Never Saw It Coming
first person flash fiction31 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I enjoyed reading this as I do everything you write. After reading it caused me to sit here and ponder the statement this makes on our society. It's scary. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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I enjoyed reading this as I do everything you write. After reading it caused me to sit here and ponder the statement this makes on our society. It's scary. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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The thing is, look at when things go wrong, demonstrations, marches and how frequently it turns of violence and looting. It will happen, sadly. G
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Another story to stick with me! Good flash fiction. Your plot was engaging and seemed to go a completely different direction than it ended up. Hallmark of flash fiction. Poor compound. They tried so hard to be prepared, and for what, lol?
Loved it,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Another story to stick with me! Good flash fiction. Your plot was engaging and seemed to go a completely different direction than it ended up. Hallmark of flash fiction. Poor compound. They tried so hard to be prepared, and for what, lol?
Loved it,
Rhonda
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Sometimes I think the survivalists have the right idea but then it depends on what is coming! lol Much appreciated, G
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So very true!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Pretty well done.
"sound slithering across the plains at night like scalded snakes" - I don't recognize that sound, can't make it happen in my head.
"I took the decision".- never heard it that way. I don't quite understand it. (made the decision, took the position)
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Pretty well done.
"sound slithering across the plains at night like scalded snakes" - I don't recognize that sound, can't make it happen in my head.
"I took the decision".- never heard it that way. I don't quite understand it. (made the decision, took the position)
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Many thanks. Where I come from, took the decision is very common. All the best
GMG
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Interesting. Thanks
Comment from cat frenette
I really enjoyed your story giraffmang!
It clearly illustrated the the planning, the forethought involved to ensure their survival, leading to extreme measures to protect their survival, only to find that, in the end, it was for nothing. A wonderful story!
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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I really enjoyed your story giraffmang!
It clearly illustrated the the planning, the forethought involved to ensure their survival, leading to extreme measures to protect their survival, only to find that, in the end, it was for nothing. A wonderful story!
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Many thanks, my friend. Much appreciated. GMG
Comment from royowen
At the end of days I suppose one thing, I don't want to be without faith, or indeed the end of life, it makes life hardly worthwhile, I've been there, without any hope, but a incredible visitation turned me into a musician, songwriter, and a poet. But in the trenches one's desperation changes to wishing. This is a super post G, a real goodie, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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At the end of days I suppose one thing, I don't want to be without faith, or indeed the end of life, it makes life hardly worthwhile, I've been there, without any hope, but a incredible visitation turned me into a musician, songwriter, and a poet. But in the trenches one's desperation changes to wishing. This is a super post G, a real goodie, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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There's that old saying isn't there? There's no atheists in a foxhole...
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Well done
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is extremely well done! You started at the beginning, moved to the middle explaining what was going on, then you brought in the ending. Your words are very descriptive and I could practically see and hear everything you wrote. Good luck with the contest.
Patty
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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This is extremely well done! You started at the beginning, moved to the middle explaining what was going on, then you brought in the ending. Your words are very descriptive and I could practically see and hear everything you wrote. Good luck with the contest.
Patty
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Many thanks for the great response and rating, Patty. I very much appreciate it. GMG
Comment from Pearl Edwards
You built up the tension well in this story of trying to outlast but, as you concluded, then all there is to do but wait. I've always wondered why would you want to live when everyone else is gone. Well td G. Cheers
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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You built up the tension well in this story of trying to outlast but, as you concluded, then all there is to do but wait. I've always wondered why would you want to live when everyone else is gone. Well td G. Cheers
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Yep, what are you living for and what would it be like. Who knows? G
Comment from LovnPeace
All too real. I have recently moved and lost much of my mini prep things due to downsizing. I know it is fruitless, but I still do some. I am a Christian and have great Faith. I also know the end of the story. I guess it is just my nature to do what I can. Great story with surreal visuals. Blessings, Barbara
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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All too real. I have recently moved and lost much of my mini prep things due to downsizing. I know it is fruitless, but I still do some. I am a Christian and have great Faith. I also know the end of the story. I guess it is just my nature to do what I can. Great story with surreal visuals. Blessings, Barbara
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Many thanks for checking this one out, Barbara. G
Comment from SimianSavant
So you broke a few small technical writings rules. Big whoop. There are a couple fragments but you did them on purpose. Here are some other small things:
I gathered the members together and spelt it out <= spelled. Spelt is a type of ancient grain which you ought to be growing in this scenario so no one farts from their gluten allergies. Now that would be a true apocalypse.
Not happy, but <= this is acceptable as slang but it'd be better to write "They weren't happy"
There was a lot of fornicating that night <= hahaha
I liked the style you employed here, being very careful not to overshow what is going on, which creates a lot of suspense and intrigue all up through the end. Nice work.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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So you broke a few small technical writings rules. Big whoop. There are a couple fragments but you did them on purpose. Here are some other small things:
I gathered the members together and spelt it out <= spelled. Spelt is a type of ancient grain which you ought to be growing in this scenario so no one farts from their gluten allergies. Now that would be a true apocalypse.
Not happy, but <= this is acceptable as slang but it'd be better to write "They weren't happy"
There was a lot of fornicating that night <= hahaha
I liked the style you employed here, being very careful not to overshow what is going on, which creates a lot of suspense and intrigue all up through the end. Nice work.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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I think I broke more than a few rules! lol
Funnily enough, spelt is actually correct. It is the past tense for spell.
G
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Ah, I see you are from Northern Ireland. That being the case, you are right. Different countries different rules.
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow! That's brutal, Gareth. You are rapidly becoming the king of flash fiction here on FS. You pick gigantic themes, then blur the edges of the characterization so they are like none of us ... like all of us. Very dark. Very Biblical.
Only a couple of things as I read along:
The first signs we saw of things going wrong was the smoke on the horizon. [The first SIGN ... was the smoke ...]
sound slithering across the plains at night like scalded snakes. [Whoa! that says it all!]
but it was an all-right existence away from the throws of the modern world. [" ... away from the THROES of the modern world," assuming "throws" is not the European spelling.
Again, this is some Brilliant writing, Gareth. Thanks for this evening's entertainment.
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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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Wow! That's brutal, Gareth. You are rapidly becoming the king of flash fiction here on FS. You pick gigantic themes, then blur the edges of the characterization so they are like none of us ... like all of us. Very dark. Very Biblical.
Only a couple of things as I read along:
The first signs we saw of things going wrong was the smoke on the horizon. [The first SIGN ... was the smoke ...]
sound slithering across the plains at night like scalded snakes. [Whoa! that says it all!]
but it was an all-right existence away from the throws of the modern world. [" ... away from the THROES of the modern world," assuming "throws" is not the European spelling.
Again, this is some Brilliant writing, Gareth. Thanks for this evening's entertainment.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2022
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got thos changes sorted.
I wrote a piece a week ago or so about writing longer which someone pointed out to me the other day.
i explained that I meant service the story, not the word count. I could have trimmed this down to meet an arbitrary word count but chose not to.
All the best
G
