I Promised To Wait
You'll never be alone because20 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
So there was some murder-suicide in a home of violence where the mother killed the father and the little boy died in the process of starvation? The angel sent to recover the souls found only Timmy first but then realized that the "girl" was the mother. A rather grim story story but also one of mercy.
Comment:
Wasn't quite sure what to do with this part of the conversation:
"I understand. I'm sure your mother loved you." (odd thing to reply to the story of murder.)
"Yeah, when she was younger, but pa stole her youth, and her love faded away. She hated everyone and everything. (missing end quote and a strange thing for a little child to talk about stolen youth and fading love.)
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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So there was some murder-suicide in a home of violence where the mother killed the father and the little boy died in the process of starvation? The angel sent to recover the souls found only Timmy first but then realized that the "girl" was the mother. A rather grim story story but also one of mercy.
Comment:
Wasn't quite sure what to do with this part of the conversation:
"I understand. I'm sure your mother loved you." (odd thing to reply to the story of murder.)
"Yeah, when she was younger, but pa stole her youth, and her love faded away. She hated everyone and everything. (missing end quote and a strange thing for a little child to talk about stolen youth and fading love.)
Comment Written 21-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my post. I appreciate that you continue to follow the story and enjoy it. As usual, I am behind in responding.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from royowen
What a very sad story, but a beautiful one Carol. To me, there's nothing better than loyalty, being faithful to the one that one loves is more precious than anything, this maybe fiction, but these stories are immortal. This is beautifully written dear Carol, loved it, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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What a very sad story, but a beautiful one Carol. To me, there's nothing better than loyalty, being faithful to the one that one loves is more precious than anything, this maybe fiction, but these stories are immortal. This is beautifully written dear Carol, loved it, blessings Roy
Comment Written 21-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my post. I appreciate that you continue to follow the story and enjoy it. As usual, I am behind in responding.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Such a sad piece. It took me a minute or two to catch on - like when the angel/lady asked the boy about dying NOW - that she meant JUST now. Recently. You might tweak that a bit, if you feel so inclined.
But the rest was so precious. Family that sticks together. Wonder where the inspiration for that came from... hmmm...
Hugs to you!
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Carol,
Such a sad piece. It took me a minute or two to catch on - like when the angel/lady asked the boy about dying NOW - that she meant JUST now. Recently. You might tweak that a bit, if you feel so inclined.
But the rest was so precious. Family that sticks together. Wonder where the inspiration for that came from... hmmm...
Hugs to you!
Comment Written 21-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my post. I appreciate that you continue to follow the story and enjoy it. As usual, I am behind in responding.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Nicely written, Carol. The lady is an angel and her mission is to take the children home, because they are dead as well? The boy was waiting for his sister to die, so they could go together? I assume the boy wasn't her mission because he died earlier but refused to go. Who killed the children? The father? Maybe I don't have it completely straight.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Nicely written, Carol. The lady is an angel and her mission is to take the children home, because they are dead as well? The boy was waiting for his sister to die, so they could go together? I assume the boy wasn't her mission because he died earlier but refused to go. Who killed the children? The father? Maybe I don't have it completely straight.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my post. I appreciate that you continue to follow the story and enjoy it. As usual, I am behind in responding.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, Carol, you write such amazing stories. This was was so sad. That little boy wasn't going anywhere without his mother. When I realised he was also dead, but waiting for his mother's call, that was really goose pimply! You haven't lost your muse, my friend, not by a long shot! Loved this one. :)) Sandra xxxx
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Oh, Carol, you write such amazing stories. This was was so sad. That little boy wasn't going anywhere without his mother. When I realised he was also dead, but waiting for his mother's call, that was really goose pimply! You haven't lost your muse, my friend, not by a long shot! Loved this one. :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment Written 21-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my post. I appreciate that you continue to follow the story and enjoy it. As usual, I am behind in responding.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Susan Newell
Carol,
There seems to be a lot of darkness and death in your short stories lately. This is well written and tells a sad story of the loss of an entire family. We don't know how the children died, but it is admirable that Timmy wouldn't move on without his sister. I'm assuming it was an angel of death who came for the sister and discovered that Timmy had not gone with his angel of death because he wouldn't leave his sister behind. Good story.
Sue
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Carol,
There seems to be a lot of darkness and death in your short stories lately. This is well written and tells a sad story of the loss of an entire family. We don't know how the children died, but it is admirable that Timmy wouldn't move on without his sister. I'm assuming it was an angel of death who came for the sister and discovered that Timmy had not gone with his angel of death because he wouldn't leave his sister behind. Good story.
Sue
Comment Written 21-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read and review my post. I appreciate that you continue to follow the story and enjoy it. As usual, I am behind in responding.
Hugs, Carol
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You are welcome.
Comment from papa55mike
It's amazing the things people put their children through from violence, abuse, and then murder. What a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2022
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It's amazing the things people put their children through from violence, abuse, and then murder. What a wonderfully written story. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 21-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2022
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thank you so much Mike for your kindness and the review. Yes, I can't image how much pain must be built up inside of a person to be able to hurt anyone let alone a child. I shiver at the thought.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Theodore McDowell
A poignant, brutal, sad and heartwrenching story. The ending is a real twist and unexpected but brilliantly done. You are a fine writer who can spin any tale.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2022
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A poignant, brutal, sad and heartwrenching story. The ending is a real twist and unexpected but brilliantly done. You are a fine writer who can spin any tale.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2022
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I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness and your review. I am struggling with life at the moment so I tend to put my darkest emotions into my characters and pray for a beautiful ending. I hope it comes across that way. Thank you very much.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is heart breaking. Thank you for sharing.
with his arms wrapped tightly around the little blond girl, Timmy whispered, "I promised I'd wait, Emmy." (capital 'w' needed on 'with')
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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2022
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This is heart breaking. Thank you for sharing.
with his arms wrapped tightly around the little blond girl, Timmy whispered, "I promised I'd wait, Emmy." (capital 'w' needed on 'with')
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2022
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Thanks so much for catching that missed W...Fixed!
I hope I took some of my darkest emotions and found a little light at the end. Maybe if I spread it around, I might find the glimmer myself. Appreciate you and the review, Barbara.
Hugs, Carol
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continuing with prayers and hugs
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thanks, Barbara... I always know you are there. I am blessed
Comment from Judy Lawless
There is a lot more going on here than first meets the eye, Carol. You've painted a bleak picture, that takes an unexpected twist, leaving us wondering just exactly went on here. Well done.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2022
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There is a lot more going on here than first meets the eye, Carol. You've painted a bleak picture, that takes an unexpected twist, leaving us wondering just exactly went on here. Well done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2022
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When Timmy died, he couldn't leave his sister behind. He felt it was his job (sibling or angel) to protect her till the cruel end. He waited in the eaves until her turn, offering comfort as much as he could. A bit of fantasy I suppose, but I often feel as if my loved ones are here by my side and I guess that's where this story came from.
Hugs, Carol
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I didn't know who killed who, and when. It gives me something to think about.
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sorry--- The drunk father split the mother's head open and beat her and the little girl. The mother shot him and then they all died. the boy had been killed before (he's a waiting angel) refusing to leave the little one behind. sorry I made it so confusing.
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Okay, that makes sense now. Thanks for clearing it up.
