate me most here have already blocked me, but at least one of them secretly reads my work. I have a hunch your writing elicits a similar effect.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
    The line won't be hard to figure out. Lol.

    Oh, and I don't give a fat fart about what any of these imbeciles think. I just don't want to get kicked off the site for "offending" some folks.
reply by SimianSavant on 27-Jan-2022
    Yeah I saw that was in the site terms when I got suspended for my New Years piece. Kind of an odd disclaimer on a writing site. I forgot, I set up the Battle of the Presidents as my first ever CEC-moderated contest, to see how they handle it and to increase the viewership. A bunch of my contests have been "won" by anemic submissions that completely misunderstand or even avoid the topic. The most egregious ones were the Zoo and Grass Mud Horse entries, with the majority ignoring the assignment. This is a test to see if the CEC's involvement comes out as a net positive.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2022
    Yeah, good luck with that.
Comment from LyndaS
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I'm really not a fan of ANY pictures accompanying any writing. But I have to admit that your art is magnificent. Your message is stark, dark and probably true. While I found the whole thing depressing, this is beautifully written and presented. Well done, author. Lynda

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2022

reply by the author on 24-Jan-2022
    Wow, thank you so much for the fantastic review and giant sixer, Lynda. I actually put the sword in this picture. He wasn't holding one. I added the sword from another Google Image pic. Plus the shadow on his arm and toga. Lol. Yes, it's dark but this is how I believe it'll happen when God's done with it. Hopefully I won't be here to see it. Lol. I appreciate the the kind comments and huge rating, Lynda. Thank you again.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The story harkens to a Biblical end of the world with people dying after the rapture. You have reached the essence of your story in the contest limit. Well done!!!!!! Thanks for sharing this one.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2022

reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
    Thank you for the great review and stars, Theodore. I really appreciate it. Have yourself a great rest of your weekend.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Congratulations for a successful 33 word spiritual fiction on the rapture.

The work highlights a killing spree after the rapture, which culminated in the annihilation of the remnant population by the winged army of God.

The work earns its texture through its effective use of destructive anecdotes.

Excellent work. Bravo.

 Comment Written 22-Jan-2022

reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
    Thank you for the fantastic review, Lloyd. I really appreciate the generous stars, friend. I'm glad you liked this little piece.
reply by Lloyd T. Okoko on 23-Jan-2022
    Remain Blessed.