Reviews from

The Return

Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "The Return Chapter 3"
Erotic Turmoil

42 total reviews 
Comment from irishauthorme
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great chapter! All the occurrences read as perfectly logical. Everything Margot did is what anyone would do in a new house, explore!
Liked the flashback, more hints of Margot possibly being a reincarnation of someone who lived in the house a hundred years before. This struck a chord with me, I believe in reincarnation, and in rebirth, the eternal soul in other lifetimes.
Surprised at the departure from the traditional English Tea, to coffee, one of my vices.
Very good work!
irish

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 03-Sep-2022
    I believe in reincarnation, too. I've already decided what I want to do in my next life! :) As for the tea. I research everything, even though it's fiction. Coffee was the main drink for centuries in the UK even though tea has been around the longest in some eastern countries. (5000+ years) When tea came to the UK, it was far to expensive for the masses, so coffee was still the main drink. More people are drinking coffee now, although tea is still the most popular, especially in the north of England. I chose coffee for this story because I drink it a lot, and because it was still very bitter in the 1800s, Bessie didn't know about todays coffee. There's a clue in there somewhere!!! Lol. Thanks again, Irish for this great review. Have a lovely weekend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
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This is a chapter that shows she might have had a previous life. You did a good job leading up to Margot's vision. With Meg's date or death and the ghost saying they will be together soon are you saying Margot might die on the upcoming November 11.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2022


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
    Now you know I can't tell you that, Joan! Lol. You are so kind going back to read the early chapters, I really appreciate it. Warm hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by dragonpoet on 20-Jun-2022
    I know. But I still like guessing. If she does died on November 11 of the present year in the story it wouldn't be much longer.
    Joan
Comment from DeboraDyess
Excellent
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Coffee was recieved with mixed reviews by ME, too! But, alas, right after I figured out how to drink it the way I like it, I found out I'm allergic to it. So no worries about coffee now!
Hey, wanted you to know that I'm listening to the book to get caught up. That means I probably won't catch any booboos until I"m actually paying more attention to text than to audio. But I wanted to get back into the book and this was the only way I could think of to do it, so... yep.
Blessings! Loving it.
Debs

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
    Thank you, Debs. I've just finished writing chapter 13, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for its reception on Sunday. It will be either 'Hey this is brilliant!!' or 'What a load of rubbish!' Lol.

    I use the read aloud on here when I want to listen to see if I can spot any errors. Mainly missing words. Sometimes I type faster than my brain can send the message to my fingers. :)) Thanks for reading this chapter. I really appreciate it. Love and hugs. Sandra xx
Comment from John Ciarmello
Excellent
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Hello, Okay I've gotten my Sandra fix. The dream scene in this chapter is to no surprise incredibly written. I just love Bessie. The coffee comment gave me a smile. I knew something bad was going to be in that trunk in the attic. Anyway, you're almost ranking my Dan Brown novels! ALMOST! :)))

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
    I love Dan Brown, I've read most of them now, and still have some on my shelf to read. You've got good taste!!
    Thank you so much, John. I'm glad you enjoyed this part. Things are beginning to happen. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Mary Shifman
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This story continues to become more and more exciting. How wonderful it would be to find such a house filled with mysteries to explore. I admit, it would be a little disconcerting to keep having apparent past life visions and the mysterious ghostly lover would be a little off- putting. Well done.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
    Oh, Mary, thank you so very much for this really lovely review. You really have made my day. I'm so pleased you are enjoying this story. The sixth star award is just amazing. Thank you, my friend. Humungous hugs! Sandra xxx
reply by Mary Shifman on 01-Feb-2022
    You are very welcome.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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the story is getting more suspenseful in every paragraph I read. I like your mystery story for sure...this house evidently has some pizazz to it...but who were the people who lived there before Margot arrived?

 Comment Written 23-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2022
    Bless you, you certainly know how to put a smile on my face. Thanks so much, Rosemary. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from Ethan Vandervelden
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent chapter! I was most happy to hear more about Bessie and the character you are giving her. I really enjoy the way she speaks and I feel like as I read I can hear her voice. -Really good work on her character!

Just one SPAG to consider:

"which pleased Margot (to) no end.--this may be a UK English phrase I am unfamiliar with, I apologize if that is the case. (I'm Canadian for your reference)

The story is progressing nicely and you are delivering pieces of the information well!

Couple of my favorite lines:

'Nothing, I just felt someone walk over my grave,' --I had never heard this before and had to look it up. What a cool phrase, thank you for the introduction!

'Oh, well then, you's better be showing me the others ... just so's I know which one I likes best.' She grinned, and continued taking small sips of the hot liquid.--This line really felt like it was giving Bessie personality and helped me imagine her voice.

I am looking forward to reading about what is written in the diary and how you will deliver it! Well done, great chapter!

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Hi Ethan, welcome to Fanstory! I'm delighted you enjoyed this chapter of my book, and thank you so much for this lovely review. I really appreciated it. I like having a 'Bessie' in my books, they add so much to a story. That sentence you picked up on is a UK expression, but as you are the second person to point it out, I will change it. Thank you so much for your input. My next chapter will be out on Sunday, I hope to see you there. Warm hugs, my new friend. :)) Sandra
Comment from estory
Excellent
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I think this is coming along nicely. I think I missed one chapter of this, but here you continue with the eerily charming mood, Margot delving into the mysterious house, with the ghost who is obviously treating her as the reincarnation of his lost love, Meg. I thought the ending was a bit spooky, with Margot discovering that she is the same age as Meg was when she died, and that her birthday is just weeks away. I think it's creating the necessary suspense to keep us guessing as to what will happen to Margot here; will she meet some kind of mysterious end at the hand of the amorous ghost? We'll have to stay tuned...estory

 Comment Written 19-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
    Thank you so much, estory, for another of your fabulous reviews. I'm really pleased you are liking my story. That you think I've created the necessary suspense, has made my day. Thank you!! Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Chrissy710
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Sandra Well you are taking us into another mystery love story I hope but as usual you will have twists and turns throughout and keep us hanging out for each chapter
A great start sorry I did read chapter two also excellent
So this review cover both
Lol
Cheers Chrisx

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
    Aww, thank you so much, Chris! What a lovely lady you are going back to catch up. I really value your thoughts on my story, and thank you so much for the golden star. Love and hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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This chapter extends the mystery of the old house. Bessie seems to be the only constant. She is present every time an important clue of its past is discovered or somehow guides Meg to finding clues even if she seems to be gone, I believe she is a ghost with a purpose in mind, Everything about the old house seems to have been left as it was 135 years ago awaiting Meg to discover its truth and hers.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2022
    I love your review, Jan! You've really thought it through, the clues, Bessie, the house! Well done. Now to see where this is going, and why it's happening. Bless you, my friend, and thank you so very much!! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx