Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Excellent

This s a great piece of writing. A well deserved wiN
I love the repetitions,
Anna and Bella were very distressed at causing their brother such pain.
that you have put to good use and that give the prose almost a poetic ring.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2022

Thank you so much Katherine! What a super review. Appreciated greatly.
Wendy

Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This story, What Could Go Wrong?, is a funny/serious chronicle of Dan's survival despite his sisters' hopefully subconscious desire to kill him.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2022

Lol! They were both very young with the first couple of accidents, and didn't think through consequences! Thanks so much for reviewing - much appreciated!
Wendy

Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Excellent

Bella and Anna got their brother into trouble many times and also caused some injury to their brother. It sounds like they were instigators and troublemakers. Wow!

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2022

Thanks so much for your review. Appreciated!
Wendy

Comment from cupa tea

Excellent

Lol, I'm thinking he finally figured out not to trust those two...I loved the little story. Good luck in the contest...

off the children and sent them inside to play while she hosed herself (off) as well.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022

Thanks so much for your review and good wishes. So glad you enjoyed it.
Wendy

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Excellent entry for the ~ Family Story ~ (fiction) writing prompt contest. I read the rules... It's crazy. You did well with them.

A stunning and dramatic story in its entirety, though short, it's compelling in structure and substance. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022

Thank you so much for your review and good wishes. Yes, I kept within the parameters. Personally I don't like death in family stories ... and my character managed to stay alive! Lol.
Wendy

Comment from Aussie

Excellent

This guy is an accident waiting to happen! I'm waiting for Dan's parachute not to open? Well, you have a good entry and I wish you well speedy Gonzales!

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022

Thanks so much, dear Kay. Super review. So glad you enjoyed it. (That was a bit of fiction at the end, thankfully, and a few other bits were too!)
Wendy

Comment from Liz O'Neill

Excellent

Confucius say, "Breaking rules can result in breaking glass in window and nearly breaking skull. This is a plausible story. You have developed your characters well. The senerios are sadly realistic. Good job.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022

Thanks so much Liz! Love your review!
Wendy

reply by Liz O'Neill on 20-Jan-2022

***Smile***

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

This sounds a lot like my household. We seemed to go from one diseaster to another. I liked your story a lot and I didn't see any errors. You did a great job. Enjoy your evening. Shirley

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022

Thank you very much for your positive review. Much appreciated.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Average

I liked it. Maybe deserves an additional star but until the ending and his remark, or whomever made "What could possibly go wrong" had the entire story pop at that point.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022

Thanks for your time and for reviewing. Could you make a suggestion for improvement please so I can do better next time?
Wendy

reply by Tom Horonzy on 20-Jan-2022

Not really, as to suggestions. I enjoy reading some works, and if I finish those pieces, it stands alone the work t was good. If I find the work difficult, I don't finish it. Besides, anyone has license to write as they please for they write from within. Once others put in their two cents some will have the tendency to write for another rather than themselves. My largest growth critic is re-reading what I wrote before. It is amazing how often I change what I felt was good previously in a re-write.

reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022

That's fine. I felt as though you missed the point of my piece however. I always write to please myself rather than others, although it's a bonus if others like it.
And just that usually on this site if you give a four rating or less, the site suggests you make recommendations or suggestions for improvement. I will look forward to seeing some of your work.
Wendy

reply by Tom Horonzy on 21-Jan-2022

thanks. i typing with one hand. bum shoulder. that's why no caps. i ask... would you read I am, He was, She is- a sci-fi comedy and tell me if it scratches your funny bone as it did mine. I was in tears.

Comment from Anne Johnston

Excellent

I love it, Wendy. After telling all the stories of all the accidents that had happened in Dan's life, the birthday gift he was given certainly was the final straw. What could possibly go wrong?

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2022

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reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022

Thanks so much Anne for your lovely review and encouragement.
Wendy

reply by Anne Johnston on 20-Jan-2022

You are welcome, Wendy